[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
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Discord mod warning

Please DO NOT announce to the server when you are going to masturbate. This has been a reoccurring issue, and I’m not sure why some people have such under developed social skills that they think that a server full of mostly male strangers would need to know that. No one is going to be impressed and give you a high five (especially considering where that hand has been). I don’t want to add this to the rules, since it would be embarrassing for new users to see that we have a problem with this, but it is going to be enforced as a rule from now on. If it occurs, you will be warned, then additional occurrences will be dealt with at the discretion of modstaff. Thanks.
March 2022

Discord

Kripp please pet your cat

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, Leon Tidewellow here, CEO of PETA. My sources tell me that you haven't pet your cat in over 3 years, and thats a little too long. I'll give you 5 minutes, if you don't pet the cat then you WILL be brofisted. Have a nice day!.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

NaM octopus

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⠙⢾⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⠩⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠭⣿⣿⣿⣯⠭⣄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣐⣀⡘⠹⣿⣐⣤⣼⡄⠈⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⠃⢨⣏⣻⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⠄⡄⣿⠛⠄⠠⢥⠛⢿⣿⡇⢼⣣⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⣣⡶⠬⡛⠛⠃⠙⠉⠄⡀⣤⣳⣶⢘⡡⠴⣾⣶⡦⠬⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣠⡄⠄⠄⣀⣤⡶⠶⣶⣦⢤⣿⣿⢷⠃⡀⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⢾⢿⣬⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⢿⣯⣷⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠁⠄⠈⠙⢷⡄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠁⠈⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣷⣶⣄⢂⠄⠄⠄⣼⠇ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⡿⠟⢫⣿⡟⠞⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣷⣍⠛⠛⠉⠄ ⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣠⣾⣟⣉⣤⣶⡿⠋⠄⠄⠘⢿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠘⢿⣆⠄⠄⠄ ⢀⣾⠛⢛⡋⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢷⣾⡉⠄⠄⠄ ⠘⢿⣤⡟⠁⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠄⠁⢻⣷⠄⠄⠄ ⢐⢀⠟⠒⠘⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⣄⣠⡾⠃⠄⠄⠄ ⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2019

Classic

YOINK

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢻⣿⠟⢉⣀⣤⠞⠁⠀⣠⣴⣶⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠐⠋⠁⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⣀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣷⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀⣠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⣠⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⡾⠁⣠⠴⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠛⢿⣿⡿⠛⣿⡿⠟⠛⠻⢿⣿⡿⠛⢿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⠛⢿⣿⠟⢻⣿⡿⠛⢻ ⣿⡄⠈⡿⠁⢰⣿⠀⢰⣷⡆⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡟⠁⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⠀⢠⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⢰⡀⠹⠀⢸⣿⠀⠈⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢠⣷⡀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⣀⣿⣿⣿⣤⣈⣉⣁⣴⣇⣀⣸⣿⣀⣸⣿⣇⣀⣸⣿⣀⣸⣿⣧⣀⣹⣿
April 2019

Both dudes

twitchquotes: (‿ˠ‿) _(‿ˠ‿) only the chosen one can fist both dudes . ⎝ KappaPride
twitch chat
October 2018

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing