[Copypasta] In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

From the office: https://theoffice.fandom.com/wiki/Hidetoshi_Hasagawa
I used to be a real ad
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Just taking Reynad for a walk

twitchquotes: ╭( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲_____ PJSalt Oh, don't mind me, just taking Reynad for a walk.
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Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
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STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US!

STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! My friends on TikTok send me memes, on Discord its fucking memes. I was in a server, right, and ALL the channels are just Among Us stuff. I showed my Champion underwear to my girlfriend, and the logo I flipped it and I said "Hey babe, when the underwear sus! HAHA! Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding DiDiDing!" I fucking looked at a trash can and I said "Thats a bit sussy!" I looked at my penis, I thought of the astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PEN-SUS!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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NA is so ba... I should brush my teeth

twitchquotes: SMOrc NA is so ba... SMOrc maybe i should brush my teeth SMOrc NA is s... SMOrc maybe i should floss SMOrc fk give me dentures SMOrc
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Kripp

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Attention all Fortnite gamers

twitchquotes: Attention all Fortnite gamers: John Wick is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the squads in the Tilted Towers, but to do this he needs a golden scar and a couple of chug jugs. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so John Wick can secure the bag and achieve the epic Victory Royal!
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November 2018

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