[Copypasta] Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan 🇯🇵 , heart surgeon ❤️👨‍⚕️ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady hand😳✋️. One day, Yakuza boss 🙇🏻need 🆕 heart💘. I do operation🔪⚔️. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😵😪! Yakuza very mad👿. I hide🙈 in fishing boat🐟🚣🏻‍♀️, come to America🎇🎊🇺🇸. No english🤐, no food😩, no money📉🚫💲. Darryl 👨🏿give me job🙌👨🏻‍💼. Now I have house🏡, American car 🚗 , and new woman 🆕👱🏻‍♀️. Darryl 👨🏿save life⛑. My big secret🙊: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good 👍surgeon. The best👌💯!
July 2019

Emoji Pasta

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Gr8 b8 m8

twitchquotes: Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8, I hope you r8 8/8 .. m8.
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

I'm so glad to be in the other 1 percent

twitchquotes: They say 9 out of 10 twitch users are dumb. I'm so glad to be in the other 1 percent
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Classic

BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY

twitchquotes: OpieOP BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY OpieOP LEAGUE OF LEGENDS I CANNOT PLAY OpieOP EU STAR PLAYERS I HAVE TO PAY OpieOP PROPER HEALTHCARE AN OCEAN AWAY OpieOP YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT OpieOP IM NA OpieOP
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

EU vs NA

MONTHLY PLEB TEST

twitchquotes: PLEASE COPY PASTE THIS FOR YOUR MONTHLY PLEB TEST: ✓ amazW ✓ krippW ✓ trumpW ✓ btsLdW ✓ reynadW ✓ kolentoW ✓ bajW ✓ btsKotlW ✓ dewW ✓ emjaneW ✓ forsenW ✓ krippW ✓ mitchW ✓ singsingFcuk ✓ reckW ✓ sodaW ✓ btsGodzW ✓ merliniHappyMerlini ✓ taymooW ✓ rtzW ✓ admiralW ✓ envySwag ✓ sumailKappa ✓ btsMerliniW ✓ wtrWtR ✓ dagerDendi ✓ ppdSalt ✓ fearGASM ✓ singsingP ✓ fluffyW ✓ ratW ✓ Pleb test passed
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing