[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Hey Moon it's your dad, Steve

twitchquotes: Hey Moon it's your dad, Steve, I just wanted to know if you have anything to tell me bud? I noticed you've been hanging out with Lassiz a lot and just wanted to let you know those feeling are fine. Your bodies changing and you may start getting funny feelings for other boys. Just remember to use protection and be safe. I'm proud of you bud.
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bro i’m more japan than you

twitchquotes: bro are you disrespecting my japanese culture bro i’m more japan than all of you because i watch anime and you don’t, i bet you don’t even know what Naruto is you degenerate. So before you message me acting like you know my culture maybe check yourself first
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twitchquotes: Hi, my name is Artour Babaev, I was born on south russia, in a small farm of Salt, my entire life was all about salt, I would farm salt with my father rino, in fact, my life was so full of salt, my friends named me "PPD", until some gang of Spooky Scary Skeletons killed him. To this day, I vowed to kill all skeltons to avenge my father, dont cpy pastarino my storyno
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Noggin Clontith and Amogus

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monkaEyes

⣀⣾⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠤⠄ ⣿⣿⣧⣭⣿⣿⣋⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄🔴 ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ 🔴 ⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣴⣾⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡶⠋
June 2019

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing