[Copypasta] Kangaroos vs Uruguayans

This does not change the fact that in Australia there are 48 million kangaroos and in Uruguay there are 3,457,380 inhabitants. So if the kangaroos decide to invade Uruguay, each Uruguayan will have to fight 14 kangaroos...
October 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

you only go for the easiest most OP builds

twitchquotes: Hello, I've noticed that you only go for the easiest most OP builds, but you play them suboptimally. As a High Elo ( Plat III ) TFT player and a Certified TFT Coach, I could help you with a few of your mistakes, missplays. Hit me up, first hour is free!
twitch chat
September 2019

League of Legends

Smoke weed everyday

twitchquotes: ╭━━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰━━┳╮╭┳━━┫┃╭┳━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰━━╮┃╰╯┃╭╮┃╰╯┫┃━┫╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰━╯┃┃┃┃╰╯┃╭╮┫┃━┫╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰━━━┻┻┻┻━━┻╯╰┻━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╭╮╭╮╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃┃┃┃┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃┃┃┃┃┣━━┳━━┳━╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ┃╰╯╰╯┃┃━┫┃━┫╭╮┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╰╮╭╮╭┫┃━┫┃━┫╰╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╱╰╯╰╯╰━━┻━━┻━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱ ╭━━━╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮ ┃╭━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃ ┃╰━━┳╮╭┳━━┳━┳╮╱╭┳━╯┣━━┳╮╱╭╮┃┃ ┃╭━━┫╰╯┃┃━┫╭┫┃╱┃┃╭╮┃╭╮┃┃╱┃┃╰╯ ┃╰━━╋╮╭┫┃━┫┃┃╰━╯┃╰╯┃╭╮┃╰━╯┃╭╮ ╰━━━╯╰╯╰━━┻╯╰━╮╭┻━━┻╯╰┻━╮╭╯╰╯ ╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭━╯┃╱╱╱╱╱╱╭━╯┃ ╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╰━━╯╱╱╱╱╱╱╰━━╯
twitch chat
June 2016
imaqtpie

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Kripp's mods put Stalin to shame

twitchquotes: ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ Nᴏsᴛʀᴏᴠʏᴀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, Tʜɪs ɪs Cᴏᴍʀᴀᴅᴇ Sᴛᴀʟɪɴ ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ 1952. I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ I ᴡᴀs ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ Gʀᴇᴀᴛ Pᴜʀɢᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴘᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀᴍᴇ. I'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴄʀᴜɪᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ʀᴜɴ ᴍʏ ɢᴜʟᴀɢs. Bᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ Rᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀɴ Dᴇᴀᴅ ☭ ☭☭ ☭
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Nice hack QVC!

twitchquotes: Nice hack QVC! We all know you are hacking there is no way you would be able to guess all this! Thanks for everything im unfollowing. I hope you mommy never bakes you cookies again. 5up 4 life! HAHA ZOOMERS MALDING!
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing