I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
𝓑𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓘 𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓮𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓶𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓪𝓰𝓮 𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓵. 𝓘𝓽 𝓮𝔁𝓬𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓼 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓶 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓪 𝓬𝓸𝓬𝓴 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓮, 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽, 𝓬𝓸𝓬𝓴 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓼𝓸𝓸𝓷.