I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
I used to be a real ad
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Mona Lisa
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Thinking of the greatest Hearthstone player
twitchquotes:
Sometimes, late at night when I am under my covers, I touch my stealth donger and think of the greatest hearthstone player, the very best there ever was, then in a desperate attempt to not fap i think of Kripp, and that's it, donger is gone, i whisper "casual" and go back to sleep.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hi I'm Reynad, I run a website called Tempo Storm...
twitchquotes:
Hi I'm Reynad, I run a website called Tempo Storm where I post decklists for Hearthstone players to peruse. Don't you dare use them though, or I'll insult you for playing the decks I posted online
twitch chat
Reynad
Hearthstone
You guessed it right, I'm SUMMIT1G
twitchquotes:
MY GRAGAS IS BAD MY CHO'GATH IS FREE YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT IM SUMMIT1G
MY GRAGAS IS BAD MY CHO'GATH IS FREE YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT IM SUMMIT1G
twitch chat
Summt1g
League of Legends
They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger
They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger. Since then I have been circumcised every 6 months. My foreskin is now stronger than steel. When I am in danger, I pull it over my body like an outer shell. It is fully bulletproof, fireproof, waterproof and extremely lightweight. I have plans to sell it as a highly rare, resistant material and make millions. Brigades will be made out of beams of foreskin, and police units will wear foreskin vests.