[Copypasta] In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas

NA ULT LUL

twitchquotes: Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Overwatch

Just a feller out on the farm

β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β »β‘Ώβ ›β ›β ›β ›β »β’Ώβ‘Ώβ ƒβ €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑄⑇⠀⠀ KKona β €β ˆβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣧⣇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣢⣷⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⠀⣠⣀⒀⣀⣠⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀ β’°β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ›β ›β ›β ›β »β£Ώβ£·β €β € β£Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ›β ›β ›β »β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β£Ώβ‘·β € ⠻Ⓙ⣿⑏⠀⠀⣢⠀⠀Ⓕ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⣀ ⠀⠀Ⓓ⣷⑀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣿⣿⣉⑉⠉⠉⠉⠉⒙⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣼⣿⠛⠓ β €β ˆβ ›β ›β ›β “β ’β šβ ›β ›β ›β ›β ›β ‹β ™β ›β ›β ›β ›β Ÿβ Ώβ ·β Άβ Άβ Ύβ Ώβ’Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώ Don't mind me, just a feller out on the farm.
March 2019

Classic

Malta vs Penguins

This does not change the fact that in Antarctica there are 21 million penguins and in Malta there are 502,653 inhabitants. So if the penguins decide to invade Malta, each Maltese will have to fight 42 penguins.
May 2021

Classic

Kripp's gotta hit up the bathroom

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom" He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a swift kick down the stairs. As Dex yelps loudly in pain, Kripp overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this game!" as loudly as he can. Rania tries to calm him down, but Kripp swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Kripp wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

Classic

Poop

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░▐▐░░░░░░░░░▄░▐░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░▐░▄▄▀░░░░ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–„TSM▄░░░▐▄▄▄▀░░░
June 2016
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing