[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Darshan the mashtomp

twitchquotes: HELLO cutie it's Darshan the mashtomp and i want to get back into DIG. Even though I don't eat meat i will gladly suck yours for us to DUO REUNITE. I will even get scarra "gragas" wukong to join. Love, Darshan marshan of the il larshan kaperino no fettuchini pastrino
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Your anime dreams will not happen

You will never be Japanese. You will never find the love of your life in Japan, who looks like this and is a cutiepie Japanese girl. You will never be the protagonist in an anime. You will never have superpowers that allow you to overcome your most greatest tribulations. You'll always be a loser.
February 2021

Weebs

Undertale Sans

โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
March 2016

I'm better than professional valorant players

Wait, these are PROFESSIONAL valorant players? I'm better than all of them and I'm in bronze. I purposely empty my vandal clip down to 1 bullet because I kill all my opponents with 1 tap ease. Tenz looks like he could use some lessons from me directly. I'm bronze by the way.
August 2021

Valorant

Imqtpie losing his farmer's license for poor cs

twitchquotes: Hey, qtPie this is the NSA (National Service of Agriculture). If you do not start getting some cs soon, we will have to revoke your farmer license
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing