Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
YOU. ME. GAS STATION.
What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
lethal
twitchquotes:
Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. āPepperoniā Kripp whispered into Amazās elvish ear, as they started making out. āDoā¦do I win?ā Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. āYour deck is crazyā Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. āItās lethal guysā Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
KappaPride
How do I get my husband to stop going āGoblin Modeā during sex?
How do I get my husband to stop going āGoblin Modeā during sex?
TLDR; My husband says āGoblin Mode activatedā when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says āGoblin Mode offā when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward.
I really love my husband and heās always been great in bed. But recently heās been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in āGoblin Modeā. We didnāt really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. Heās an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time Iāve ever seen him cry. I think since then, heās been a little emotionally unwell. Iāve heard him muttering, āGoblinā repeatedly when he didnāt notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said āGoblin Mode activatedā, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex Iāve ever had, but Iām worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice?
Edit: The problem isnāt the āGoblin Modeā, itās that he could be ill
Confessions
Classic
Hello I'm a 1 month old banana
twitchquotes:
Hello im a 1 month old banana. Since i fall off the tree i watch leek of legends and want
to become Sorakaās bestest banana but im afraid Wukong will eat me. Pls dont laugh at my story!
twitch chat
Trick2g
I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps
twitchquotes:
Trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable *** off the face of the continent, you little ***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ācleverā comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your *** tongue. But you couldnāt, you didnāt, and now youāre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will *** fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youāre *** dead, kiddo.
twitch chat
imaqtpie