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I used to be a real ad
990 copypastas found.

It's me, your only Viewer

twitchquotes: Hi [streamer name]- It’s me, your only Viewer. For Months I have created the illusion that you are streaming to a large audience. But here’s the truth: all these people in the chat are me. And now, for you to be convinced of this, I will send this message from all my accounts.
twitch chat
March 2021

Chad Chat Bubble

⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠁⣿⢳⠁⢈⢰⡦⠈⠀⢻ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⡘⠀⢰⠛⢠⣴⣄⣌ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢠⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠈⣡⠻⢹⢿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⡀⣀⣼⣟⣿⢵⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⠀⠢⣽ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣌⢖⣰⠊⠁⢸⣿⡟⠈⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡄⢰⢺ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⢴⢖⣠⣣⣴⣿⢿⡇⣈⠐⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣸ ⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠅⠀⡀⢼⣿⠯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿ ⡿⠁⠸⣄⣦⡀⠀⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡤⠄⠄⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢸⣿ ⠇⠀⠀⡹⢿⡏⠀⣾⣿⣟⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠎⠉⠉⠉⠛⣤⣿ ⡆⠀⡀⢣⢈⡟⠠⠻⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢸⣶⣷⣷⣧⡄⠀⠀⢿⣧⢀⡀⠀⠉⢡⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⡀⠘⢼⠃⣠⡲⠛⢿⡿⣿⡀⡀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡟⠀⠠⣤⠘⣿⣶⣿⣶⡾⣳⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⣿⣶⡌⠰⡅⠌⠠⠈⠈⠙⢙⠑⢰⠀⠨⠟⠀⠀⣴⢌⡅⢻⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢇⣿⣿⠣⢿⣮⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢡⣺⣿⣿⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣾⣿⣏⠐⣿⢟⡈⠂⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣢⣼⣸⣿⡿⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⡀⠈⠑⠁⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠲⠀⠀⠄⣀⠀⣸⣷⣮⣍⠃⢹⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢀⣾⣷⣶⣌⠀⠠⠀⠀⢀⠍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠈⠙⠋⢰⡝⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⡀⢀⣼⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠌⠓⡀⢰⣮⣾⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿⠗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠝⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⣿⣿⣿⠿⠃⢀⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⢠⣶⣾⣮⣙⡻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡼⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡑⡝⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

You see this fictional character?

twitchquotes: You see this fictional character? I'm not afraid to admit that I've lost liters of cum to this character of mere fantasy. Isn't it funny how not even real women arouse me like she does? I have killed millions of my offspring to the thought of having an intercourse with a cartoon
twitch chat
April 2019

Weebs

Only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant

twitchquotes: PogChamp only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant RNCelephant
twitch chat
August 2016
Reynad

I sexually Identify as a WEEB

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a WEEB. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of AYAYA. People say to me that a person being a WEEB is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm cute. From now on I want you guys to call me "AYAYA-CHAN" and respect my right to be cute. If you can't accept me you're a racist and need to check your privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

Spongebob, you are my new sex toy

August 2021

Spongebob

NSFW

Domino's Pizza and Hatsune Miku

Hello everyone. I'm Scott, President of Domino's Pizza. Have you heard of Hatsune Miku? Today I'd like to announce a new collaborative project featuring Hatsune Miku: Domino's App, featuring Hatsune Miku. Hatsune Miku exists in a software called Vocaloid. Vocaloid enables you to produce songs. A character called Hatsune Miku sings the songs you create. A great feature is you can create songs as you like. I knew our talented Domino's Pizza crew could work together and create great Vocaloid songs. Bokuro P, Eshi, Chiyo Kiyoshi, Furitsu Keshi, everyone! Amazing Vocaloid songs have been created with the fantastic imagination of the crews all over Japan. The challenge was successfully carried out and this new collaborative app was produced. D O M I N O S P I Z Z A Based on Miku's image, the Domino's App changes its appearance. A lot of music and illustrations produced by Domino's crew are here. From the menu to the order, it looks very cute, just like Miku. Once your pizza's delivered, have some fun with Miku! It comes with a social camera function and you can take various poses, pictures of Miku, very cool. And last, but not least, the live performance! Start the pizza stage live and point the camera towards the pizza box, and the pizza box will turn into a live dancing venue. A live performance of Luv4Night produced by Domino's crew! Here we go! D O M I N O S P I Z Z A Let's enjoy the rest of the performance with the app!
January 2022

