[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

FitnessGram Pacer Test

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
September 2016

Classic

forsenStein

⡄⢿⣿⣿⠏⣼⣿⡇⣴⣿⡆⣿⢰⣿⢀⣾⡇⢀⣿⣿⠄⣠⣿⠄⣼⢟⣴⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣦⣛⡫⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣼⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠟⠟⡠⢤⣀⡀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣌⣱⢦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣹⠿⠿⣫⣿⠁ ⣤⣤⣸⢟⣉⡙⢻⠦⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣯⣶⣆⣀⣠⣤⣄⣀⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴ ⣿⣿⣬⡿⢦⣤⠿⡛⢤⠄⣿⣿⣣⣼⡿⠟⢁⡀⡀⠄⠉⠛⠿⠿⡆⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢉⣰⡟⣸⣿⢡⣯⣍⣉⢭⣍⡳⠤⠴⢆⣤⢀⣿⡭⠍⠟⡫⢙⡿ ⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣾⣿⢏⣴⣿⣿⡎⣯⣽⣭⣻⣦⣩⣈⠭⠿⢻⠯⣊⣴⠭⣵⣿⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠸⠿⣿⠏⣈⣭⣹⣯⣷⣟⣻⡽⣿⣾⣽⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣼⠟⠋⠁⠒⠻⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⢺⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣛⣥⠄⠒⣒⣒⣒⠓⠒⠚⣻⣟⠲⣤⠄⢹⣮⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⡳⢭⡭⢿⣽⠛⠙⠧⢭⣤⡤⢽⣦⣿⣿⣷⡝⠛⠛⠉⠄⣰⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡿⣿⣿⣶⡍⠉⠋⠛⣛⣛⣛⣭⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣣⠄⢠⣶⣾⣿⡟ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠉⠙⣛⣯⣾⣿⣶⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄ ⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

every youtube comment

No one: Not a single soul: This video: exists This comment: hold my beer Me: so you have chosen death Death: that's a big yikes from me dawg Also death: I wasn't expecting special forces Me: mom can we have death Mom: we already have death at home Death at home: surprised pikachu face This video literally makes me cry every time Who else is watching this in ???? This video: wait that's illegal Also this video: why do I hear boss music??? Thumbs up so he sees this comment in 14 years when this video gets recommended! Edit: thanks for the likes XD
December 2020

Classic

Infinite Cum Part 3

Your release had increased so much that they could no longer contain you. Your cum has consumed the entirety of the cosmos. Humanity is without a shred of doubt, gone. You are alone in the universe. If there were aliens, they are dead now. It’s over. In despair, you mourn the death of the scientists, of humanity, of everyone. You realize you'll never hear her sweet and calming voice, see her proud body. Your sad. Your terrified. Chronicles pass. The last stars in the universe eclipse. You silently watch as the last atoms break into protons, into quarks, into mere beams of weak energy that disperse along the vertical ropes. But the ropes no longer play their docile music. They have gonne silent. You watch, helplessly, as the Last mozon is engulfed into the ever expanding plane of Cum. Your own creation destroys the very own universe, defying the own plan of existence. You are alone. You scream, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You cry, but nothing descends from your eyes. Do you even have eyes? All you can see is the torrid Instotucional white across the whole of the Universe. Entire Gans eclipse before your eyes, but then you realize the horror: The Cum turned against you. With nothing more to consume, your sons turned against their father, and begin to consume you. You tremble. There's nothing to do. The huge weight impacts you like if whole planets fell onto your shoulders. Your alone. In your last moments, a odd sentiment of peace invades you for the first time since the early days of the universe. It's finally gonna end. You think about all the people that you've met during your stay in this universe. In the end, you think about the researcher. About her arms. Her breasts. You feel... good. For the first time in many hipereons. You jack off it. It's so.... good, you come at the right time, freeing the constrained cum from your menber. You open your eyes, and behold the bathroom door. You are Ok. You remember everything. It's all over. You exit the bathroom after jacking off again, going back to your old life. The cum stops.
April 2022

Infinite Cum

"kappa this, kappa that" Does it ever stop?

twitchquotes: "kappa this, kappa that" Does it ever stop? When will this stuff stop being HILARIOUS to people? I mean seriously is there no originality left on this world? Are we all just monkey see monkey do? I don't know about you guys but I'm sick of every time I look up a game, or a forum post, anything really I have to scroll past like 50 of these.
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing