I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
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More Copypastas
later dweebs
twitchquotes:
wow! almost 16k people sitting inside watching some dude play video games on Memorial Day LMAO. bout to hit the pool with some dime I matched on tinder and her friends to play beerpong. she wants me so bad its not even funny haha. not gonna smash til i get something to eat tho cause sex kills gains. have fun watching the stream i guess lol. later dweebs
twitch chat
SAVE THE INTERNET
twitchquotes:
"SAVE THE INTERNET" refers to the imminent removal of net neutrality, which requires Internet Service Providers (ISPs) to treat the provision of internet service as a UTILITY not a LUXURY, thereby requiring them to provide it FAIRLY to EVERYONE, and not just people/businesses who pay premiums to receive the same service as before. It also restricts them from unfairly throttling speeds and access to specific websites. If net neutrality is abolished, Twitch will be inaccessible to most Americans.
twitch chat
Reynad wakes up after the final night of Blizzcon
twitchquotes:
Reynad wakes up after the final night of Blizzcon. "Never lucky", he says. "I wouldn't say that", says a voice to his side. Reynad rolls over and to his surprise, it's a hot grill. "Wow! How did I manage this?", he asks. "You are very persuasive", purrs the grill. "What's your name?" Reynad asks. "Chat calls me Scamaz", Scamaz laughs as he pulls off his wig.
twitch chat
Reynad
Pokimane love you
Pokimane love you. I truly love you, You fill the void in my heart and stop the pain. really need you in my life, you complete me. would do everything for you, would sacrifice everything just to be able to spend a day with you, do everything please give me a chance.
Pokimane
Simps
what's a fella gotta do to get some apple juice?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢀⣤⠖⢋⡤⠊⠁⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣦⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠁⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⣫⣶⣿What's⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿a⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢀⣿fella⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠈⠻⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣾⣿gotta⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣀⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⣤⡀⠀⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀
⠀⢸⣿⣿do⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢸⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀
⠀⣼⣿⣿around⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀
⠀⢸⣿⣿here⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠋⠀⠀⣀⡈⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀
⠀⢸⣿⣿to⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⠾⠛⣿⡶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢿⣿get⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠳⣄⣀⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢀
⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿some⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣭⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣴⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿apple juice?⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣶⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