[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
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2 crewmates with long legs

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November 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Young pistachio becomes grand old cashew

twitchquotes: Let me tell you a story. I was once a young pistachio like you. But then I saw the light. I saw the kripp and let the kripp into my life. Now I am a grand old cashew with a pepperoni plantation to boot. Don't make the mistake I once did and deny the kripp. Kripp is love. Kripp is life. Praise the Kripp. Amen.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Elon Musk could've given $5 billion to everyone in the world

Musk poured $44 billion into Twitter. The global population is 8 billion people. He could have given $5 billion to each individual and still had money left over. Most people's lives would be changed if they received a $5 billion check. But he squandered it all on Twitter.
July 2022

Thomas the Tank Engine

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣷⣿⣿⠿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣾⢟⣭⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠩⢒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣸⣸⣯⣻⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠈⡉⠙⠄⠀⠐⠉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢀⣠⣤⡤⠒⠺⠛⢄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠁⠀⠤⠤⠤⠂⣹⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣧⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣽⡿⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⠉⠑⠛⠀⠄⠀⠙⠛⢿⣿⡿⠿⢿⠿⢿⣿⠛⠛⠛⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣿⣆⣀⣸⣀⣘⣿⣀⣀⣀⣸⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀ ⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
January 2019

Did you just really use a copypasta to respond to me?

Wow, WOW. Did you just really use a copypasta to respond to me? Instead of giving a proper response or ending the conversation like a sane person, you just use a copypasta and think you're a smartass? Guess what, i'm the one who is smart and you are the one who is an ass; because you just think copy and pasting something will get you to be in 1st place. Fucking speak to people properly instead of using one of those shitty lines of text.
October 2021
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