[Copypasta] A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says β€œSorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
February 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Champion M&M

twitchquotes: Sometimes, whenever i eat M&Ms, i like to hold two m&ms in between my fingers and squeeze as hard as i can until one m&m cracks. I eat the cracked one and the one that didn't crack becomes champion, then i grab another m&m and force it to compete with the champion in this deadly game of m&m gladiators. I do this until i run out of m&ms, and when there is one left standing i send a letter to m&ms brand with the champion in it and a note attached that reads "please use this m&m for breeding purposes"
twitch chat
August 2014

Flex Tape

twitchquotes: To show you the power of Flex Tape, I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF and repaired it with only Flex Tape. Not only does Flex Tape's powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong, water-tight seal so the inside is completely dry. YEE DOGGIE! Just cut, peel, stick, and seal. Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
twitch chat
August 2018

I can't believe it's already MLK eve

πŸ’I CAN'T πŸ•Ά BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY πŸ’ƒMπŸ‘L πŸ‘K πŸ‘ πŸ—£ EVE!! TONIGHT πŸŒ› WE WILL GATHER πŸ‘ͺ WITH OUR FAMILIES❀ NOT ONLY TO PRAYπŸ™ TO MLK πŸ‘AND LET HIM KNOWπŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ WHAT GIFTS🎁 WE WOULD 😚LIKE πŸ˜™ TO RECEIVEπŸ† ON MLK DAY 🌞 BUT TO REMEMBER πŸ˜‚ THAT MLK❀ IS THE REAL REASON 🎢 FOR 🎡THE 🎢 SEASONβœ” SEND THIS TO TEN OTHER TRUE MLK FANSπŸ’― OR YOUR BROTHERS πŸ™‹ AND SISTERSπŸ™† WILL BE FOREVER OPPRESSED πŸ˜”
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

MLK Day

Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

neverlucky

Undertale Sans full body

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ο»Ώβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
February 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing