Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Muffins the dog in love with cats
twitchquotes:
I'm muffins! i'm a dog that is in LOVE with cats! That's right! I know it sounds crazy because floofy doogos aren't supposed to breed with sassy kitties but I grew up with them and have just never really wanted anything to o with other puppers. It just feels so good to be a big strong dog loving a slender and fragile kitty! I can't help myself! Their long tail seductively swishing effortlessly through the air... I'm getting too excited now! I need to go to the park! I'm going to go play now!
twitch chat
ββI've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor
twitchquotes:
ββI've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes. His spray control is otherworldly, his crosshair erratically jolting across the screen as his wrist muscles perfectly predict the next bullet's location. Time literally stops as he peeks, sunlight curving as his trigger finger impacts his left mouse button, sending enemies to a digital shadow realm before they even know what happened. He is un-killable. He is undefeatable. This "man" is the epitome of eternal.
twitch chat
TenZ
Valorant
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheβs humming a song you canβt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. βWhat do you want for Christmas?β You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. βNothing, really.β
βNothing?β She crawls into bed and touches your leg. βAre you sure?β Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyβll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, βWhatβs wrong?β
Stonks only go up.
But you donβt.
WallStreetBets
Horrible attack on my privacy
twitchquotes:
Dear Mr Morosan, I was unaware of the fact that upon subscribing to your channel full of top notch casual gameplay, my personal rights would be violated. I did not ask to be "fisted". I hereby demand a public apology and a stack of OJ cartons as compensation for the psychological scars this horrible attack on my privacy has caused.
twitch chat
Kripp
OMG you're so FUNNY so quirky
ππOMG π youβre so FUNNY π€£ π€£ so quirky ππ π€ͺ so different π€©absolute crackhead energy π€ͺπ€ͺ comedic geniusπ§ π I literally canβt β breathe π iβm crying dude ππ that was so hilarious π u really got the whole squad laughing π¨βπ©βπ§βπ¦ππ©βπ©βπ¦βπ¦ππ¨βπ¨βπ§βπ¦ high IQ comedy π§ π§ howβd you come up with that π§π really original work π never seen π or heard π anything like that before π π π great π job ππ keep up the funnies ππ€£π i love you π π youβre my inspiration π€©π€©π€© if only i were as funny π or smart π€ or cool π as you π but its whatever Iβll continue to watch πππ your content π₯π€³ because it βNEVER EVERβ fails to make me laugh ππ thank you π for existing π and doing what you do β€οΈβ€οΈ