[Copypasta] A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
February 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me “Windows Update 10.0.10586” and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
May 2016

I sexually Identify as

YOINK

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢻⣿⠟⢉⣀⣤⠞⠁⠀⣠⣴⣶⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠐⠋⠁⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⣀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣷⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀⣠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⣠⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⡾⠁⣠⠴⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠛⢿⣿⡿⠛⣿⡿⠟⠛⠻⢿⣿⡿⠛⢿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⠛⢿⣿⠟⢻⣿⡿⠛⢻ ⣿⡄⠈⡿⠁⢰⣿⠀⢰⣷⡆⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡟⠁⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⠀⢠⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⢰⡀⠹⠀⢸⣿⠀⠈⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢠⣷⡀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⣀⣿⣿⣿⣤⣈⣉⣁⣴⣇⣀⣸⣿⣀⣸⣿⣇⣀⣸⣿⣀⣸⣿⣧⣀⣹⣿
April 2019

Sneaky and Meteos fan fic

twitchquotes: "zach, i can't do this anymore!" meteos cries from his side of the bed. sneaky's eyes widen in shock at the sudden outburst "w-what do you mean, will?" "i'm tired of being your side piece," he cries, "i want to be your one and only." the younger man's face flushes. "will," he starts. "i love you." he digs through the night stand and pulls out a ring. "will you marry me?" "yes!" meteos cries out with joy. he plants a kiss on his lover's cheek, full of tenderness. they are pure passion incarnate.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head 🍷

twitchquotes: 5Head Aha, I see, i have calculated this equation of where my enemy can and will go. The numbers are almost 85.1829% chance that they will go right over my crosshair, thus leading my equation into the correct mathematical path into my favor with the proceeding 1 kill or so. The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head 🍷
twitch chat
July 2019

Somebody I used to know

twitchquotes: I hate when people quote songs in their spam... it reminds me of Somebody I Used to Know
twitch chat
March 2015
Text-to-Speech Playing