[Copypasta] The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Riot's script for Worlds

twitchquotes: The year is 2046. Faker's mind has been uploaded to a robotic host. With SKT's 33rd World Championship victory, every champion in the game now has SKT skins. NA still hasn't reached semis, EU is still salty, and China continues to choke. Such is Riot's script.
twitch chat
October 2016

League of Legends

UwU sentence deterioration

twitchquotes: Imagine reading a post, but over the course of it the quality seems to deteriorate and it gets wose an wose, where the swenetence stwucture and gwammer rewerts to a pwoint of uttew non swence, an u jus dont wanna wead it anymwore (o´ω`o) awd twa wol owdewl iws jus awfwul (´・ω・`)
twitch chat
April 2019

Weebs

Classic

THIS GAME IS AMAZING

twitchquotes: PogChamp THIS GAME IS AMAZING! PogChamp (Five dollars were deposited in your PayPal Account. Please, remove this part of the message before pasting it in the chat, thank you and have a nice day!)
twitch chat
May 2017

sellout

Chibi LeBlanc

⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⠿⠿⢿⡿⣿⡿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢾⣟⣯⣿⢯⣿⢯⣿⢯⡿⠯⠛⠋⠉⠠⠄⠠⠈⢀⠠⢹⣟⣿⡽⣟⢿⢾⢿⡿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣽⢿⡾⣟⣯⡿⠫⠉⡀⠂⠐⠈⡀⠂⡈⠠⠈⢀⠄⡈⢿⡷⡯⡺⡪⡽⣕⢟⢮⢯⡺⣕⢯⡳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣷⣟⣿⣻⢿⠉⠡⠐⠄⠄⢈⠄⡁⠠⠄⠄⠐⠈⠄⠄⢀⠸⣿⢯⢝⢮⢳⢝⡽⣕⢷⢝⡮⣳⢝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣷⢿⣽⣯⣿⡇⢁⠄⡁⠐⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⠂⢁⠈⡀⠂⠠⠄⠹⣗⡝⣎⢯⡳⣝⢮⡳⣝⣞⢵⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣽⣟⣷⢿⣞⣷⡀⠄⠠⠈⡀⠂⠐⢀⠁⡈⠄⠄⡀⠂⡁⠄⠠⠓⣝⢎⣗⢽⡪⣗⡽⣺⡪⡯⡺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⢿⣽⡾⣟⣯⡿⣇⠄⢂⠠⠄⡈⠄⠄⡂⠄⡁⢂⠐⠠⠐⠄⡂⠠⠱⠣⠳⠝⠮⠳⠝⠞⡮⣫⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣳⣿⣟⣯⣿⢿⡄⠂⠠⠁⠠⠈⡀⢂⠁⢂⠠⡈⠠⠈⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡠⣜⡵⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡽⣟⣾⣯⢿⡾⣟⣷⠄⡁⢈⠄⢡⢰⡰⣢⣳⠄⡯⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣠⢤⣖⢾⡹⣝⢞⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⢿⣟⣷⡟⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢗⣗⢽⣕⢗⠄⡼⢝⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⢯⡳⣕⢯⡺⣕⢯⡳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⣁⣓⢽⢵⣳⠏⣕⣒⠒⡆⠄⠄⡁⠄⠐⠄⢸⢮⡳⣝⣞⢽⢕⡯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⢿⡇⠄⠂⣻⢊⢰⢾⣻⣽⣿⣳⢰⢲⡃⠠⠄⠄⠄⢀⠈⠄⠄⠉⠌⠨⣁⡻⣪⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣳⡿⣾⢷⣿⡚⢁⠄⠄⣸⢽⢽⣾⣻⣯⣷⢿⣾⣽⣽⠁⠄⢀⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠈⡤⣳⢽⢕⡯⡳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣻⣽⡿⣾⣻⣷⡄⠄⠘⢿⣻⣾⢾⡷⣾⢿⡷⣿⢾⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⢌⢯⡺⣕⢯⡺⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣞⣯⣷⣿⣻⣽⣾⢀⡆⠄⠄⠈⠙⠋⠛⠛⣋⣍⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠐⣜⣗⢽⣕⢯⣺⢳⣝⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⣟⣖⣭⣝⠷⠯⣾⡿⣦⣀⠃⢀⣀⠶⣿⡽⠿⠆⠂⠄⡀⣾⡰⣝⢜⢮⢮⡳⣕⢯⢮⡳⡳⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣽⢷⣾⡃⢀⡄⠉⠙⠋⠄⢄⣻⣿⡗⢰⣾⣿⣷⠄⡁⠄⣿⡯⣪⡫⣺⢕⡯⣺⢝⡵⣫⢯⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣞⣯⡿⣷⢿⣟⣿⢷⣾⣄⣷⢿⠁⣯⢇⣿⣷⣿⠇⢀⢀⠂⠸⣯⣪⢺⡪⣗⡽⡮⣳⢽⡪⣗⢗⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⣯⣿⣻⢿⣽⣯⡿⣷⣻⣽⠏⢀⣿⢸⣿⣿⣯⠄⡠⣸⡆⠠⠑⣕⢗⣝⢞⢮⡫⣞⢵⡫⣞⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⡿⣾⢯⣿⣻⢷⣯⡿⣯⡿⠁⡈⠙⡿⠘⠿⠟⢛⣁⡠⠘⢿⣆⠄⠘⠵⣕⢯⡳⡽⡺⣕⡟⡮⡮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣻⣯⣷⢿⣻⡷⣿⢯⡟⠄⢪⣴⣄⠠⣠⣾⡿⣟⣇⢠⠘⢿⣀⣡⣬⡺⣕⢯⡫⡯⡺⡮⡯⣺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣾⣻⣾⣻⣟⣯⣿⣻⣟⠃⣴⣾⢿⣻⣧⠪⣷⡿⢛⣩⣴⡶⡈⢷⣫⡳⡯⣳⢝⡮⡯⣫⢞⣝⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⣽⡾⣯⣿⣽⡾⣯⡟⠄⠿⣾⢿⣟⡎⠂⠉⣶⢿⣻⡽⠋⡀⠄⢞⣜⢮⣳⡫⣞⣝⢮⢯⡺⡵⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿⠇⠄⠠⠄⡙⠙⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠋⠄⠄⠠⠄⠈⢮⣺⡪⣞⡵⡳⡽⡵⣝⣞⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠐⡀⠐⢨⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣦⣌⠄⢂⠄⠄⠄⠳⣝⢞⢮⢯⡳⣝⢮⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠂⠠⠈⣿⣇⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣮⡀⠄⠡⣀⠄⠘⠹⡵⣳⢝⡮⡯⡺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⣀⣿⣿⣆⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠂⣯⡫⣖⣖⢮⣳⣝⢮⣏⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣶⣶⣶⡲⣖⡎⠄⣼⣻⡻⣻⣪⡻⡯⣟⢯⣟⢯⢯⠰⡱⣝⣞⣮⣟⣞⣞⣵⣳⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣾⣵⣥⣜⣷⣕⣯⣳⣳⣽⣝⣞⣗⣽⣽⣝⣵⣯⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

League of Legends

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
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