[Copypasta] Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub

twitchquotes: Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHubβ„’. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 4 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

KappaPride

Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Classic Copypastas

In Korea, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

Do not fear a man that spams 1000 memes

twitchquotes: MingLee Do not fear a man that spams 1000 memes, instead fear a man that spams a meme 1000 times MingLee
twitch chat
June 2016

Classic

Based? Based on what?

Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly
December 2020

Classic

Based

Watch out I'm driving (Truck)

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–Œβ–β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œ ───▄▄ β–ˆ Kappa WATCH OUT I'M DRIVING β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–Œ β–€(@)β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€(@)(@)β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€(@)β–€
ascii art
February 2017

Classic

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing