[Copypasta] Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub

twitchquotes: Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub™. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 4 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon

twitch chat

January 2019

Classic

KappaPride

Classic

KappaPride

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

More Classic Copypastas

Forgive English, I am Russia

forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.

July 2014

KappaPride

Classic

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.

April 2020

Classic

Surprised Pikachu

⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠿⠿⠻⠿⠿⠟⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢰⣹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣷⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢾⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣿⣷⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿

ascii art

April 2019

Classic

Pokemon

You've been gnomed

████████▓▓████████▓▓█████████████
██████▓▓█████████████▓███████████
█████▓███████████████▓███████████
████▓█████████████████▒██████████
████▓▓▓▒░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████
████▒▒░▒▒░▒▒▗▒▒▒▒▒▒▗▒▒▒██████████
████▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████
████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████
█████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃▒░░░▒▃▒▒███████████
██████▓▒▒▒▒▒▃▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃░▒▒█████████
███████▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░██████████
█████████▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████████
██████████░▒░░░░░░░░░░██▓▒▒▒▒▒▓▒▓
▓▓█████████████▒░░░▒████▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▓
▒▒▒▒▒▒▓███████████████████▒░░▒▒▒█
▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒█████████████▒████░▒████
█▒▒▒▓▓▒▒▒████████████▒███████████
███▓▒▓▓▒█████████████████████████
░░█▀▀░░█▄░█░█▀▀█░█▄░▄█░█▀▀░█▀▄
░░█░▀█░█░▀█░█░░█░█░▀░█░█▀▀░█░█
░░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀░▀▀▀▀░▀░░░▀░▀▀▀░▀▀░

ascii art

October 2018

Classic

████████▓▓████████▓▓█████████████ ██████▓▓█████████████▓███████████ █████▓███████████████▓███████████ ████▓█████████████████▒██████████ ████▓▓▓▒░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████ ████▒▒░▒▒░▒▒▗▒▒▒▒▒▒▗▒▒▒██████████ ████▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██████████ ████░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████ █████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃▒░░░▒▃▒▒███████████ ██████▓▒▒▒▒▒▃▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▃░▒▒█████████ ███████▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░██████████ █████████▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████████ ██████████░▒░░░░░░░░░░██▓▒▒▒▒▒▓▒▓ ▓▓█████████████▒░░░▒████▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▓███████████████████▒░░▒▒▒█ ▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒█████████████▒████░▒████ █▒▒▒▓▓▒▒▒████████████▒███████████ ███▓▒▓▓▒█████████████████████████ ░░█▀▀░░█▄░█░█▀▀█░█▄░▄█░█▀▀░█▀▄ ░░█░▀█░█░▀█░█░░█░█░▀░█░█▀▀░█░█ ░░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀░▀▀▀▀░▀░░░▀░▀▀▀░▀▀░

Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan 🇯🇵 , heart surgeon ❤️👨‍⚕️ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady hand😳✋️. One day, Yakuza boss 🙇🏻need 🆕 heart💘. I do operation🔪⚔️. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😵😪! Yakuza very mad👿. I hide🙈 in fishing boat🐟🚣🏻‍♀️, come to America🎇🎊🇺🇸. No english🤐, no food😩, no money📉🚫💲. Darryl 👨🏿give me job🙌👨🏻‍💼. Now I have house🏡, American car 🚗 , and new woman 🆕👱🏻‍♀️. Darryl 👨🏿save life⛑. My big secret🙊: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good 👍surgeon. The best👌💯!

July 2019

Emoji Pasta

Classic

More Classic Copypastas

Text-to-Speech Playing