[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here. Just wanted to let you know we have some updates to our policy for sponsored content. Instead of saying "that guy's deck was crazy", we now suggest our partners use the phrase, "wow, that guy must have used HearthArena™ to get a deck like that!" We're grateful for your continued participation and hope you have a nice day.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

SeemsGood

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠟⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⢿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠃⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣛⠧⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡆⠀⣿⣯⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⣄⣾⡿⡿⠿⢟⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣭⣡⣶⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠝⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣘⣿⣿⣾⣿⡽⣿⡿⢟⡃⠈⣉⡀⠈⠍⠙⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣋⣅⠹⠰⣴⣷⣾⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⠽⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠇⠈⠹⢿⣧⣾⣤⠹⡿⠃⣠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⠞⠿⣦⣈⠉⠘⠏⠁⣀⣴⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣏⣩⣤⣤⠄⠀⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⢿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
October 2020

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Pole Dancer Navy Seal Copypasta

What the *** did you just *** say about me, you little ***? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Pole Dancers, and I’ve been involved in numerous strips, and I have over 300 confirmed handstands. I am trained in pole warfare and I’m the top Ashley in the entire US strip forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the *** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my *** hearthstone chat. You think you can get away with saying that *** to me over the Internet? Think again, fuckers.
October 2014

Navy Seal

Text-to-Speech Playing