[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
TwitchStocks.com is a new website where users can buy and sell streamer stocks using fake money
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

GME revamp

GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

2Chainz lyrics

twitchquotes: "She got a big booty, so I call her big booty". -2Chainz Upon initial glance, these lyrics appear to be an unintelligent embodiment of the lack of creativity that rap and hip hop music is viewed as today. However upon further investigation, one will find that, in actuality, lyrical genius 2Chainz has crafted a beautiful and deep piece of literature carefully condensed into a single 11 word sentence that perfectly describes not only the world we live in, but also life itself.
twitch chat
February 2019

Just taking my money for a walk

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲___[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5)̲̅$̲̅] Don't mind me subs, just taking my money for a walk
twitch chat
October 2018

Classic

plebs vs subs

Approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Who asked?

According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 days of life (985.5 trillion days). Not once in any of those days did anybody ask.
November 2021

Who Asked?

My name is Kixelated

twitchquotes: Hi, my name is Kixelated, you might know me from the 3rd division of the 22nd branch of Twitch’s official Nazi party. I am here to use my powers as one of the most important men of the our beloved Nazi party to ban all twitch MODERATORS that aren’t doing their job. You are supposed to prevent communism from spreading by banning all of the one man spammers, but instead, you are exactly like them. I want to let you know that you guys are fired
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

MODS

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing