[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
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Soyjak Pointing

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July 2022

Clean All The Things

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September 2021

AngelThump

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠦⣄⠀⣠⠖⠋⠉⠉⠉⠛⢦⣀⡤⠒⠲⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠀⠈⣿⡅⢉⣦⣀⣀⡀⡂⢰⣿⡄⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⡠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠘⠛⠃⠙⠛⠃⠙⠓⢁⡇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⠑⠦⢄⠀ ⠀⠛⠤⠤⣔⢁⡴⠧⠚⠉⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠞⠉⠁⠑⠚⠢⠤⠕⠚⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠙⠓⠒⠒⠚⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

I Salute the donger lord for he is our KING!

twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

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