[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

When will C9 play at Worlds?

twitchquotes: Hi guys, I'm a 12 year old from Uganda. I sold my 6 kids just to be able to afford internet to watch C9 play at worlds. When will they play?
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

5 men 9 eyebrows 1 dream

twitchquotes: This is Gambit ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º( ͡° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °)ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ 5 MEN 9 EYEBROWS 1 DREAM
twitch chat
March 2014

Classic

League of Legends

Jared 10 years later...

twitchquotes: Ten years later, after retiring from Dignitas, Jared quit league, settled down, and found a girl he loved. Everything was going great until one night, after an incredibly romantic dinner, she dropped to her knees and proposed to Jared. As she opened the small box in her hands, Jared gasped when he saw the stone: two diamonds. His future wife leaned up next to his ear, slipped the ring on his finger, and whispered, "Don't be a p ussy."
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

God I want Zarya to be real

twitchquotes: God I want Zarya to be real, I want her large feet to smash my head. I want her muscular thighs to squash my head. It brings me to a near orgasmic feeling by just thinking about her and her muscular toned body. If Activision Blizzard made sexdolls, I would buy every Zarya model for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Fuck I just want Zarya to be real
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

I hope Zoe wins xD

twitchquotes: I hope Zoe wins xD. I’m a Zoe main and she’s just so fun!! People get so trolled by the bubble, and her voice lines are so cute like when she sings about chocolate cake LOL! She’s super random but also smarter than she looks, just like me xD
twitch chat
February 2020

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing