[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Ditto

⠀⠀⠀⢠⡜⠛⠛⠿⣤⠀⠀⣤⡼⠿⠿⢧⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⡶⠎⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠶⠶⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⠹⢆⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⡿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠶⠶⠶⠶⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢣⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠛⣧⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠛⣧⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡼⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠿⢇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠶⠶⢆⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢣⣤ ⠀⣶⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⠀⠿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣸⠿ ⠀⠀⠙⢳⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡞⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣶⣶⣶⣶⡞⠛⠃⠀
September 2020

Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020

Applejack

▓▓▓▓▓░▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓░▐▌░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▒░░▌░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓ ▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓ ▓▓▒░░░░░░▀▀███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▓▓▒░░░░░▌▄████▌░░▒▒▒▒▓ ▓▓▒▒░░░░███▄█▌░░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▒▒▒░░.’.░▀▀▀▀░░░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▐▄░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
November 2014

Donate so Kripp doesn't have to sell his kidneys in China

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༽ Please donate so Kripp dont have to go sell his kidneys in china ༼ ºل͟º༽
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

I meet Nigerian Princess on Internet

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp. You say you welly unlucky last few days. I've been unlucky last few years. But ever since i start watch your stream last week my luck improve. I meet nigerian princess on internet who promise me 100 billion usd and a full golden Ragnaros
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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