[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Canadian sex

twitchquotes: thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!"
twitch chat
November 2020

A woman and a redditor?

A woman and a redditor? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt * ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO FUCK inhales from the gas tank honka honka honka honka ~masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~
August 2021

Simps

Grow up chat, grow up

twitchquotes: This chat disgusts me. 40% of the chat are 41 year olds pretending to be 14. The other 40% are 14 year olds pretending to be 41. And the remaining 30% just copy pastes the longest message they can find in the chat. Grow up chat, grow up
twitch chat
March 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

Jared, one final ff

twitchquotes: The year is 2027, Jared has just returned from his third tour in North Korea. Each time he fired his rifle he whispered the same word, "/ff". He looks down to the 9mm in his belt and dreams of seeing imaqtpie and Dom one last time, one final "/ff'
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Be careful with what emojis you react with

Ok everyone since you don’t listen when I’m nice, I’m going to get mean. Reacting to messages with a clown (🤡), a skull (💀), or a nerd face (🤓) isn’t funny. It’s not cool, it’s not interesting, it’s annoying. These 3 emojis in particular aren’t funny, they’re RUDE. We as staff work hard to keep this place safe, and to have you all constantly react to our messages with mean emojis makes me FURIOUS. STOP reacting to our messages with rude emojis. They do NOTHING but make you look really, really stupid. It shows you have no rebuttals to our arguments, so you have to use juvenile tactics paramount to terrorism in order to stop us from being able to speak out truth. FROM NOW ON, IF YOU REACT WITH ANY MEAN EMOJIS, I AM WRITING YOUR NAME DOWN. IF YOU ARE A SERIAL REACTOR, YOUR USERNAME IS GOING TO A GOOGLE DOC. AT THE END OF THE MONTH, I WILL TAKE THIS DOC TO THE APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES FOR THEM TO INVESTIGATE AND ARREST YOU. This is your ONLY warning. Tread carefully…
July 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing