[Copypasta] I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ban one fish, get the school

twitchquotes: FishMoley ban FishMoley one FishMoley fish FishMoley and FishMoley you'll FishMoley get FishMoley the FishMoley school FishMoley
twitch chat
September 2016

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

Cybrix and Head Chef of Dominos

twitchquotes: OpieOP OpieOP Hello Cybrix, this is the Head Chef of Dominos™ we have noticed you haven’t ordered for 2 days, we’re just checking to see if everything is okay and we’ve prepared you a complementary pizza of your favourite type (XXL all-toppings pizza-topped pizza pizza-stuffed pizza crust). See you soon! OpieOP OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

We truly do live in a society

twitchquotes: I only have Joker art, because I'm so oppressed by society EZ I'm a fucking chad, me and joker are practically the same person, I relate to him so much. We both hate society and people. We both want to see the world burn. And we both think all women are lying bitches, no this is not because I don't have a gf, they all think me living in my mom's basement at 30 is cute! >:( We truly do live in a society.
twitch chat
July 2020

Eredar Lord of the Casual Legion

twitchquotes: YOU FACE KRIPPARRIAN: EREDAR LORD OF THE CASUAL LEGION
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Johnny Test face

⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠶⠶⢀⢀⢀⣼⠿⠟⠛⠿⡿⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀ ⠊⠁⣀⣀⠈⠑⣄⢀⢀⢀⣰⡡⠤⠠⢄⣰⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀ ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⢀⠘⡄⢀⢠⠏⢠⣤⣤⢀⠹⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⢀⠃⢀⣾⢀⣿⣿⣿⢀⢀⠇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀ ⢀⠈⠉⠁⢀⣠⠎⢀⡘⠸⡀⠙⠛⠁⢀⢼⡄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀ ⠁⠐⠒⠒⠈⢀⢀⢀⠧⠤⢬⠒⢀⠂⠁⢀⢳⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀ ⢀⢀⠒⠤⢤⣀⣀⣐⣒⣒⣉⡠⠤⠂⢀⡴⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀ ⣀⡀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠉⠉⠁⢀⣀⣤⠞⠉⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing