[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I’m a simple guy

I’m a simple guy. I don’t know about all these fancy “financial instruments” or “market dynamics” or “where the clit is.” I like the stock, I buy the stock.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Anduin and Uther

twitchquotes: Anduin is standing outside, looking through the window. He sees how Ben Brode SCAMAZes Tyrande. A small tear runs down his face. "Since Tyrande is the new Priest hero, nobody will ever fulfill my wishes and desires..." A muscular hand lays down on Anduin's shoulder. He turns around and gasps. It's Uther, the Lightbringer himself. "Don't worry, I will make sure you will get my Blessing of Might". Anduin's sorrow immediatly vanishes as he is about to receive his blessing. Uther smirks and reveals his 5/3 Assbringer. "Wow..." Anduin says. Uther slams his Assbringer into Anduin's 1/1 Lightspawn. "Well Played" Uther yells as he Consecrates all over Anduin's face. "BY THE HOLY LIGHT!"
twitch chat
October 2016

Hearthstone

This new spam is too spicy for this casual chat

twitchquotes: tbSpicy THIS tbSpicy NEW tbSpicy SPAM tbSpicy IS tbSpicy TOO tbSpicy SPICY tbSpicy FOR tbSpicy tbSpicy THIS tbSpicy CASUAL tbSpicy CHAT tbSpicy DONT tbSpicy YOU tbSpicy DARE tbSpicy COPY tbSpicy IT tbSpicy
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

2021 fireworks

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⣦⠤⠀⠀⠉⢏⠀⠠⣤⣦⠄⠀⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⠹⠛⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⠀⠀⠉⠈⠐⢄⠀⠀⠈⢆⠀⠉⡏⠀⠰⠁⠀⠀⠠⠊⠀⠀⠠⢤⣦⡤⠀⠀ ⠘⠛⠋⠒⠂⠤⢀⠀⠁⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠣⢤⣦⡤⠀⠁⠀⡀⠤⠒⠉⠈⠈⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣶⡄⠀⣀⣀⠀⠙⠛⢋⡀⠀⠀⡸⠉⠁⠀⠀⣁⡀⠠⠤⠄⠾⠷⠂⠀⠀ ⣀⣤⣀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠁⢤⣶⡄⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⣀⣠⣀ ⠘⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠄⠂⠀⡠⠀⠀⠀⠐⢄⠀⠀⠂⠠⠄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⠉⠁⠀⢀⣄⠞⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠑⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢳⣾⡖⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠃⠀⠠⣴⣦⠄⠀⠈⠝⠛⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠁⠈⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣶⣿⠟⢻⣿⡄⠀⢠⣾⡿⠛⠿⣷⡄⠀⢰⣾⡿⠛⣿⣧⠀⠀⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⢀⣠⣼⣿⠃⠀⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠀⠀⠁⣀⣴⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀⠀⢀⣿⡟⠀⢀⣾⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⠿⠀⠘⢿⣷⣶⣿⠟⠁⠀⢸⣿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠇⠀⣶⣿
ascii art
January 2021

Iron Man

░░░░░░░██████████████████░░░░░░░ ░░░░████▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓███░░░░░ ░░░██▓▓█▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓█▓▓█░░░░ ░░██████████▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██████████░░ ░░██──────███████████───────██░░ ░███───────██▓▓▓▓▓▓█────────███░ ░████───────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█───────████░ ░█▓██───────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█───────██▓█░ ░██▓█───────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█───────█▓██░ ████▓█──────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█──────█▓████ █▓██▓█──────▀██████▀──────█▓██▓█ █▓██▓█────────────────────█▓██▓█ █▓████────────────────────████▓█ █▓██▀──────────────────────▀██▓█ █▓██──█▀▀▀▀▄▄──────▄▄▀▀▀▀█──██▓█ ███───█─────▀██▄▄██▀─────█───███ ░██───▀█▄▄▄▄█▀────▀█▄▄▄▄█▀───██░ ░███────────────────────────███░ ░░█▓█──────────────────────█▓█░░ ░░█▓▓█────────────────────█▓▓█░░ ░░█▓▓▓█──────────────────█▓▓▓█░░ ░░█▓▓▓█──────────────────█▓▓▓█░░ ░░█▓▓▓▓█▄──────────────▄█▓▓▓▓█░░ ░░░█▓▓█▀█──▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄──█▀█▓▓█░░░ ░░░░█▓█─▀▄▄▀────────▀▄▄▀─█▓█░░░░ ░░░░░█▓█─────▄▄▄▄▄▄─────█▓█░░░░░ ░░░░░░█▓█▄▄▄██▓▓▓▓██▄▄▄█▓█░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░█▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓█░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░████████████████░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
ascii art
September 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing