[Copypasta] A Reddit comment summarized and compressed

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp, this is Aquaman, King of the Seas

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Aquaman, King of the Seas, and I need your help. The salinity of our oceans has reached an all-time low, and only you, with your incredible salt output, can restore them to their proper levels. The fate of countless species of fish and other marine life rests in your scrawny vegan hands. Lend me your aid and I will reveal the ancient Atlantean cure for male-pattern baldness! Aquaman out!
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April 2018
Kripp

Babe im breaking up with u

twitchquotes: babe, i'm breaking up with you. it's not you, you were poggers. it's me, i'm omegalul. im sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i've just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it's time to end it, no kappa.
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March 2020

Classic

Creepy Clown

⣼⡟⠋⣀⣼⣾⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡘⢹⠄ ⡟⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⣇ ⠁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢵⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢹ ⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄ ⠄⢰⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⢻⣿⠄ ⡄⢸⣯⣥⡴⠒⢊⡁ ⭕ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⠁ ⭕ ⣆⠈⣁⣈⣿⣿⡴ ⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣡⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣆⣤⣾⣬⣭⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢻⡟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠯⠎⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢖⣀⣀⠄⣼⠄ ⢀⠘⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⣴⣿⠏⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣷⣌⠙⠻⢿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣠⡤⠞⡋⡍⠄⠂⠄⠄⣼⣿⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⡁⣾⣹⡍⣁⠐⡆⡇⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣷⡘⢻⣧⣇⡟⢿⢿⠄⢷⢸⡧⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⡹⢹⠸⢣⢈⠘⡇⠘⠈⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⠃⣰⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⠘⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠸⢿⣿⡏⣾⠓⠃⠄⠄⢀⡟⣿⠏⣰⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡞⣼⡿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠿⣝⣿⣿⣦⣤⣭⣥⣤⣤⣶⣾⠿⠋⢀⣼⣿⣿
March 2019

I need help typing

twitchquotes: i need help typing, im new to the americas and i dont know how to english very well can someone help me? pleasew stop spamming chat so i can learn please....without this i wont pass my english class iand ill get deported please...
twitch chat
November 2014
TidesOfTime

Chuck Testa and Cattarian

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparian its me Chuck Testa. I'd personally like to Taxidermize your friend beast Cattarian. "Hey Kripp, it's me Cattarian and I approve of this method!" NOOOOPE it's just me Chuck Testa. Your cat would appreciate being worshiped and praised in the afterlife though. So, lets get that cats body and let me do my hobby.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing