My name is Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome!
Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?
Thatβs right, Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome!
I used to be a real ad
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That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?
twitchquotes:
That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. 
He could be a Calvin Klein model. Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry.
He could be a Calvin Klein model. Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry.
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I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing
I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare
twitchquotes:
Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
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you are now manually breathing
twitchquotes:
you are now manually breathing you are now manually blinking you are aware that your tongue cannot find a comfy place in your mouth you are aware of all the itches on your body that need to be scratched
you are now manually breathing you are now manually blinking you are aware that your tongue cannot find a comfy place in your mouth you are aware of all the itches on your body that need to be scratched
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I am a sub with cash
twitchquotes:
Hey you poor, underage trash. ποΈ You know what the symbol next to my name means? Means I am a sub. Means I am a VIP. Means I got cash. π΅ What you got? You got shit. π© You poor non-sub trash ought to pay me and my sub-bros some respect. π― We subbed because we have cash. π΅ Real life jobs, real life credit cards.
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