I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
LS aka “Last Straw”
twitchquotes:
LS aka “Last Straw” is always on the verge of commiting vehicular manslaughter. He has been assigned to multiple psychiatric hospitals, but always manages to escape due to the prison guards “bad pathing”.
twitch chat
imls
League of Legends
it's okay take monday off
twitchquotes:
It's ok [insert streamer name], take off monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, january, february, march, april, may, june, july, august, september, october, november, december. 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2023, 21st century, 22nd century, 23rd century off. you work too hard. 
twitch chat
Jeff Bezos could give every person 1 BILLION dollars
Jeff Bezos has 121 BILLION dollars. The population of earth is 7 billion people. He could give every person 1 BILLION dollars and end poverty, and he would still have 114 billion dollars left over but he wond do it. This is what capitalist greed looks like!
Rainbow Dash
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didn't expect to queue into you this game
twitchquotes:
oh hey toast, didn't expect to queue into you this game haha so random! i'm actually streaming rn as well on my stream at twitchtv/xxxxxx maybe you can host me no big deal if not. enjoy your content! i'm streaming atm so check me out!
no big deal if not. enjoy your content! i'm streaming atm so check me out!
twitch chat
DisguisedToast