[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
TwitchStocks.com is a new website where users can buy and sell streamer stocks using fake money
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™

twitchquotes: If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... Ｈ Ｏ Ｒ Ｒ Ｉ Ｂ Ｌ Ｅ... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the ＢＥＳＴ for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.
twitch chat
August 2019

Goku

⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣷⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⡾⠯⠉⠉⠉⠉⠚⠑⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠭⠿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⣠⣾⣳⠁⠄⠄⢺⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣷⡦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⢰⣿⣯⣿⡁⢔⡒⣶⣯⡄⢀⢄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣶ ⠓⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⢀⣤⢘⣿⣿⣷⣷⣿⠛⣾⣿⣿⣆⠾⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣼⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⢘⣿⢰⡟⣿⣿⣷⣫⣭⣿⣾⣿⣿⣴⠏⠄⠄⢀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⠄⠄⠄⠹⣮⣹⡘⠛⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠑⢤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡹⣿⣿⣷⣯⣽⣿⣿⡿⣋⣴⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣝⡻⢿⣿⡿⠋⡒⣾⣿⣧⢰⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⣏⣟⣼⢋⡾⣿⣿⣿⣘⣔⠙⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛⡵⣻⠿⠟⠁⠛⠰⠿⢿⠿⡛⠉⠄⠄⢀⠄⠉⠉⢉ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠉⣠⣴⣶⢆⣴⡶⠿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠩⠄⠉⢀⠠⠂⠈⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
August 2020

Jack Ma goes missing

Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him 😔
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto and I am begging you to stop drinking so much OJ. Since you became popular on the Twitch our sales have decreased by over 69% because Canadians want to be like you. For *** sake please drink some apple juice! If you continue drinking OJ, I wont be able to feed my family anymore
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Hey Kripp, how's it going, Faeria Dev here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, how's it going, Faeria Dev here. We noticed that your streams are interesting and entertaining. To fix this issue, we have decided to offer you money to play our very uninteresting and boring card game that is clearly a clone of Hearthstone. We look foward to future business with you and hope that you can sellout out a little bit more in the future. ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing