It’s 2014, Matt is asleep in his bed - twisting and turning - as if stricken with nightmares. Visions of a dark future play within his mind, of a future where Woolie never leaves fighting games and defeats Daigo.
In this future, things are bleak. Since defeating Daigo in pools, Woolie has ascended to God Emperor of Montreal Planet (that’s what they call earth now) and no one can defeat him as his only rival, Pat, was defeated long ago. The only one with any chance is a humble smut writer by the name of Reggie. Reggie used to be goated at fighting games but gave it up to pursue the art of writing erotic fiction, which he was also goated at. Even with his skills at Street Fighter, Tekken, and all those other games dulled, he still fights against the tyranny of Woolie.
However, Woolie handily defeats Reggie with his jesters, Minh and Liam, cackling as Reggie is sent to the gulags of Old Maddentown. Now completely unopposed, Woolie takes his reign to the stars as Matt awakens in a cold sweat and a sharp burning pain in the palm of his hand.
Matt screams as the pain surges throughout his hand. And once it subsides, he opens his palm to see the words written on his scarred flesh.
“HE MUST WIN”
Submitted by:anonymous
It’s 2014, Matt is asleep in his bed - twisting and turning - as if stricken with nightmares. Visions of a dark future play within his mind, of a future where Woolie never leaves fighting games and defeats Daigo.
In this future, things are bleak. Since defeating Daigo in pools, Woolie has ascended to God Emperor of Montreal Planet (that’s what they call earth now) and no one can defeat him as his only rival, Pat, was defeated long ago. The only one with any chance is a humble smut writer by the name of Reggie. Reggie used to be goated at fighting games but gave it up to pursue the art of writing erotic fiction, which he was also goated at. Even with his skills at Street Fighter, Tekken, and all those other games dulled, he still fights against the tyranny of Woolie.
However, Woolie handily defeats Reggie with his jesters, Minh and Liam, cackling as Reggie is sent to the gulags of Old Maddentown. Now completely unopposed, Woolie takes his reign to the stars as Matt awakens in a cold sweat and a sharp burning pain in the palm of his hand.
Matt screams as the pain surges throughout his hand. And once it subsides, he opens his palm to see the words written on his scarred flesh.
“HE MUST WIN”
Did you really try to insult me? Roast me? Didn't work. That "roast" was so bland, so uncreative, and unoriginal, not a single muscle in my face twitched to form any human emotion, related to "angry" or "insulted". In fact, I was amused. I was amused at how somebody could have the nerve to legitimately post the most unfunny string of text seen anywhere on this page. I have seen this exact "roast" about 128 times. Was it supposed to be funny? I don't know, I didn't laugh either. If I recall correctly, some scientist has said, that before an individual laughs, their muscles usually twitch, and prepare to start laughing. Most of the time, as I didn't feel the slightest movement. In fact, I didn't open my mouth, make a sound, or feel a gust of wind coming out of my esophagus. Your attempt at "humor" was so unfunny that I am currently typing this out, in the hospital, diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and on life support. Honestly, I would have preferred it, if you had closed your mouth. Had the thought to "roast" someone, not come across your head, society as a whole would have been better. We would have gone to Mars, have flying cars, fixed climate change and poverty. Give yourself a pat in the back, thanks to you, society is a failure. You are a failure.
Submitted by:joaquinnn
Did you really try to insult me? Roast me? Didn't work. That "roast" was so bland, so uncreative, and unoriginal, not a single muscle in my face twitched to form any human emotion, related to "angry" or "insulted". In fact, I was amused. I was amused at how somebody could have the nerve to legitimately post the most unfunny string of text seen anywhere on this page. I have seen this exact "roast" about 128 times. Was it supposed to be funny? I don't know, I didn't laugh either. If I recall correctly, some scientist has said, that before an individual laughs, their muscles usually twitch, and prepare to start laughing. Most of the time, as I didn't feel the slightest movement. In fact, I didn't open my mouth, make a sound, or feel a gust of wind coming out of my esophagus. Your attempt at "humor" was so unfunny that I am currently typing this out, in the hospital, diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and on life support. Honestly, I would have preferred it, if you had closed your mouth. Had the thought to "roast" someone, not come across your head, society as a whole would have been better. We would have gone to Mars, have flying cars, fixed climate change and poverty. Give yourself a pat in the back, thanks to you, society is a failure. You are a failure.
So. It appears you have pranked someone. You have decieved them, tricked them, and they cannot trust you anymore. Otherwise known on the internet, as trolling. The poor individual probably has trust issues now, and it's all because of you. Why did you do it? The poor man is now in a trauma center, getting therapy, because you decided to do a little "trolling". You are an absolute failure. You should stop, think about your actions, and actually try to improve yourself. Think "trolling" someone is funning? You think doing a little tomfoolery, a little mental trickery, would have any sort of comedic value to it? It didn't. In fact, I didn't laugh, at all. I didn't feel a single gust of wind coming out of my mouth. Not even the slightest twitch of the muscle. You are sick. I hope you get therapy for what you did.
Submitted by:joaquinnn
So. It appears you have pranked someone. You have decieved them, tricked them, and they cannot trust you anymore. Otherwise known on the internet, as trolling. The poor individual probably has trust issues now, and it's all because of you. Why did you do it? The poor man is now in a trauma center, getting therapy, because you decided to do a little "trolling". You are an absolute failure. You should stop, think about your actions, and actually try to improve yourself. Think "trolling" someone is funning? You think doing a little tomfoolery, a little mental trickery, would have any sort of comedic value to it? It didn't. In fact, I didn't laugh, at all. I didn't feel a single gust of wind coming out of my mouth. Not even the slightest twitch of the muscle. You are sick. I hope you get therapy for what you did.
AITA for slamming a child in the stomach with a metal pipe at the grocery store the other day? Hear me out. I was buying my groceries as usual, and as I am checking out this beautiful can of tomato sauce, I stumbled upon a child, maybe 5 to 6 years old. He looked up at me, and asked his mom, "MOM I WANT THAT CAN OF TOMATO SAUCE!". So, I start to argue with this kid and his mom. He doesn't have the right to call dibs on anything he wants in the grocery store. If I found it first, it's MINE. I don't care what this kid's mom has to say, this kid can't just steal my rightfully owned can of tomato sauce like that. All the anger I have been holding for the past few weeks, ever since my wife left me, ever since my mother kicked me out of her house, was all let out, and I pull out my trusty metal pipe that I've been keeping in my backpack just in case, pick up the child, throw it in the air, and slam it with my metal pipe as hard as I can. The kid goes flying into the toothpaste aisle of the grocery store, crying. His mother starts screaming at me, and threatens to call the police. I don't care. I would rather keep my can of tomato sauce, it is rightfully mine. I have all the right in the world to slam him with a metal pipe. Few hours later, I was brought into the interrogation room. I did it in self-defense. I do not regret it.
Submitted by:joaquinnn
AITA for slamming a child in the stomach with a metal pipe at the grocery store the other day
AITA for slamming a child in the stomach with a metal pipe at the grocery store the other day? Hear me out. I was buying my groceries as usual, and as I am checking out this beautiful can of tomato sauce, I stumbled upon a child, maybe 5 to 6 years old. He looked up at me, and asked his mom, "MOM I WANT THAT CAN OF TOMATO SAUCE!". So, I start to argue with this kid and his mom. He doesn't have the right to call dibs on anything he wants in the grocery store. If I found it first, it's MINE. I don't care what this kid's mom has to say, this kid can't just steal my rightfully owned can of tomato sauce like that. All the anger I have been holding for the past few weeks, ever since my wife left me, ever since my mother kicked me out of her house, was all let out, and I pull out my trusty metal pipe that I've been keeping in my backpack just in case, pick up the child, throw it in the air, and slam it with my metal pipe as hard as I can. The kid goes flying into the toothpaste aisle of the grocery store, crying. His mother starts screaming at me, and threatens to call the police. I don't care. I would rather keep my can of tomato sauce, it is rightfully mine. I have all the right in the world to slam him with a metal pipe. Few hours later, I was brought into the interrogation room. I did it in self-defense. I do not regret it.
动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门
Submitted by:Xi Jinping
动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门
didn't ask + ratio + you fell off + cope + get good + ez clap + cancelled + cringe + stay mad + no bitches + L + bozo + touch grass + didn't ask + ratio + you fell off + cope + get good + ez clap + cancelled + cringe + stay mad + no bitches + L + bozo + touch grass + didn't ask + ratio + you fell off + cope + get good + ez clap + cancelled + cringe + stay mad + no bitches + L + bozo + touch grass +
Submitted by:ratio
ratio
didn't ask + ratio + you fell off + cope + get good + ez clap + cancelled + cringe + stay mad + no bitches + L + bozo + touch grass + didn't ask + ratio + you fell off + cope + get good + ez clap + cancelled + cringe + stay mad + no bitches + L + bozo + touch grass + didn't ask + ratio + you fell off + cope + get good + ez clap + cancelled + cringe + stay mad + no bitches + L + bozo + touch grass +
The drawstrings of my pants just flopped directly into a urinal. Wtf do I even do now? I’ve been walking around like I’m wearing a diaper cause I don’t want them to touch me. “Cut em off” I don’t have access to scissors. Even if I did, Imagine walking into a store going “can I borrow some scissors?” To then just cut the tops off your pants drawstrings and hand em back saying “you should probably clean those.” Not gonna happen.
Submitted by:anonymous
The drawstrings of my pants just flopped directly into a urinal. Wtf do I even do now? I’ve been walking around like I’m wearing a diaper cause I don’t want them to touch me. “Cut em off” I don’t have access to scissors. Even if I did, Imagine walking into a store going “can I borrow some scissors?” To then just cut the tops off your pants drawstrings and hand em back saying “you should probably clean those.” Not gonna happen.
ᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝬᝬᝬᝬᝬ ᝩᝩᝩ ᝩᝩᝩ ᝩᝩᝩᝩᝩYou are banned from Chat. ᝮᝪ ᝬᝦᝪᝬᝬᝬᝬᝬ ᝩᝩᝩᝩᝩᝩ ᝩᝩᝩᝩᝩ ᝩᝩᝩᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝩᝩᝬᝦᝪᝩᝬᝦᝢᝢ ᝢ ᝢ ᝢ You are unable to participate in this channel's ᝢᝬ chat until a moderator unbans you. ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝩᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮ ᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ
Submitted by:anonymous
ᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝬᝬᝬᝬᝬ ᝩᝩᝩ ᝩᝩᝩ ᝩᝩᝩᝩᝩYou are banned from Chat. ᝮᝪ ᝬᝦᝪᝬᝬᝬᝬᝬ ᝩᝩᝩᝩᝩᝩ ᝩᝩᝩᝩᝩ ᝩᝩᝩᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝩᝩᝬᝦᝪᝩᝬᝦᝢᝢ ᝢ ᝢ ᝢ You are unable to participate in this channel's ᝢᝬ chat until a moderator unbans you. ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝩᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮ ᝮᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ ᝧᝩᝢᝫᝬᝪᝮᝪᝪᝦᝢᝬᝩᝦᝬᝩ ᝦᝩᝬᝩᝬᝦᝪᝢ
DeleteReport bopbeebo Find the 9: h66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 9 66666666666666666666 Once u found the nine, close your left hand. Make a wish. Choose any day of the week. Open your hand. Forward this to 5 other Scratchers and your wish will come true on the day you chose. : ) about 4 hours ago Reply
Submitted by:anonymous
Once u found the nine, close your left hand. Make a wish. Choose any day of the week. Open your hand. Forward this to 5 other Scratchers and your wish will come true on the day you chose. : ) about 4 hours ago Reply
DeleteReport bopbeebo Find the 9: h66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 9 66666666666666666666 Once u found the nine, close your left hand. Make a wish. Choose any day of the week. Open your hand. Forward this to 5 other Scratchers and your wish will come true on the day you chose. : ) about 4 hours ago Reply
After being a juicer for the past 3 years, I have decided to move on. I get bullied for being a "juicer"; my middle school classmates blasphemies Mr cow by mimicking the "much-love" gesture and calling me a "juicer" in a soy boy manner. I just can't take it anymore, and what crossed the line was today when they started calling me "parasocial". I love xQc, we are best friends, and I spend around 10 hours a day with an 11-month online watch time as well as a whole year of offline chat just for him to read my messages. Nevertheless, if you think idolizing X is parasocial, you need to get a grip. He loves me and I love him, xqcL I enjoyed my stay.
Submitted by:xQc
enjoyed my stay xqcL
After being a juicer for the past 3 years, I have decided to move on. I get bullied for being a "juicer"; my middle school classmates blasphemies Mr cow by mimicking the "much-love" gesture and calling me a "juicer" in a soy boy manner. I just can't take it anymore, and what crossed the line was today when they started calling me "parasocial". I love xQc, we are best friends, and I spend around 10 hours a day with an 11-month online watch time as well as a whole year of offline chat just for him to read my messages. Nevertheless, if you think idolizing X is parasocial, you need to get a grip. He loves me and I love him, xqcL I enjoyed my stay.
Giga chad
Submitted by:anonymous
Giga chad
Pepe
Submitted by:anonymous
Pepe
xd
Submitted by:anonymous
xd
Hand reading is a scam, ball reading would be legit though. Oh by "ball reading" i mean male balls(testicles), not that ball that witches use for divination. I swear when I look at my scrotum twisting and turning ever so subtly creating intricate patterns and reforming itself every second...I feel like there has to be something more to this!
Submitted by:cyber_punk_oo7
Hand reading is a scam, ball reading would be legit though. Oh by "ball reading" i mean male balls(testicles), not that ball that witches use for divination. I swear when I look at my scrotum twisting and turning ever so subtly creating intricate patterns and reforming itself every second...I feel like there has to be something more to this!
MAD, aka “Mexican Airport Departure”, is a European league of legends team that is often ridiculed for their inability to get out of play ins. They are specifically known for making it to worlds without winning a single best of 5.
Submitted by:anonymous
This pasta gained popularity after EG 3-0'd MAD in a best of 5.
MAD, aka “Mexican Airport Departure”, is a European league of legends team that is often ridiculed for their inability to get out of play ins. They are specifically known for making it to worlds without winning a single best of 5.
One time I was in a pet store, wearing my pet store employee cosplay, when this incredibly short man approached me and said "Do you guys sell the thing? Do you know where I can get the object?" and I said "I don't work here" then he immediately started to mutter about my facial hair under his breath. It sounded like he was saying "bet you feel so tall under that moustache, don't you?" I felt really uncomfortable,
My girlfriend asked him "Are you Jerma?" (I didnt know she knew some guy named "Jerma" before this point) and he crossed his eyes & stuck his teeth out saying "Duhhhh what's a Jerma???" and she blushed and said "you know, like from twitch?" and he started jerking around, twitching sort of, and asked "What's twitch?" and she stopped and stared at him. She seemed to be kind of excited. He seemed emboldened by this. After a little while he said "Look at me" and threw a tennis ball from the shelf next to him at me. It looked like he tried to throw it really hard but he kind of just flicked it at me with his fingers. Then he just left. My girlfriend couldnt stop thinking about him after that day. She said he was a badder boy than I'll ever be.
Submitted by:anonymous
One time I was in a pet store, wearing my pet store employee cosplay, when this incredibly short man approached me and said "Do you guys sell the thing? Do you know where I can get the object?" and I said "I don't work here" then he immediately started to mutter about my facial hair under his breath. It sounded like he was saying "bet you feel so tall under that moustache, don't you?" I felt really uncomfortable,
My girlfriend asked him "Are you Jerma?" (I didnt know she knew some guy named "Jerma" before this point) and he crossed his eyes & stuck his teeth out saying "Duhhhh what's a Jerma???" and she blushed and said "you know, like from twitch?" and he started jerking around, twitching sort of, and asked "What's twitch?" and she stopped and stared at him. She seemed to be kind of excited. He seemed emboldened by this. After a little while he said "Look at me" and threw a tennis ball from the shelf next to him at me. It looked like he tried to throw it really hard but he kind of just flicked it at me with his fingers. Then he just left. My girlfriend couldnt stop thinking about him after that day. She said he was a badder boy than I'll ever be.
Did you know that EG’s motto “live evil” was inspired by DFM’s top laner, Evi handing them an L?
Submitted by:anonymous
Did you know that EG’s motto “live evil” was inspired by DFM’s top laner, Evi handing them an L?