[Copypasta] It's me, your only Viewer

twitchquotes: Hi [streamer name]- It’s me, your only Viewer. For Months I have created the illusion that you are streaming to a large audience. But here’s the truth: all these people in the chat are me. And now, for you to be convinced of this, I will send this message from all my accounts.
twitch chat
March 2021
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Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan 🇯🇵 , heart surgeon ❤️👨‍⚕️ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady hand😳✋️. One day, Yakuza boss 🙇🏻need 🆕 heart💘. I do operation🔪⚔️. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😵😪! Yakuza very mad👿. I hide🙈 in fishing boat🐟🚣🏻‍♀️, come to America🎇🎊🇺🇸. No english🤐, no food😩, no money📉🚫💲. Darryl 👨🏿give me job🙌👨🏻‍💼. Now I have house🏡, American car 🚗 , and new woman 🆕👱🏻‍♀️. Darryl 👨🏿save life⛑. My big secret🙊: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good 👍surgeon. The best👌💯!
July 2019

Emoji Pasta

Classic

Hafu is jealous of Rania

twitchquotes: Ｋｒｉｐｐ！！！　Ｉ　ａｍ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｓａｄ　ａｎｄ　ｊｅａｌｏｕｓ　ｔｈａｔ　ｙｏｕ　ａｒｅ　ｌｅｔｔｉｎｇ　ｔｈｉｓ　‘‘ｕｎｄｅｒｆｌｏｗｒ’’　ｈａｖｅ　ａｌｌ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｓａｌｔ　ｅｖｅｒｙ　ｎｉｇｈｔ，　ｐｌｅａｓｅ　ｔａｌｋ　ｔｏ　ｍｅ　ａｇａｉｎ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｍａｄｅ　ｉｎ　ｃｈｉｎａ　ｗｉｆｅ　Ｈａｆｕ　♡♡♡　Ｐｌｚ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙ ｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ ｃｈｉｎｇ ｃｈｏｎｇ　ｐｉｎｇ　ｐｏｎｇ　ｎｉｐｎｏｎｇ ｃｈａｎｇｅｒｉｎｏ ｎｏｏｄｌｅｒｉｎｏ ｂｏｋ ｃｈｏｙ ｋｕｎｇ ｐａｏｒｉｎｏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Doggies can be vegan too

twitchquotes: I am a dog being raised by a very loving family. Or at least I was, until a balding romanian gypsy kidnapped me from my home. Now he doesn't let me go outside and doesn't feed me. Every time I try to tell him I am hungry he puts green leaves in my bowl and says doggies can be vegan too if they try hard enough. I believe this man is mentally disabled. Please send help. OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Fortnite default dance 9

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⣶⣿⣿⠶ ⣶⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤ ⠀⠉⠶⣶⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣤⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠿⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⠀⠶⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠛⠛⠿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣉⠿⣿⠶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛⣭⣭⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣭⣤⣿⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣭ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⠿⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣶
ascii art
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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