In Japan π―π΅ , heart surgeon β€οΈπ¨ββοΈ . Number one πβοΈ . Steady handπ³βοΈ. One day, Yakuza boss ππ»need π heartπ. I do operationπͺβοΈ. But, mistakeπ±! Yakuza boss dieπ΅πͺ! Yakuza very madπΏ. I hideπ in fishing boatππ£π»ββοΈ, come to AmericaπππΊπΈ. No englishπ€, no foodπ©, no moneyππ«π². Darryl π¨πΏgive me jobππ¨π»βπΌ. Now I have houseπ‘, American car π , and new woman ππ±π»ββοΈ. Darryl π¨πΏsave lifeβ. My big secretπ: I kill β οΈyakuza boss on purposeπ. I good πsurgeon. The bestππ―!
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Now playing Who Asked (Feat: Nobody)
twitchquotes:
now α΄Κα΄ΚΙͺΙ΄Ι’: Who asked (Feat: Nobody) ββββββββββββͺββββββ βββ βββ βΊβΊ πΈ:π·πΎ / πΉ:π»πΌβ ββββ π
twitch chat
Classic
Who Asked?
QT's stream ends, so does my life
twitchquotes:
ΜΏ' ΜΏ'\Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ\ qt's stream ends, so does my life ΜΏ' ΜΏ'\Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ\
ΜΏ' ΜΏ'\Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ\ qt's stream ends, so does my life ΜΏ' ΜΏ'\Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ\
twitch chat
imaqtpie
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Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE
twitchquotes:
Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE ππΆ πππΆπππΆ CONGA LINE πππΆπππΆπππΆπππΆ πππΆπππΆ CONGA LINE πππΆπππΆπππΆπππΆ πππΆπππΆ CONGA LINE πππΆπππΆπππΆπππΆ πππΆπππΆ CONGA LINE πππΆπππΆπππΆ
twitch chat
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Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers
"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.