I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
NFL football teams allow kickers that just miss
twitchquotes:
I’ll never understand how college and NFL football teams allow kickers that just.... miss... kicks. I feel like there has to be pools of kickers in the USA that won’t miss simple kicks. Or snappers that won’t mess the snaps idk man it seems so SILLY. Would love opinions on this.
twitch chat
Robinhood halts trading on President's Day
This is bullshit. I’m disgusted and I’m honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time it’s halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders aren’t going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dad’s wife’s girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and I’m seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. I’m low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. She’s giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates it’s still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. It’s time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. It’s 2021 you bigots.
WallStreetBets
Tannerina Tanners girlfriend
twitchquotes:
Hey it’s me Tanner I just wanted to apologize for always coming here and being mean to you. I shouldn’t have been so mean back in high school and I’m really sorry. HAH JUST KIDDING it’s Tannerina Tanners girlfriend, you really think he would ever apologize to you? I’m off to the nail salon catch ya later
twitch chat
Tanner from High School
Under the sea
twitchquotes:
🎵Under the sea🎵 🎵Under the sea🎵 🧜Darling it's better 
Down where it's wetter 🌊 Take it from 🦀me 😍 Up 
on the 🏖 shore they 👔work all day😅 Out in the 🌞sun they slave away 💦While we devotin' 🐠 Full time to floatin 🏊🏽 🎵Under the sea🎵
Down where it's wetter 🌊 Take it from 🦀me 😍 Up on the 🏖 shore they 👔work all day😅 Out in the 🌞sun they slave away 💦While we devotin' 🐠 Full time to floatin 🏊🏽 🎵Under the sea🎵
twitch chat
Let's. Make. Some. Pasta.
twitch chat
Reynad