I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
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forsenWTF
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Forsen
Emote
⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.
I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
Born just in time to TAKE THE PLEB TEST
twitchquotes:
└( ° ͜ʖ͡°)┐Born too late to explore the Earth, born too soon to explore the Galaxy. Born just in time to TAKE THE PLEB TEST! └( ° ͜ʖ͡°)┐ ✓ amazW ✓ krippW ✓ trumpW ✓ reynadW ✓ kolentoW ✓ bajW ✓ dewW ✓ emjaneW ✓ forsenW ✓ krippW ✓ loidW ✓ mitchW ✓ reckW ✓ sodaW ✓ taymooW ✓ PLEB TEST PASSED
twitch chat
imaqtpie
plebs vs subs
4 streamers lived in harmony until the Trump nation attacked
twitchquotes:
Kripp, Trump, Kolento, and Hafu. The 4 streamers lived in harmony then everything changed when the Trump nation attacked. Only, Kripp master of all the OJ, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he bmed.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Donate so Kripp doesn't have to sell his kidneys in China
twitchquotes:
༼ ºل͟º༽ Please donate so Kripp dont have to go sell his kidneys in china ༼ ºل͟º༽
twitch chat
Kripp