[Copypasta] Stimulus talks going well in 2946

The year is 2946, Robot Mitch McConnel and Cyborg Nancy Pelosi report stimulus talks going well. The Dow rewards them and hits 6.02 x 1023.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

Bears after a green day

It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan ‘97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word “VOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Which one of you got reddit to send me this

Which one of you fucks got reddit to send me this shit "Hi there, A concerned redditor reached out to us about you. When you're in the middle of something painful, it may feel like you don't have a lot of options."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Thats why this place is so special.

Listen 5 years ago I wanted to get into investing. I came to this sub to get some advice. One guy helped me with a stock I could invest in. It was dipping for a few days and I kept asking what I should do and he said hold. Kept quoting Warren buffet On the third day I panicked and told him I had to sell. He sent me a video and told me to watch it before I sold. It was a guy getting railed by jpow. I lost 400 dollars that day but it taught me some lessons. Now look at me. Been investing for over 3 years now. I was even on this gme thing. Yeah I could of made 8x the profits instead of 4 but I consider that my own fault. But through this great sub and everything I have learned, I reinvested my profits and as of today I am down 5 grand. Thats why this place is so special.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

My idiot boyfriend spent my college fund on dog coins how do I get it back???

He talked me into spending the $8500 I have on dog coins because something was supposed to happen yesterday which would have given us more money?? but it didn't actually happen or got canceled or something I don't really know or understand how it works but I went to the dog coin site to withdraw my money and there is only about $6700 of it there, where is the rest of it? I tried looking at the faq but don't really get it
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

a tesla drives down the street in 2021

the year is 2021 A tesla drives down the street unknowing of the danger behind it a beast of American metal and lightning The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can It cannot save him, he can hear the music already "THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY" He realizes he is already dead In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV It stops for no one
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing