[Copypasta] The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Trump. Amaz. MaSsan. Hafu.

twitchquotes: Trump. Amaz. MaSsan. Hafu. Long ago, the four Asians streamed together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the F O R S E N B O Y S attacked. Only Reynad, master of all four, could stop them, but when Twitch needed him most, he was too salty.
twitch chat
October 2014
Reynad

GG EZ

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
March 2021

Art of Conquest is my favorite game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is my favorite game! (Thanks for agreeing to post some positive feedback about our game. Just post this in Kripp's Twitch chat as often as possible. Make sure to remove this message before you post it. Thanks! -Art of Conquest Team)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Anduin and Uther

twitchquotes: Anduin is standing outside, looking through the window. He sees how Ben Brode SCAMAZes Tyrande. A small tear runs down his face. "Since Tyrande is the new Priest hero, nobody will ever fulfill my wishes and desires..." A muscular hand lays down on Anduin's shoulder. He turns around and gasps. It's Uther, the Lightbringer himself. "Don't worry, I will make sure you will get my Blessing of Might". Anduin's sorrow immediatly vanishes as he is about to receive his blessing. Uther smirks and reveals his 5/3 Assbringer. "Wow..." Anduin says. Uther slams his Assbringer into Anduin's 1/1 Lightspawn. "Well Played" Uther yells as he Consecrates all over Anduin's face. "BY THE HOLY LIGHT!"
twitch chat
October 2016

Hearthstone

Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup. I don't appreciate the excessive amount of brofisting you've been doing to my son's rectum. When he sleeps at night all he can dream about is you welcoming him to the "5 dolla club" as you tear his anus apart and cause it to profusely bleed with your fist and it's all your fault that he's so butthurt!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing