[Copypasta] A Reddit comment summarized and compressed

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

hey there buddy chum pal friend

twitchquotes: hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy...
twitch chat
October 2020

Classic

Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Hello chat I am famous fascist leader, Adolf Hilterino

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ғᴀsᴄɪsᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴀᴅᴏʟғ ʜɪᴛʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀᴛᴇ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴀɢᴀɴᴅᴀ ғɪʟᴍ "sɪᴇɢ ʜᴇɪʟ ʟɪғᴇsᴛʏʟᴇ" ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀɴʜᴀᴍᴍᴇʀ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

You have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin

sigh To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin. Its future applications are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of computing and economics most of its possible functions will go over a typical investor’s head. There’s also Sitoshis’s free market outlook, which is deftly woven into his creation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Robert Malthus, for instance. The shills understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this coin, to realise that it is not just speculation - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Bitcoin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the brilliance in Satoshi’s brilliant programming method - the “Blockchain,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Haber and Stornetta's Merkle trees. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our lord and savior's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes, by the way, i DO have a Bitcoin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Bitcoin

Big eyes NaM

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣟⣻⡍⠉⠉⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣾⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣦⣤⣀⠈⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⣼⣿⡟⠁⠄⢀⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠈⢻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣧⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠾⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣷⠄⠚⢧⠸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢀⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⡀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⢸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⠿⠿⣿⡆⠈⣿⣿⣿⠄⣾⡟⠁⠄⢳⠄⠄⣤⠠⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠸⣿⡀⢀⠽⠁⢀⡿⣿⣿⡄⠹⢿⣦⣤⡾⠄⠄⠉⠄⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⠄⠄⠈⠃⢀⣦⣬⣁⣤⣤⣴⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⠄⠄⢠⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣿⣿⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣤⡲⣸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣀⡈⡟⠛⢛⡛⡛⠻⠦⠅⠪⠽⠬⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣼⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠙⢙⠿⠿⣿⣿⣷⡮⢿⡿⢿⣹⢿⡳⣱⣿⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣜⠦⣬⣛⠶⠶⣶⣷⣶⡶⠠⠘⣣⢉⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⢿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⢞⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣝⣻⠿⠿⣋⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing