[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Expect some Netflix server issues

twitchquotes: Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the US East area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spend their day at home watching netflix and eating chocolate beacuse mason is not going to go out with them on valentines day because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2.
twitch chat
June 2019
masondota2

Dota 2

Peeking Anime Girl

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⠙⠾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿ ⠋⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⢀⠠⠐⠈⠁⠀⠀⠁⠀⠈⠻⢾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣟⣿ ⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠃⠀⠀⠠⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠄⠀⠙⣾⣷⣿⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢰⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠈⡀⠀⠈⢿⣟⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢀⡜⣐⠃⠀⠀⠀⣠⠁⡄⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⠀⢠⠆⢠⡃⠀⠀⠀⣔⠆⡘⡇⢘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⢀⡆⠀⡼⢣⠀⢀⠌⢸⢠⠇⡇⢘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⣼⣃⠀⠁⢸⢀⠎⠀⢸⠎⠀⢸⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠃⡏⠟⣷⣤⠁⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⡾⢀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠋⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠠⡘⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿ ⠈⠀⢿⢗⡻⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⢰⠁⡇⠀⠀⢨⠃⡄⢀⠀⣸⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣱⠀⠀⡎⠸⠁⠀⢀⠞⡸⠀⡜⢠⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣺⣿⣧⢰⣧⡁⡄⠀⡞⠰⠁⡸⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡿⠏⣿⠟⢁⠾⢛⣧⢼⠁⠀⠀⢰⣿⡿⣷⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠡⠄⠀⡠⣚⡷⠊⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⣿⡿⣿ ⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠁⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿ ⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠙⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣾⡿⣷⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⣩⡞⠉⠁⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⡆⠀⠀⣀⡠⠞⠁⣧⢤⣀⣀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⠊⠁⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⠶⢦⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿ ⣿⢿⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿ ⠋⠈⠀⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣽⣾⣿ ⢀⡄⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣻⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣻⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣃⡇⠀⠲⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡿⣿ ⣀⠤⠤⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢬⠞⡇⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⡁⢀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠀⠇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠔⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⡃⠀⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣿ ⠒⠊⠀⠀⢸⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⢅⠀⠀⡂⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣟⣿ ⠓⠀⠉⠀⢸⣰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⡆⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠁⠀⢠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠁⡇⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣿ ⡀⠀⢀⢿⣥⡤⠤⠤⠤⣀⣀⢠⠇⠀⢸⠀⠀⢰⠁⠀⢨⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣟⣿
December 2021

Weebs

Anime

THERE'S TOO MUCH SALT

twitchquotes: (╬ ಠ益ಠ) IM GETTING ANGRY THERES TOO MUCH SALT (╬ ಠ益ಠ)
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!

twitchquotes: I'm SICK of STREAMERS referring to all us all as "Twitch Chat" as if we're some sort of hivemind. I am NOT a DRONE. I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!
twitch chat
May 2015

A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once

A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like he’s really tall and large but the guy couldn’t be more than 5’4”. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said “The required information is in the lab directions” but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadn’t even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology I’ve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldn’t find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
March 2022
Jerma985
Text-to-Speech Playing