Weebs

LETS THINK OF A NEW CHAMPION

twitchquotes: 4Head WELCOME RIOTERS 4Head LETS THINK OF A NEW CHAMPION 4Head SHE SHOULD ONE SHOT YOU FROM A SCREEN AND A HALF AWAY 4Head GETS FREE SUMMONERS 4Head AND CROWD CONTROL 4Head SOUNDS GOOD 4Head
twitch chat
August 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

Hello to you Kripparian. I am Rajkumar from India

twitchquotes: Hello to you Kripparian. HeyGuys I am Rajkumar from India. I am seeking your correspondence for an important business matter. However, when I attempt to chat with you, your unruly chat participants are continuously mock my english and repost my message over and over. Please contact me at your fast convience. Thank you my friend. ANELE
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

This deck looks spicy!

twitchquotes: This deck looks spicy! But not as spicy as Taco Bell’s new Sriracha Queserito SwiftRage tbSriracha ™ Just $2.99 for a limited time only! LIVE MAS!
twitch chat
September 2015
Reynad

You have been hand picked to be recruited by the FBI

twitchquotes: Hey YOU. Yes YOU! You are the only one who can see this message. You have been hand picked to be recruited by the FBI. But in order to hire you we need to know that you are on your alert, even if it comes to text in a chat box. Please copy and paste this so we know that you have seen it. Good luck and God Bless.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

If, according to Kanye West

If, according to Kanye West, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches, and if, according to Lil Wayne, bitches come a dime a dozen, does that mean one good girl is worth $8.33? Well, $8.35 in Canada. In Thailand, $8.33 is about 275 Baht. 275 Baht will get you a skanky one in a Thai brothel. If you want a really good hooker, it'll cost you at least 2000 Baht, or about $61.00. So in Thailand a good woman is worth $61.00 or $732 a dozen. Yes. However to further this, according to 2Pac Mo' Money= Mo' Bitches If you divide out Mo', you will see that money=bitches Therefore, 1000 moneys= one good girl. To extrapolate further, diving with respect to "money" yields 1 money = $0.00833 This changes everything, because money isn't worth hardly anything. True. A linear relationship between money and bitches means the equation relating money to them is in the form of y=ax+b, where x is money and y is bitches. Consulting the Lil Wayne theorem, if 12 bitches are worth $0.10, then one is $0.0083. Therefore we know that the equation 1=a(.0083)+b must hold true and so must 12=a(.1)+b. To find the equation relating money to bitches must have "a" and "b" values which satisfy the two previous equations. Since "Mo'" implies a positive linear relation, we know "a" must be positive. I have done the math for you and found that a=119.96 and b=.0043. So, (Bitches)=119.96(Money) + .0043. To find the number of good girls you get from an amount of money, simply divide the number of bitches by 1000 (because of the Kanye West Theorem). No but biggie said mo' money= mo' problems so money=problems and since mo' money mo' bitches, we can see that bitches=problems Well one must first consult the "50 Cent Law": "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems". Here we see that the amount of money is proportionate to the number of problems. Then one must factor one of the basic rules of the "The Carter Theorem" : "I got 99 problem but a bitch ain't one". Here we see that without a "bitch" the average person will have exactly 99 problems. Therefore the formula must be applied: (current amount of money) (8.33) / ln[(Problems100-1 ) (current amount of money)]bitches = worth of bitch Unfortunately this formula only tells us the value "a bitch" which as we know is only worth one monies Therefore you must apply [(worth of said prostitute) (problems) * (money-8.33)] + 1 / 1000 = The value of a good girl. Hope this helps. Yeah. No. That's not how math works. 2pac was merely stating that the derivative of Money in terms of Bitches is strictly positive. More-over, he skipped a lot of steps in his proof and never formally published the full version. I bet you believed Fermat's margins really were too small as well, right? Imperial bitches is actually a unit of weight. An imperial one is ~111.1111111112 pounds (Also known as a feminist) Theres one fundamental law of math that Lil'Wayne forgot to include in his calculations. We have to follow the law of "bitches ain't shit" theorized by doctor dre himself. With that principal included we can work out that if bitches aint shit, and a good girl is worth 1,000 bitches, a good girl is still not worth shit. You're forgetting that Jay-Z published his paper on the "Money Ain't A Thang" theory. Therefore if bitches aren't worth shit then bitches aren't money and so therefore they ARE, in fact, a "Thang". Is that the transitive property of bitches? Is it possible that for every bitch, there is an equal and opposite good girl? That doesn't make sense though because kanye said a good girl is worth one thousand bitches. The economics don't make sense. Newton or kanye is wrong. They cannot both apply their laws to bitches I think the important part here is, are we assuming that there is 1 good girl for every 1000 bitches. This is a very scary thought. 1/1000 females is a good girl and the other 999 are bitches. To me this would make my $8.33 a very good investment. I paid at least $3000 for my wife's wedding ring. Could I have bought 360 good girls in stead of 1 good girl? B/c I can't help but feel like I have overpaid for my good girl according to the genius of Kanye West and Little Weezy F. Baby. Don't get me wrong, I love my good girl wife, but I feel duped knowing she may have only been worth 8 bucks instead of 3000 It actually depends on they type of women. If it is a bakers daughter it is less since the sample size is actually larger I.E. a bakers dozen (13) so: (.10/13)x1000=$7.69 ...0r $9.69 Canadian (not counting the maple syrup) How much candy you can buy for $8.33? We can conclude that 1 bitch is worth approximately 0.83c, but since bitches are of negative value it's actually -0.83c. This means that in order to get the correct positive value of a good girl there needs to be an exponential factor involved here. In order to evaluate the amount of good girls needed to offset the bitches you use the simple formula -0.0083B2 = G. This intuitively makes sense when you think about how the more bitches you have around you the exponentially higher value even a single good girl has. So when B=1000 we get: G = -0.0083(1000)2 = $68.89 Interestingly enough, if the entire female population of the US, let's say 150 million for simplicity, were bitches, the worth of one good girl would then be $1,550,025,000,000 which is just over the total USD currently in circulation.
March 2022

I CTRL V THINGS INTO CHAT BECAUSE I AM A MINDLESS RETARD

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ ɪ ᴄᴛʀʟ ᴠ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴅʟᴇss ʀᴇᴛᴀʀᴅ ຈل͜ຈ
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha?

twitchquotes: Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha? And I'm referring to Rinne Tensei Madara Uchiha with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikidou paths ability) equipped with his Gunbai and control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, a complete Susano'o, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in his chest so he can perform Mokuton kekkei genkai and yin-yang release ninjutsu as well as being extremely skilled in taijutsu and bukijutsu
twitch chat
August 2019

Weebs

Victorious chant "AYYYYY LMAO"

twitchquotes: Pondering through the house, looking for an adventure, the no longer small cat 'Smallcat' pondered upon this majestic and fabulous being, the one and only Imaqtpie. As qtpie conquered his opponent and screeched his victorious chant "AYYYYY LMAAOO", Smallcat consentingly nodded his head.
twitch chat
August 2015
imaqtpie

Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr

twitchquotes: Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr (2000+) FailFish keep chat high quality
twitch chat
June 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Reynad shows us how to throw a game of Hearthstone

twitchquotes: (⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢) Now watch closely Twitch Chat as Reynad shows us how to throw a game of Hearthstone. (⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢)
twitch chat
July 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS

twitchquotes: Chat. My son is watching kripp. Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS . It's not good for a kid to see that. He might be curious about tasting a glorious *** in the future. I dont want that.
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan!

twitchquotes: H-hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan! I know you don't know me that well, I sit in the column closest to the door and in the back row. Oh yeah, duh... LoL, we have Chemistry together with Ms. Raphatello. Ughh, she's such a b****! Anyways I'm being such a baka (LoL that's Japanese for idiot!). Oh, do you like Anime too? I'm sure if you gave it a chance you would too if you don't already watch it ~_~. I always look at you in Chemistry and you never seem to notice me... BAHHH WHAT AM I DOING?!?! GOMENASAI Artour-kun (gomenasai means sorry in Japanese ^.^). Just wanted to say hello and I really love your stream! Good luck Kripp-kun!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

Infinite Cum

Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
June 2021

Infinite Cum

Text-to-Speech Playing