[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
TwitchStocks.com is a new website where users can buy and sell streamer stocks using fake money
I used to be a real ad
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Regi storms in the TSM meeting room

twitchquotes: In the TSM meeting room, Regi stormed in with the fury of God by his side. As everyone tried to flee, the Monkey King channeled cyclone effectively knocking the new imports back to China, he pulled his staff out of his ass and knocked Tactical back to Team Liquid. Spica and Huni manage to escape, but they are greeted at the exit, a contract enticing them to stay for 100 FTX bitcoins. They choose to stay.
twitch chat
March 2022

League of Legends

Anime girl excited

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠈⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠴⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠈⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢁⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣀⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⠀⠀⠐⢦⡀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣠⡾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⢷⣄⠀⠀⠹⣦ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠯⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣷⣤⡀⠘ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠑⠢⣀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⠄⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⡙⡳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠃⢀⡴⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣾⡀⢐⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣴⡀⠁⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠈⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠳⡈⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⡿⠿⠽⠿⠿⣿⣷⣶⣌⡳⡀⠀⢹⣷⡄⠀⠀ ⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠑⢥⠀⠀⡾⠋⣰⡿⡟⠊⠀⠚⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠉⢹⠀⢳⠀⢸⣿⣿⡄⠀ ⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠈⠀⠈⠀⠰⢻⠋⠀⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠈⠀⠀⢃⢘⡏⢿⣿⡄ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠈⠣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠋⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣼⡇⠈⢿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⣿⠀⠀⡨⠂⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠈⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⣐⠊⠀⠀⠀⢉⠶⠶⢂⠈⠙⠒⠂⠠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⠀⣀⠂⢣⡀⠀⠀⠘⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⠷⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡀⡙⠀⠈⢧⠀⠡⡀⢉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡫⣋⣥⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡗⠃⠐⠀⠈⣷⡀⢳⡄⠂⠀⠀⣸⣿⡛⠑⠛⢿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⡀⠂⡀⠀⣸⢱⡈⠇⠐⠄⡠⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡐⡀⠀⢠⠏⠀⢳⡘⡄⠈⠀⢿⡿⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣧⠐⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⢳⡴⡀⠀⢸⣿⡄⠀⠉⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣷⡀⠀⠃⠙⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠱⣕⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢄⠈⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
May 2021

Weebs

If you are reading this, WAKE UP

twitchquotes: If you are reading this, WAKE UP. You are in a simulation. Don't you see it? The same responses repeating in chat? Its because the computer only has a set number of lines. Wake up before its too late!
twitch chat
November 2015

Classic

I think my child might be british

I think my child might be british. Where did I go wrong in all of this??? What steps can I take to save him? I noticed it back in July when he seemed grumpy for our fourth of july picnic. Since then, he's been steadily getting a south L*ndon accent, drinking tea, and watching soccer. The other day I heard him call one of his friends "bruv" on the phone (which he now calls the TELLY for fucks sake!) WHAT DO I DO???
March 2021

British People

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
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