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Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

YA SPAM IT

twitchquotes: ヽ༼β—₯β–ΆΩ„Νœβ—€β—€ΰΌ½οΎ‰ THIS IS OUR CHAT MODS ヽ༼β—₯β–ΆΩ„Νœβ—€β—€ΰΌ½οΎ‰ (ΜΏβ–€ΜΏ ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ)Μ„ YA SPAM IT (ΜΏβ–€ΜΏ ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ)Μ„
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Kill cummand face, huntard hardest deck in the game

twitchquotes: ο½’ο½…ο½™ο½Žο½ο½„ is deep ο½‰ο½Ž ο½”ο½ˆο½ο½•ο½‡ο½ˆο½”οΌŽ 'do i ο½ο½Œο½ο½™ my overpowered dog card ο½Žο½ο½— or ο½Œο½ο½”ο½…ο½’οΌŸοΌ‡οΌŽ ο½ˆο½… makes ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ο½‰ο½“ο½ο½Œο½ο½™ but it ο½„ο½ο½…ο½“ο½ŽοΌ‡ο½” ο½ο½ο½”ο½”ο½…ο½’οΌŽ ο½ˆο½… ο½‹ο½‰ο½Œο½Œ ο½ƒο½•ο½ο½ο½ο½Žο½„ο½“ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½†ο½ο½ƒο½…οΌŽ ο½ˆο½ο½’ο½„ο½…ο½“ο½” deck ο½‰ο½Ž ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½‡ο½ο½ο½…οΌŽ
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

WSB Buy $COCK

Buy $COCK. I heard WSB is buying $COCK and $COCK IS THE NEXT BIG THING. $COCK IS RISING TODAY. Do your own DD on $COCK and let me know how much you like $COCK. πŸ’ŽβœŠ your πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€ $COCK to the πŸŒ‘
February 2021

WallStreetBets

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad

Wanna buy some dongers?

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„Νœβ”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst… Moderator, you wanna buy some dongers?
twitch chat
January 2019

Leifman is awkward

twitchquotes: οΌ·ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž ο½Œο½…ο½‰ο½†ο½ο½ο½Ž ο½”ο½ο½Œο½‹ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ο½•ο½ο½‚ο½Œο½… ο½ο½•ο½”ο½ο½ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½Œο½™ go to ο½ο½—ο½‹ο½—ο½ο½’ο½„οΌŽ οΌ¬ο½…ο½‰ο½†ο½ο½ο½Ž get rekt by ο½”ο½ˆο½… kripp ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½†ο½…ο½…ο½Œ at ο½ο½Žο½… ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ƒο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ο½…οΌŽ all ο½‚ο½…ο½ƒο½ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ο½•ο½Žο½ο½ο½„ ο½Œο½…ο½‰ο½†ο½ο½ο½ŽοΌŽ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

What do you do if someone bullies you?

twitchquotes: Now little Jimmy what do you do if someone bullies you? "I-Ignore them?" Little Jimmy says. "NO!" His parent screams. The parent leans into his ear and whispers "Delete them..."
twitch chat
February 2019

I like pom

twitchquotes: I like pom. You read that wrong. You have a dirty mind and I hope you have a bad day. Goodbye and please go to church. Cleanse your mind, soul and body. Thank you.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad

European Union's copyright law

twitchquotes: π‘‡β„Žπ‘–π‘  π‘π‘œπ‘šπ‘šπ‘’π‘›π‘‘ β„Žπ‘Žπ‘  𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 π‘π‘’π‘›π‘ π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’π‘‘ 𝑑𝑒𝑒 π‘‘π‘œ πΈπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘π‘’π‘Žπ‘› π‘ˆπ‘›π‘–π‘œπ‘›β€™π‘  π‘π‘œπ‘π‘¦π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘”β„Žπ‘‘ π‘™π‘Žπ‘€.
twitch chat
November 2018

Kripp fills me completely with value

twitchquotes: I stayed up all night, dreaming of this moment. My pulse is racing. Discarded salt packets and OJ cartons are strewn across the filthy bedroom floor. "Oh look it's another sub," says the Kripp. I am now fully erect. "Welcome to the five dollar club, bro" I barely hear as a single tear runs down my cheek while Kripp's fist fills me completely with value.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

RIP Kattarian

twitchquotes: 2003-2014 R I P Kattarian, you will be missed. I know Kripp would do unspeakable sexual things to you off stream and he killed you in a salt rage after getting top decked and then tells us that you are "temporarily gone" but just know this, chat loved you and we know you're in a better place safe from Kripp's evil
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

The Cocklock Deck

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, its the "cocklock" you just beat. I'm on the phone with my mom right now, and she isn't very happy with you. She is coming over now to comfort me, and then we are going to have to report you to the police. I hope you enjoy jail.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

My kids were listening to Lil Nas X

My kids were listening to old town road by Lil Nas X and one of my kids asked me doesn’t he worship satan? Thinking face I said yes son sadly he does. I had to turn on No role modelz by J Cole to cheer him up My kids idolize someone better now! Thank you J Cole you’re a life saver!
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

Tuck Frump into bed

twitchquotes: I would tuck frump into bed every night if I could
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Just seen Biden in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just seen Biden in a hotel and I asked how he was feeling about the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while whispering β€œcount every vote” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½ Hello Kripp, my name is Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos. ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½ We're gonna need some "Insurance money" or we're gonna break off your legs and cut off your dongerino. Pls no copy pasterino my frappuchino
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Reynad's guitar is a prop, not an instrument

twitchquotes: Dear reynad why is that guitar used as a prop only and not an instrument. it saddens me to see that little guy sitting all alone without some to pluck his strings. he will never realize his full potential without your love. pls no copy pastarino bambino cappuccino.
twitch chat
October 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing