[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

k3soju bt diff kiyoon fanfic

twitchquotes: Soju and kiyoon lying on their deathbed talking about good old set 5. Soju: Remember how broken BT was hehe. Kiyoon: Yeah haha. The nurse comes in with Sojus daily blood transfusion (BT), what she didnt know is tha kiyoon had paid off the nurse to give him the wrong blood. Soju: Kiyoon im dying, i got downgraded so hard. IK soju, ik... goodbye old friend. Fucking BT diff soju whispers with his last breath...
twitch chat
May 2021
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Keepo

β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–“β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–“β–“β–€β–“β–“β–’β–“β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–„β–€β–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–’β–€β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Think you can beat me?

β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β  β „β „β ’β ‚β’€β „β „β „β „β „β „ β’€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β‘€β „β£°β£Άβ£¦β‘ˆβ „β „β „β „β „β „THINK ⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣖⣿⣷⣴⑄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄YOU ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠩⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄CAN ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣾⣿⣿⑏⠉⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄BEAT β „β „β’€β£΄β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ Ίβ‘‡β „β’΅β£€β£€β „β „β „β „β „ME β „β’ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β β „β£·β£€β ˆβ ™β ›β ‘β „β „β „β „1,2,3? ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⑇⠹⣿⣿⣿⑦⠄⠹Ⓙ⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β’°β£€β£€β£€β£ β£”β’°β „β „β „β „β’€β‘ˆβ „β „β „ β’ β£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β’Έβ‘†β „β β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Œβ „β „ β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘†β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’Ώβ‘€β „β ˆβ „β „β’€β „β’°β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β „ β ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£·β „β „β „β£Ώβ£·β£¦β „β β „β „β „β ˜β „β ˜β’Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „ β „β ˆβ »β£Ώβ£‡β  β „β’€β‘‰β „β „β „β „β „β’€β‘†β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ‘‡β „ β „β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ£§β’€β£Ώβ£Ώβ’·β£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ύβ’Ÿβ£Ύβ£„β „β‘΄β£Ώβ‘€β „ β „β „β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ£§β£β£Ώβ£·β£β’Ώβ£Ώβ ‡β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Žβ‘‘β ‹β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β£β ›β ‹β β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Žβ’ β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β’ β£Ώβ£·β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β ˜β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ „β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „
November 2018

Classic

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021

I miss Julio the donkey

twitchquotes: Hello, my name its Juan Pastas Copyrino. Sorry my england. Last week donkey Julio died outside of the house. I loved Julio. Every day we ride to work together. I also spoke donkey language better than my england. Julio and me always talked for hours about business and the political situation here. But now Julio is in donkey heaven. I miss him
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing