[Copypasta] Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ , heart surgeon β€οΈπŸ‘¨β€βš•οΈ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady handπŸ˜³βœ‹οΈ. One day, Yakuza boss πŸ™‡πŸ»need πŸ†• heartπŸ’˜. I do operationπŸ”ͺβš”οΈ. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😡πŸ˜ͺ! Yakuza very madπŸ‘Ώ. I hideπŸ™ˆ in fishing boatπŸŸπŸš£πŸ»β€β™€οΈ, come to AmericaπŸŽ‡πŸŽŠπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ. No english🀐, no food😩, no moneyπŸ“‰πŸš«πŸ’². Darryl πŸ‘¨πŸΏgive me jobπŸ™ŒπŸ‘¨πŸ»β€πŸ’Ό. Now I have house🏑, American car πŸš— , and new woman πŸ†•πŸ‘±πŸ»β€β™€οΈ. Darryl πŸ‘¨πŸΏsave lifeβ›‘. My big secretπŸ™Š: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good πŸ‘surgeon. The bestπŸ‘ŒπŸ’―!
July 2019

Emoji Pasta

Classic

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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NA ULT LUL

twitchquotes: Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Overwatch

Unseen donger is the deadliest

twitchquotes: (ΰΈ‡ Ν  Ν Β° Ω„Νœ Β°)ΰΈ‡ α΄›Κœα΄‡ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɒᴇʀ Ιͺs α΄›Κœα΄‡ α΄…α΄‡α΄€α΄…ΚŸΙͺᴇsα΄› (ΰΈ‡ Ν Β° Ω„Νœ Β°)ΰΈ‡
twitch chat
June 2017

Classic

Flanders Diddly Spamly Doodly

β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’DIDDLYβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’SPAMLYβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’DOODLYβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–„β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–’β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–„β–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–€β–„β–β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–
ascii art
September 2016

Classic

I put my cursor over Kripp's and pretend we're holding hands

twitchquotes: (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) sometimes... when i have a bad day.... I put my cursor over Kripp's and pretend that we're holding hands (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ)
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Classic

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

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