Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
I used to be a real ad
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Jacking Off Emoji
My boss recently discovered Among Us
Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
Among Us / Amogus
If you ever need a man to be the kiwi to your pie...
twitchquotes:
ʜᴇʏ ɢɪʀʟ, ɪ ʜᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇs, sᴏ ʜᴏᴡ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs? ɪ'ᴅ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴇʀᴏɴɪ ᴀɴʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅɪɢɴɪᴛASS (ʜᴇʜᴇ). ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀ ᴍᴀɴ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪᴡɪ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘɪᴇ, ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍʏ ғᴇᴅᴏʀᴀ ᴀʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴄʀᴜᴢɪɴ' ᴀɴᴅ ʙʀᴜᴢɪɴ' ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ʀᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ғɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ɢʟᴜᴇ. ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʙᴀʀᴏɴ, ᴏʀ ɪ'ʟʟ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴜᴛ ᴄʀᴜᴍʙᴢ
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Ben Shapiro LEGO city
Now, let’s say, hypothetically, that a man has fallen into the river, in LEGO City. That would lead us to look at the facts and realize that it would be time to start the new rescue helicopter, due to the HEY!
This would mean that we’d build the helicopter, and logically would be off to the rescue. I would, hypothetically, prepare the lifeline, which would proceed with me lowering the stretcher. Which makes sense, seeing as I would be making the rescue. So now I must pose the question, why do liberals hate the new Emergency Collection from LEGO City?
Lego City
Ben Shapiro
i got this new anime plot
i got this new anime plot. basically there’s this high school girl except she’s got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big ol’ tonhongerekoogers. what happens next?! transfer student shows up with even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. humongous hungolomghononoloughongous