[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022

bestest tf

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is dongerino. I want to be the bestest TF just like OLDSCHOOL GG. I still work in banana factory as i m banana. I want to move to america land of FREEEEEDOM to live american dream. However i scared that best wukong reginald will eat me. Plz no copy dongerino my life story I got a dreamo al pacino stevo-o mike the situation sorrentino
twitch chat
July 2014
TSM_Reginald

League of Legends

Any fellers?

⢣⣈⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⡀⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠰⣶⣦⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿ ⣜⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣭⣉⡛⠻⢷⣄⠈⢷⣦⣀⠘⠻⠷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣤⣲⠙⠂⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡉⢀⣀⣰⠟⠻⢮⣉⠛⠷⠄⢸⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⣿⣿⡉⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⢀⠙⢷⣤⠄⢻⡿⠿⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⢿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣷⠄⣿⣇⣀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⢻⣿⣷⣦⢰⣭⡻⣯⣈⡙⠰⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡣⢃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡻⢤⣝⡻⢾⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⡫⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡙⠻⢿⣧⣭⣀⣀⢁⣀⣾⣿⡿⢟⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠈⠛⠿⠟⢿⣦⣌⣙⣻⣿⡿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⢛⣛⠛⣿⡛⢛⠛⠛⣿⠛⢻⡟⢛⣿ ⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⡟⢩⡽⢀⣿⠁⣼⡇⢰⣿⠄⣿⠇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣶⣿⣷⣾⣾⠶⠶⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⢰⣦⣾⣿⣿⣷⠂⣸⣷⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡷⠄⣶⠏⠱⠆⣀⡟⢀⣿⡇⢸⡟⠁⠶⢀⣷⠄⣨⣤⡌⠐⠶⣦⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡄⠸⠿⣻⡃⠸⢿⠄⠼⣇⠘⠿⢟⡿⠄⣿⣿⠙⠷⠆⣸⣿⣿ ⡟⢛⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Kripp drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges

twitchquotes: Kripp, its Stavros the Fruit Seller from the bazaar. I'm sorry to tell you but you've drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges. Because of the rioting on the streets we advise you to hide any OJ supply you might have left. We can now only sell you Olive Juice and the odd jar of Tzatziki. Please no gyro ouzo
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I want to be a box

twitchquotes: Hello My name is Juan Taquito, and My dream is to become a cardboard box, I go home to my family of 12 children daily, searching online for how to become a box, that is why i will watch BoxBox every day, to learn his ways and reach my true form.
twitch chat
July 2014
flosd
Text-to-Speech Playing