[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here. I finally see that you got your vegan bitch ass to work. Remember, you're forced by contract to show off this game in all its splendor. And not only I'm paying you with a fuckton of money, but you also might get your wife back soon enough. So you better start getting some kills and play decently, or you will have to say goodbye to your midget dog. Happy gaming.
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

sellout

I dropped my bag of Le Meme

twitchquotes: <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< Oh sorry, I dropped my bag of ℒℯ ℳℰℳℰ <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><<>< <>< <>< <>< <><
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Hello Kripp, it's me Timothy

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛ's ᴍᴇ, ᴛɪᴍᴏᴛʜʏ. ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴍᴇ? ʏᴏᴜ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʟʟʏ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɢʀᴇᴡ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ . ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴡ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇғᴇɴᴅ ᴍʏ ʜᴏɴᴏʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀ** (ง'̀-'́)ง
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Mario Party Superstars Bowser Miss Sticker

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⢟⣽⣿⢰⡝⣍⡻⣿⠟⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣊⡛⢍⣪⣥⣟⠗⢏⣼⣿⡟⢱⣮⠙⠛⠉⠠⣄⠀⠀⢧⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⢈⡉⠉⠓⠲⠖⣻⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡃⠀⠘⠋⠀⠀⠶⠆⠈⢫⣎⡞⣩⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣭⣭⣝⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⢠⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⡀⠀⢟⡜⠿⣜⠟⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠇⢀⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠇⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡆⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣮⠻⢛⣋⡵⠀⢆⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡹⣽⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠘⠇⠀⠀⠀⠙⠁⣼⣿⣯⢉⠙⢿⣿⡇⡀⠻⠧⢀⣠⣤⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢫⣮⣙⡻⠿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣦⢄⣴⣶⢦⣄⣴⣶⣿⣿⠧⡀⢀⢸⣿⡇⢁⣬⣾⡸⣿⣿⡎⠀⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣆⣀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣄⠀⢀⢸⣿⡸⢿⣧⠻⡿⣎⠑⠃⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣮⡛⠿⣿⣿⠇⠙⠛⠉⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠈⠛⠽⠆⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣝⣳⢲⡦⠀⠀⠀⠈⢲⡎⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⡹⣂⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⠿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣠⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡛⠿⣿⡷⠏⣅⠀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣬⣭⣍⢻⡿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⡿⢷⣟⣭⣭⣵⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⡸⡟⡀⢻⡟⢻⡟⣛⣻⡟⣛⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣇⢡⡇⢸⡇⢸⡗⠆⣹⡗⠆⣹⡗⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2022

Pornhub's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is the administrator of PornHub™ we have noticed you haven’t logged in for 2 weeks, we’re just checking to see if everything is okay and we’ve prepared you a list of videos from your favourite category (Asian). See you soon!
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing