In Japan π―π΅ , heart surgeon β€οΈπ¨ββοΈ . Number one πβοΈ . Steady handπ³βοΈ. One day, Yakuza boss ππ»need π heartπ. I do operationπͺβοΈ. But, mistakeπ±! Yakuza boss dieπ΅πͺ! Yakuza very madπΏ. I hideπ in fishing boatππ£π»ββοΈ, come to AmericaπππΊπΈ. No englishπ€, no foodπ©, no moneyππ«π². Darryl π¨πΏgive me jobππ¨π»βπΌ. Now I have houseπ‘, American car π , and new woman ππ±π»ββοΈ. Darryl π¨πΏsave lifeβ. My big secretπ: I kill β οΈyakuza boss on purposeπ. I good πsurgeon. The bestππ―!
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Ebettle
twitchquotes:
I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of e-betting website to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ebettle, the best betting website on the internet. Now available for children.
twitch chat
sellout
Classic
Watch out I'm driving (Truck)
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββ β 
WATCH OUT I'M DRIVING
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
β(@)βββββββ(@)(@)βββββββββββββ(@)β
WATCH OUT I'M DRIVING
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
β(@)βββββββ(@)(@)βββββββββββββ(@)β
Classic
Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?
twitchquotes:
Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much? I'm really trying to pay attention to the stream and you guys are distracting me. If you guys really cared about the quality of the stream or [insert streamer name] you would stop the spamming and copying and pasting. God, I swear you guys are the worst part of twitch. Couldn't you just try to be mature for once in your life? Everyday I come here and it's the same thing, a bunch of no life neckbeards ruining this quality content for everyone else..
twitch chat
Classic
I hate Twitch Chat
Giving due respect to the chat moderators
twitchquotes:
Hey mods I just wanted to congratulate you all and give proper respect for keeping our chats safe from the evils of Twitch, the spammers, and sexual predators. Without you and your methods, which have no affiliation to the leading German political party within the time frame of World War 2, we would not be able to enjoy a fun, clean environment in which we can enrich ourselves with game knowledge and truly become one as a great family for the greater good of internet chatrooms. Again, I would like to say you have done a wonderful job and hope to see you all keep up the great work.
twitch chat
MODS
Classic
I'm just a memer
twitchquotes:
γ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ 
β just a memer γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½γγ½γ½
β just a memer γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½γγ½γ½
twitch chat
Forsen