[Copypasta] A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
February 2021
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Harambe Fresh Prince of Bel Air

twitchquotes: In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where i spent most of my days, Chillin out hanging out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool, When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood, I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper got scared, heard a gun shot just before I stopped breathing air...
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Harambe

My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

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Hey Reynad, King of Nigeria here

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, King of Nigeria here. Through generations of inbreeding, my family tree now looks more like a family reef. The genetic defects are getting out of hand. My grandson was just born with a giant donger on his head. How will this affect my reign?
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Reynad

i graduated top of my class from burger king

twitchquotes: you fucking vegan, ill have you know i graduated top of my class from burger king university in burger flipping and have flipped over 9000 burgers in my day you dumb vegan, but you wouldn't know that would you you soy muncher? If you said that to my face I would be flipping patties all over your vegan face and you'd be full of my meat before you even knew what was happening.
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Kripp

forsenWTF

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣈⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣠⣤⢀⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠙⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠸⠿⠁⠄⠧⠄⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠤⢤⣄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⡆⣿⣿⣿⡗⠂⣤⠄⠄⠈⠆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⢿⣿⣿⣷⠸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⡾⠁⠈⠉⠝⢀⡀⠄⡀⡰⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠦⠄⠄⠐⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⢀⣼⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⢿⣷⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡌⣿⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢻⣿⣆⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠛⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

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