[Copypasta] Kangaroos vs Uruguayans

This does not change the fact that in Australia there are 48 million kangaroos and in Uruguay there are 3,457,380 inhabitants. So if the kangaroos decide to invade Uruguay, each Uruguayan will have to fight 14 kangaroos...
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth ~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€~โ€ข ~โ€ข ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I think my boss might be a communist

I think my boss might be a communist. So a while ago, I got my first paycheck at my new job at a fast food place. I guess it wasn't too bad, but I did the math and figured out that I sold a lot more food per hour than I got paid for, even when you account for the price of the food. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said we're all part of one big team, but some people get paid more than others. This is suspiciously close to the famous "some are more equal than others" from my favorite book, Animal Farm and is what really got me thinking about this. We make the money, and then he takes it and gives it to someone who doesn't even work! I'm not economist, but this is textbook socialism. I think I've come to the conclusion that the best way for me to combat these socialist business practices would be teaming up with my fellow workers unify our power and demonstrate that we understand the full value of our labor. Anyone else have similar experiences with obviously Marxist bosses before, or any other advice?
May 2021

Whoโ€™s Joe? Joe Momma

"Whoโ€™s joe?" a distant voice asks. Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location. The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar. โ€Joe Mommaโ€ฆโ€ the creature whispered. The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear. "I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.
September 2021

Classic

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Navy Seal Copypasta in uwu

What t-t-the fuck did you just fucking s-say about me, you little bitch!? I'll have you knyow I gwaduated t-top of my cwass in t-t-the Navy Seaws, and I've been invowved in nyumewous secwet raids on Aw-Quaeda, and I have uvw 300 confirmed k-kiwws. I am twainyed in gorilla wawfawe and I'm t-t-the t-top snyiper in t-t-the entiwe US armed forces. You awe n-nyothing t-to me but just anyothew tawget. I wiww wipe you t-t-the fuck out with pwecision t-t-the wikes of which has nyevew been seen befowe on this Eawth, mawk my fucking words. You think you c-can get away with saying that shit t-to me uvw t-t-the I-Intewnyet?!?1 Think again, fuckew. As w-w-we speak I am contacting my secwet nyetwork of spies acwoss t-t-the USA and youw IP is b-being twaced right nyow so you better pwepawe fow t-t-the stowm, maggot. T-The stowm that wipes out t-t-the pathetic little thing you caww youw life. Y-You'we fucking dead, kid. I c-can be anywhewe, anytime, and I c-can k-kiww you in uvw seven hundwed w-ways, and t-t-that's just with my bawe hands. N-Nyot only am I extensivewy twainyed in unyawmed combat, but I have access t-to t-t-the entiwe awsenyaw of t-t-the Unyited States M-Marinye Cowps and I wiww use i-it t-to its fuww extent t-to wipe youw misewabwe a-ass off t-t-the face of t-t-the continyent, you little shit. If only you could have k-knyown what unhowy retribution youw little "clever" comment was about t-to bring d-d-down upon y-you, maybe you w-wouwd have h-hewd youw fucking tongue. But you couwdn't, you didn't, and nyow you're paying t-t-the pwice, you g-goddamn i-idiot. I wiww shit fury all uvw you and you wiww dwown in i-it. Y-You'we fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2022

Navy Seal

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