[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Equal rights equal fights

I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg. So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
May 2022

OFFICIAL BRUH MOMENT

twitchquotes: ⛔EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM⛔ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ HAS ISSUED AN OFFICIAL .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 🔴🔴BRUH MOMENT🔴🔴
twitch chat
July 2019

Hitler speech bubble

⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠶⠿⠟⠛⠻⠛⠳⠶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣖⠶⢶⣤⡀⠀⠈⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣴⣿⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿⢿⣷⡀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⡾⠉⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢦⡀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀ ⣷⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⡀⢸⡇⠀⠀ ⢻⡜⡄⠀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣶⡄⣴⣾⣿⣛⣓⠀⠀⣧⢸⣇⠀⠀ ⢈⣧⣧⠀⢩⠞⠿⠿⠻⠀⠘⠙⠃⠛⠛⠓⠀⣿⣻⠿⣷⠀ ⢸⡵⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣇⡟⠀ ⠘⢧⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⣤⣤⣶⣗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⣽⠁⠀ ⠀⠈⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⣇⠀⠀⠰⠋⠉⠙⠂⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣼⡅⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏⢻⣤⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡷⢦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⡾⠃⠀⠘⡿⠙⢶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⡷⣤⡀⠈⠉⠉⢁⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀
August 2021

Absolutely appalled at it, 12 mins or so of pure shit

December 2020

Belle Delphine

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. It’s a 🏳️‍🌈🐻 legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation… He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… transitory. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
May 2022

WallStreetBets

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