Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa
twitchquotes:
( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
twitch chat
Classic
It was dinner time in the Cloud Nein Gamer house
twitchquotes:
It was dinner time in the Cloud Nein Gaymer house. Zachary βSneakyβ Scuderi dishes up a steaming plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. William βMeteosβ Hartman looks up from his plate with a gleam in his eye. βI got the meat right here for you baby.β Lubing up with Marinara Sauce, Meteos begins to pound his sausage into sneakyβs lightly buttered dinner roll. With a scream of delight Meat-eos releases his load calling an end to another successful team dinner.
twitch chat
Sneaky
KappaPride
League of Legends
My eyelids are heavy
twitchquotes:
My eyelids are heavy 
Im starting to dream you know what this tells me? its a qtpie stream
Im starting to dream you know what this tells me? its a qtpie stream
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Salt can
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