[Copypasta] A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
February 2021
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Amogus Army

𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Peter Pistachio

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Pᴇᴛᴇʀ Pɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʟᴅ ʜɪɢʜ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴛᴇᴀᴍᴍᴀᴛᴇ. Cᴏᴀᴄʜ Dᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. Iғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏs ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏᴏᴛʙᴀʟʟ ғɪᴇʟᴅ ᴛᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ᴜs ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪᴛ's ᴛᴏ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴘʟᴀʏ Hᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ 100% ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sʟɪᴘ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟs. Mᴀʏʙᴇ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀʀᴅᴄᴏʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ғɪᴠᴇs ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇᴇʀs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ Rᴀɪɴᴀɴᴀ. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄʜɪɴᴏ ɢɪʀʟғʀɪᴇɴᴅ sᴛᴇᴀʟᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Haha Jonathan, You Are Banging My Daughter

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠾⢿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠤⣬⣽⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⢀⣽⣦⡎⠁⠒⠒⢻⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣧⡀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣧⣦⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⣠⣴⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣄⢺⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⠄⡀⠄⣸⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡆⠄⣀⣛⣫⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⠽⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
May 2021

Christian Father is concerned with Fortnite

twitchquotes: Hello everyone, concerned Christian father here. Recently, my 11 year old son downloaded the video game "Fortnite" after playing it at a friend's house. While I didn't mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had taken up hard drugs and smoking. When asked to do his homework, he called me a "default" and did a strange dance. His grades have been dropping heavily ever since that day and now he's threatening me with violence. Yesterday I entered his room to see him smoking a cigar and playing extremely loud rave (sinner) music, he has dyed his hair blue and neow refuses to go to Bible Study unless we "take the battle bus". I don't know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transport except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
twitch chat
January 2019

Fortnite

My son can be homer sexual

twitchquotes: My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️‍🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻‍
twitch chat
January 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing