[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Deathrattle is "Lose the game"

twitchquotes: Guys what if Acidic swamp ooze was a 30/30, but its deathrattle was "Lose the game"? Would this be balanced? Should I contact bilbarzard??
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

So Aurateur, let’s have a talk.

twitchquotes: So Aurateur, let’s have a talk. I strongly feel that your channel would do better if you turned off TTS or at least filtered out the spam. Thing is, while I myself have never donated to you or any other streamer, and my only subs are twitch prime, I feel I know a thing or two about how to succeed as a streamer and I’m certain your channel would do better without all the spam, it’s clear nobody wants that shit and is the only thing holding you back as a fulltime streamer. Thank you.
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur

Last night I shoved live gerbils in my ass for the first time. AMA

July 2022

Confessions

Bitcoin

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣧⠀ ⠀⣾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣥⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠘⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⢹⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
January 2021

The Moon isn't so great?

twitchquotes: The Moon isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw an astronomical object with such an ability and movement within the celestial plane? The Moon puts the eclipse game to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a planet with its skill and passion for moving in front of things again. The Sun breaks records. Earth breaks records. The Moon breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
twitch chat
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing