[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Sneaky's bad TFT advice

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Zachary. My name is Inigo Montoya and you killed my chances of making it to Top 4. I listened to your advice when you said that Cavalier comp is “LIT.” Every time I play it I get a fast 8th. For that reason, Mr. Scuderi, prepare to die.
twitch chat
May 2021
Sneaky

Teamfight Tactics

Anime girl stare

⠄⣾⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⢠⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⠁⡇⢸⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⡇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡀⣿⣿⡿⠸⡇⣸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡿⠷⠄⠿⠿⠿⠟⠓⠰⠘⠿⣿⣿⡈⣿⡇⢹⡟⠰⠦⠁⠈⠉⠋⠄⠻⢿⣿ ⢨⡑⠶⡏⠛⠐⠋⠓⠲⠶⣭⣤⣴⣦⣭⣥⣮⣾⣬⣴⡮⠝⠒⠂⠂⠘⠉⠿⠖⣬ ⠈⠉⠄⡀⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠈⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠁⣀⣤⣤⣠⡀⠄⡀⠈⠁ ⠄⠠⣾⡀⣾⣿⣧⣼⣿⡿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⢀⣿⡇⠄ ⡀⠄⠻⣷⡘⢿⣿⣿⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣜⢿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣾⠟⢁⠈ ⢃⢻⣶⣬⣿⣶⣬⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣷⣾⣾⢣ ⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠘ ⣿⡐⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢠⢃ ⣿⣷⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢀⠆⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠠⠂⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢵⢠⣈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⡁⢰⠏⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⡄⢢⠨⠄⣯⠄⠄⣌⣉⠛⠻⠟⠛⢋⣉⣤⠄⢸⡇⣨⣤⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
April 2021

Weebs

I'm a teacher but I'm treated like I'm a streamer

twitchquotes: I'm a teacher, middle school ages, we have a gaming club in our school. Most of the kids are vocal about watching Twitch, who their favorite streamers are and when playing games the would suggest who to watch to get better at a game, e.g. watch Hashinshin to improve at League etc. Now when the kids come to the gaming club they no longer ask about games, they all just chant 'Miss, get your tits out, get your tits out, get your tits out for the lads' or 'Miss, I'll pay you a dollar to show me your feet' or 'Miss, how much too see your butthole' or 'Miss, I'll gift 50 subs if you get your tits out now' or 'Miss, the lads need those big juicy milf titties out' or 'Miss, get your tits out or I'll bring a gun to school tomorrow'. It's getting a bit tiresome, will Twich Tv ever do anything about this epidemic?
twitch chat
April 2021

I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020

New positive chat with kripp'

twitchquotes: ヽ(◕‿◕✿)ノ ☑ “This guy's deck is well chosen!” ☑ "He had the skill and the heart of the cards!" ☑ “He drew into one of many possible cards that could beat me!” ☑ "He drafted well, played well!" ☑ “I gave the game my best, and that's all that matters!” ☑ “If I'm lucky, we can have another game soon!” ヽ(◕‿◕✿)ノ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Text-to-Speech Playing