Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
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Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call
So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iโm a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iโm not sure what to say in interviews now if Iโm asked why I left this job. Any advice?
Boomer anthem
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Please๐ณ rise ๐ for the ๐คจ national ๐ anthem ๐ถ of boomers ๐คช
๐บ๐บ๐บ
Video Games ๐ฎ cause violence ๐ก๐๐ผ,
Phone ๐ฑ bad ๐, book ๐ good ๐
I hate ๐ my wife ๐ฐ
Pause โธ๏ธ the Fortnite ๐ฅ please ๐ค
Funny ๐คฃ Facebook ๐ minion ๐คญ memes ๐คช
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Meet the Engineer TF2
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Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
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