[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hypers

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠙⠋⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠈⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠁⠀⢠⣶⡷⠶⠚⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠻⡃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⠀⠠⠟⠉⠀⣀⠤⠤⠤⢤⣉⠉⢀⣠⠤⠒⢒⠶⠚⠓⠀⠈⠓⢦⡀⠀⠈⣿ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠋⠀⠀⢀⡠⠤⠌⣀⣀⡀⠄⠊⠁⣠⠄⡀⠈⠻⣶⣄⢻⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠞⢁⣤⢠⡄⢨⠹⣿⣷⡄⣾⣿⠀⠄⠘⠂⣿⣿⢣⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⢴⣿⣿⠀⠂⠈⠀⠸⠟⠘⠻⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠈⡰⡿⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣉⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⡿⢧⡇⠀⣾ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣯⣙⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⢛⣛⣋⣭⣥⡖⡿⠁⠀⢠⣿ ⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⡀⠀⠀⠐⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⡶⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⣾⣦⣄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣶⣯⣭⣭⣽⣟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣫⣭⣭⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Ok, so I main Mercy

twitchquotes: Ok, so I main Mercy all I see is a bunch of posts and comments basically talking shit about Mercy mains. But let me tell you something, you need us. Honestly, do you think it's easy playing Mercy or something? Every time I hear "I need healing" it feels like a synapse in my brain just snapped. Like do you think I'm fucking blind or something? Do you not think I can see the big red target saying "CRITICAL"?? and you guys have the audacity to talk down on us Mercy mains.
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Vegeta

█────▓▒█▓▒▒██░▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▓──────── █────▓▒▓▓▓▒█▓▒▓▓▒▒▓▓▒▓▒▓▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▒──────── █────▒▓▓▓▒░█▓▒▓▓▓▒▓▓▓▒▒█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓───────── █────▒▓▓▓░▒█▓▓▓▓▓▒█▓▒▓▒█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓───────── █─────▓▓▓─░█▓▒▓▓▒▓█▒▓▓▓▓▓▒▓▓▓▓────────── █─────▓▓▒─░▓▓▒▓▓▒▓█▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░────────── █─────▓▓▒──▓▓▒▓▒▒▓▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒─────────── █─────▒▓───▓▓▓▓▓▒█▓▒▓▓▓▓▒▓▓▓────█─────── █──────█───▓▓▒▓▓▒██▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒───██───▓─── █──────▓───▓█▓▓▓▒█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓────█░──▒▓░── █──────░───░█▓▓▒▒█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▒───██───▓▓▒── █───────────█▓▓▓▒█▓▒▓▓▒▓▓▓────█▓──▓▓▓░── █───────────█▓▓▒▓█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▓──▓▓█▒─▒▓▓▓▒── █▒────▒─────▓▓▒▒▓█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓──▓▒██──▓▓▓▓▒── █─────▓─────░█▒▓▓█▓▒▓▓▓▓▓──▒▓█▓─▓▓▓▓▓▒── █──▓──▓▒─────█▓▒▓██▒▓▓▓▓▒─▓███▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▒── █▓─█──▒▓────▒▓█▓▒██▒▓▓▓▓──█▓▓███▓▒▓▓▓▒── ▓█─█──░▓░─▒█▓──█▓██▒▒▓▓▓─█─────▓█▓▒▓▓░── ▒█─▓───▓▒██─────███▒▓▓▓░██──────▒█▓▓▓░── ▒█░░▒──▒█▓──────▓██▓▒▓▒▓█────────██▒▓░── ▒▓█─█──▓█────────██▓▒▒░█▒─────────█▒▓─── ▒▓█─█──█──────────█▓▒▓▓█──────────█▓▓──▓ ─▓█▓▓──█──────────██─▒█▓──────────▓█▒──█ ─▒▓▓▒░▓▒───────────█▒▒█──────────▓▓█▒──█ ──▓▒─▒█────────────██▓█──────────█─█▓─▓─ ───▓─▓▓░▓──────────░██░──────────█░▓░─── ▓──▒─█─▓█───────────██───────────█▓▒▓─── █────▓─█▓────────────────────────██▒█─── █▓───█─█▓────────────────────────██─█──█ ─█───█▒█▒────────────▒───────────▓█─█──█ ─█░──▓▓█▒────────────▓────────────█─▒─██ ▓██──▓▓█─────────────▒────────────█─░─██ █─█▓─▓██─────────────▓───██───────▓▓▓─█▒ ▒──█▒─██────────▒█───█──▒█▓────────▓█▓▓█ ▒▓█─█─█──────────██──█──██──────▓█▓─██▓▒ ▓███─██─██▓▒─────▒██─▓─▓█▒────▒█─██─█▓█░ ▓▓─▓▒█▓─█▓─▓█▒────██─▓░██────▒█──██─█▓── ▒──█▒█▓─█▓───█▓────█▓▓▓█▓───▒█───██░█▓█─ ▓───▒▒█─██▓───▓▓───▓▓───────█──███─▓█─█▒ █───█▒█▒──██░───█───▓─────▒▓──▓██──████─ ██─▓██▓▓───█░▒█─▒█──██▒▓▓██─▓▓██───███── ▓█──████───██──█▒─▒▓██▒███▓▓─▓██──░█▓──█ ▒█▓─▒███▓───█────▓░██▓▓██▓█──██───█▓──▓█ ▓▓█░───██────█▓──██▒▓███▓▓──▓▓░█▓─█──▓█▓ ▓▓▓█▓───█▓──███▓▓██▓▒▓▓▒─▓▓▓█▓██▒─██████ ▓▓▓▓██░─▒█──▓▓███▓██▓───▓███▓░────█████▓ ▓▓▓▓██████▓───────▓█─██──▓░──────█████▒▒ ▓▓▓▒▓██████──────────█▓──────────███▓▒▒▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▒▓████─────────▓█░─▒────▒───██▒▒▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▓▓██───▒─────█▓▓▓────█░─█▓█▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒█░──█▓────▒██▓▓──▓█─█▓─█▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██░─░█───▒▓─▒─▒──▓▒▓█──█▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒█▓─█▓─▒░──░──░▓▒───▒█──██▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒██──██─────▒████───█──███▒▒▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒██───██────░▒─────█▓▓████▒▒▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓────███────────█████████▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▓██▓───▓███▒────▒███████████▓▒▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒█████████████████████████████▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒██████████████████████████████▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒████████████████████████▓────▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒████████████████████▒────▒───▒▒ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒███████████████████▓░────▓██████ ▓▓▓▒▓▒▓███████████████████▓█▒─▓█████████ ▒▓▓▓▓███████▓███████████████─▓██████████ ▓██▒▓██████████████████████▒████████████
September 2021

After a good game in csgo, i added him

twitchquotes: After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life. When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear. Turns out he was vegan. Don't trust this guy.
twitch chat
September 2017

CSGO

Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing