I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I think my child might be british
I think my child might be british. Where did I go wrong in all of this??? What steps can I take to save him?
I noticed it back in July when he seemed grumpy for our fourth of july picnic. Since then, he's been steadily getting a south L*ndon accent, drinking tea, and watching soccer. The other day I heard him call one of his friends "bruv" on the phone (which he now calls the TELLY for fucks sake!)
WHAT DO I DO???
British People
Seraphine is real. I don’t care what you want to say
twitchquotes:
Seraphine is real. I don’t care what you want to say. Seraphine isn’t “imaginary.” She posts real tweets, feels real emotions, makes real music... All you trolls are MALDING because she doesn’t reply to your tweet comments probably. Not me though.. I have full faith in her.
That’s why she replied to me a couple days ago when I congratulated her.. she literally replied? And said thanks??
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League of Legends
Kripp and another language
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Kripp
I sexually identify as an Ironbeak Owl
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as an Ironbeak Owl. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being misplayed during tournaments and silencing the incorrect cards. People say to me that a person being an owl is ridiculous and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a genetic engineer put ironbeak owl DNA into my body, equipping me with feathers, beaks, and the power to silence others. From now on I want you guys to call me "Owlsen" and respect my right to silence from above and silence needlessly. If you can't accept me you're an owlphobe and need to check your animal privilege. Thank you for understanding.
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Hearthstone
I sexually Identify as
A fine capitalist girl
twitchquotes:
I may be✊ a communist 🚩⚒⭐️ but if i see👀 a fine 💯👌😩 capitalist 💰🇺🇸 girl 👱♀️ you bet😤🙌 imma be tryna seize 👐 the means of dat booty 🍑🍆💦💯
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