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Where are the DPS heroes

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I’m new to overwatch. Is there a reason that they aren’t using any damage heroes? How are they supposed to get kills without dps? Are they deleted or banned or something?
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena

twitchquotes: KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena and pry their dirty leeching talons from your spine. that app is complete trash and the only reason the meta is the way the meta is, is because literally every drooling fucking noob uses that app and just mindleslly picks whatever cards they recomend. DELETE that SHIT and start forging a new meta with your skill and creativity. you have a high IQ but you arent fucking using it. youre being sapped kripp
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Pokemon Marathon Season 3 Intermission

twitchquotes: IT'S HERACROSS ResidentSleeper THIS LOOKS BAD ResidentSleeper WINDS OF NEW BEGINNINGS ResidentSleeper GLIGARMAN ResidentSleeper LOOK, TOGEPI ResidentSleeper RETURN EVERYBODY ResidentSleeper IT'S SUPER EXPENSIVE ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
September 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

Oh, so you support your girlfriend?

twitchquotes: Oh, so you support your girlfriend? You simp. Okay Homer SIMPson. You absolute simpanzee. OOO OOO OO OO EE EE OO 🐒 <- that is you. You are nothing but sludge . You are putrid muck given form, weakness personified. I am not sympathetic. You are simp pathetic.
twitch chat
April 2020

Simps

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

This valorant team is fantastic, they just need to work on

twitchquotes: [INSERT TEAM NAME] is fantastic, they just need to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, eco management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, spray, skills use, control and getting kills
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

How do you unlock the coin card?

twitchquotes: Dear Forsen I'm trying to copy your godly Deck but I'm having a hard time finding the card "The Coin." If you could specify how I unlock this card it would be much appreciated. Please no copy pasterino
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."
September 2021

NSFW

A fine capitalist girl

twitchquotes: I may be✊ a communist 🚩⚒⭐️ but if i see👀 a fine 💯👌😩 capitalist 💰🇺🇸 girl 👱‍♀️ you bet😤🙌 imma be tryna seize 👐 the means of dat booty 🍑🍆💦💯
twitch chat
April 2019

Emoji Pasta

As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen

twitchquotes: As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen, I begin to contemplate reality. What truly has substance in this realm of technology, avarice and sin? What is our future, if not a blank, hollow nothing, rife with silence and strife? PogChamp
twitch chat
January 2018

Overwatch

I used to be a real ad

I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, “Why, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

A woman and a redditor?

A woman and a redditor? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt * ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO FUCK inhales from the gas tank honka honka honka honka ~masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~
August 2021

Simps

Spam Bob Ross To Prevent A Zackray Loss

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob Spam CoolStoryBob Bob CoolStoryBob Ross CoolStoryBob to CoolStoryBob prevent CoolStoryBob a CoolStoryBob Zackray CoolStoryBob loss CoolStoryBob
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

Among us has ruined a generation

Among us has ruined a generation. Everywhere I go, I see their divisor. It can't be stopped. I go shopping and I find among us mini figures. I look online for a better bin, and then I find a trash can with a red colour, and I can't stop myself saying "HAHA THATS A BIT SUSSY!" I look for champion clothes, but hold on- if you rotate the c it turns into- oh no... Gen Z wont stop saying a sentence without the word SUS in it. SOS? SUS. I go to Mcdonalds to cheer myself up, but while browsing through my phone, I find that a nugget in the shape of AMOGUS sold for over $1000 dollars, I only wanted peace, but innersloth has become a bit sussy.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

No girlfriend. No friends. No talents.

twitchquotes: 4Head No girlfriend 4Head No friends 4Head No talents 4Head Saturday night alone 4Head Wasting time on Twitch 4Head Watching a dead game 4Head Reading the chat more than the stream 4Head Spamming pastas brainlessly 4Head Must be me
twitch chat
September 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Colossal amount of educational content

twitchquotes: What is this painful experience you’re inflicting upon us, Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana? I personally am not attending to this League of Legends stream to be witness to this truly horrendous game known as the «Dark Dungeons". I came for magnificent memes, incredibly pleasurable Skyrim questing, and exciting League of Legends games with a colossal amount of educational content.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

i play fortnite everyday, all day

twitchquotes: i play fortnite everyday, all day. without it, i wouldn’t be who i am today. fortnite is by far the best game ever in existence. if you don’t play it, then your obviously some broke, stupid piece of shit who doesn’t have a life. i am level 100 and have bought all the skins available at the moment. stop making fun of fortnite you assholes. i bet that you don’t even have a good skin or pickaxe you sad little cunt. you need to step your game the fuck up or else ill block you on every social media app my parents will allow me to have.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Are you ready for my demolisher?

twitchquotes: Reynad moaned softly as Hyp3d pressed up against him. "Are you ready for my demolisher?" quipped Hyp3d. Reynad gave a short gasp "B-But it's too early, you don’t have enough mana!" Hyp3d shyly replies, "I've got a Coin-dom right here."
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

All Cops Are Sus (ACAS)

Instead of saying ACAB(all cops are bastar*ds) we should start saying ACAS(all cops are sus). Think about it, it's less offensive and it only shows that we think that a cop might be sus(suspicious) of something but not necesseraly guilty of it. It's the same thing in the popular game amogus with thinking that all red players are impostors really. This might sound stupid but hear me out. Statistically, every player regardless of their color has the same chance of being the impostor, yet, there is this social stigma that only red players are impostors. However, players of Amugus have developed this great system that will help them show their suspicion on someone without saying that they are the impostor(in case that they actually aren't). They say that someone is 'sus' so nobody gets their feelings hurt. We can apply this knowledge to the real world, right? If everyone can be an impostor in amongsus, regardless of their color, so can anyone be a bastard in real world, regardless of their task(job as some low inteligence individuals might call it).
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing