[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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WeebsIn

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⢸⡿⢿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⢸⡇⣮⢻⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠆⣿⢸⡇⣿⣧⡻⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⢀⣠⢶⣟⢽⣿⣶⣨⣝⢕⠦⣀⢀⣠⣶⡆⠿⠸⠇⣿⣿⣷⢹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡿⠘⣻⣹⡸⣞⢿⡿⡽⡿⣷⠡⣜⡪⠋⠄⢀⣀⣤⡀⠄⠉⠛⠸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⢸⣼⣶⡇⡽⢿⣿⡜⣬⢞⣷⣤⢀⠐⣶⣦⣸⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⠄⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⢘⠻⣿⣇⣟⣑⡻⣿⡐⢡⣺⡿⣸⣷⠾⠿⣿⣿⣇⢀⠠⠡⡀⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⡟⣽⢻⣞⢸⣿⣮⢎⠳⠸⠇⣇⡂⢿⡫⢹⣉⣭⣭⠘⣣⣴⣢⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣸⡇⠄⡿⡄⣱⡤⠤⣼⣿⣾⣿⣶⣯⡛⡫⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠄⣿⡶⣣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⠁⠄⠙⡵⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢾⣿⡿⢁⣬⡙⢿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⠄⢠⢸⡞⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣶⣿⠏⠄⠰⣿⡆⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣼⣾⡍⠲⡄⠄ ⣿⠄⢯⠌⠻⣀⣰⢄⡲⢿⣿⡘⠄⠄⡔⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠠⣔⠲⣥⢄⠂⠁⢹⠑ ⣿⢠⣾⣃⡞⣥⣼⡿⡿⢷⡹⠇⢀⠊⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⠔⠄⠐⠒⠙⠮⠄⠄⠄⠘⡄ ⣿⠸⣶⣸⡿⣫⠔⠂⠑⠲⠄⠆⠄⠄⠄⢠⠚⠋⠤⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠣ ⡟⠄⠭⡼⣥⡁⠄⠄⠄⠛⣠⣦⣤⡤⠈⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⡦⠄⢀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⡇⣬⠍⠄⢶⡒⣖⢦⣤⣾⣿⡏⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣨⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄
June 2021

Weebs

69 nice

twitchquotes: Oh you think you’re funny eh? Yeah you’re so funny commenting nice on a number that represents reproduction. Yeah so funny. Wouldn’t it be nice if somebody came at your doorstep at 4:20 am with a bat that has 69 written on it? Yeah that will be as funny as your joke.
twitch chat
October 2020

I love Carl from Brawl Stars

Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
December 2020

Reynad shows us how to throw a game of Hearthstone

twitchquotes: (⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢) Now watch closely Twitch Chat as Reynad shows us how to throw a game of Hearthstone. (⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢)
twitch chat
July 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as Fox McCloud

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Fox McCloud. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of defending my Melee Championship at EVO. People say to me that a person being Fox McCloud is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, Mishun Complete. I’m having Mango inject me with tech skill and mindgames. From now on I want you guys to call me “Fox” and respect my right to shine and upsmash. If you can’t accept me you’re a spaciephobe and need to check your tierlist privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
October 2016

Super Smash Bros

I sexually Identify as

Text-to-Speech Playing