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The Cocklock Deck

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, its the "cocklock" you just beat. I'm on the phone with my mom right now, and she isn't very happy with you. She is coming over now to comfort me, and then we are going to have to report you to the police. I hope you enjoy jail.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

My eyelids are heavy

twitchquotes: My eyelids are heavy ResidentSleeper Im starting to dream ResidentSleeper you know what this tells me? ResidentSleeper its a qtpie stream ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
November 2018
imaqtpie
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Any advice, Dad?

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Tʏʀᴏɴᴇ, ᴜʀ sᴏɴ. Mʏ ᴍᴏᴍ, Lᴀǫᴜɪsʜᴀ, ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏᴛ ᴋɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ Cᴀɴᴀᴅɪᴀɴ ᴇʟᴇᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʀʏ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ғᴏʀ sᴀʏɪɴɢ "F*ᴄᴋ" ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴜ. Oʀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ғᴏʀ ʏᴇʟʟɪɴɢ "RIP" ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴘᴜɴᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ...ᴀɴʏ ᴀᴅᴠɪᴄᴇ, Dᴀᴅ?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019

We are Kappa

twitchquotes: WE ARE KAPPA , KAPPA LIVES IN OUR SOUL AND WE WILL PRAY HIM DAY AND NIGHT FOR THE DONGERINOS HEARTHSTONERINOS FROM DUMBLANDIA THANKS FOR HEARD AND SORRY FOR BAD ENGLAND KAPPA
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
What happened to this ad? :(

Kripp subscribes to life

twitchquotes: I unsubscribed from life to watch Kripparian, devoted and subscribed myself to him, his channel; how am I repaid? Kripp betrays me, subscribing himself to LIFE! i’m sorry Kripp, but THIS MONTH you aren’t getting your dongers, UNSUBBED.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

rraaiissee yyoouurr ddoonnggeerrss

twitchquotes: ヽヽ༼༼ຈຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ rraaiissee yyoouurr ddoonnggeerrss ヽヽ༼༼ຈຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Little Donger and the BDC

twitchquotes: Qtpie I need help. I have a little donger so I am unable to join the BDC. Please send help and advice otherwise I will forever be a part of the small donger squad. Promote me from the SDS to the BDC please it is all I have ever wanted.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

Dongerino goes all bongerino didgeridoo over my keyboard

twitchquotes: When Kripp gives me the stare, my dongerino goes all bongerino didgeridoo over my keyboard.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Rania came to the wrong dongerhood

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD, RANIA ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Papparian returns from a business trip

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

RIP Kattarian

twitchquotes: 2003-2014 R I P Kattarian, you will be missed. I know Kripp would do unspeakable sexual things to you off stream and he killed you in a salt rage after getting top decked and then tells us that you are "temporarily gone" but just know this, chat loved you and we know you're in a better place safe from Kripp's evil
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

If you can press ctrl+v you can have dongers anytime!

twitchquotes: ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ Dongers in the morning, dongers in the evening, dongers at suppertime. If you can press ctrl+v you can have dongers anytime! ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I am Admiral Akbar, commander of the Somalian Piraterinos

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Floating in a pool of casualness

twitchquotes: Fᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ʀᴏᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ʀᴀɴᴋs.. Fʟᴏᴀᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴘᴏᴏʟ ᴏғ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟɴᴇss.. Fᴀᴄɪɴɢ ᴇɴᴅʟᴇss sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍs ᴏғ ɴᴏᴏʙs.. Wʜᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ᴇxᴀᴄᴛʟʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡɪɴ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

OGN's mods

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ OGN, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Hɪᴛʟᴇʀ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ғʀᴏᴍ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴅᴏ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴊᴏʙ ᴏғ ᴄᴀʀʀʏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ʙᴇʟɪᴇғs.
twitch chat
March 2014
OGN Hearthstone

Kripp fills me completely with value

twitchquotes: I stayed up all night, dreaming of this moment. My pulse is racing. Discarded salt packets and OJ cartons are strewn across the filthy bedroom floor. "Oh look it's another sub," says the Kripp. I am now fully erect. "Welcome to the five dollar club, bro" I barely hear as a single tear runs down my cheek while Kripp's fist fills me completely with value.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY THE SPOOKY SKELETON

twitchquotes: YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY THE SPOOKY SKELETON, REPOST THIS 3 TIMES IN THE NEXT 2 SECONDS OR YOU WILL BE VISITED BY A SPOOKY SKELETON TONIGHT! 95% OF PEOPLE WILL NOT POST THIS….. AND THEY WILL BECOME SKELETON…..
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

The Dead Sea is one of the world's saltiest bodies of water

twitchquotes: The Dead Sea is a salt lake bordering Jordan to the east, and Israel and the West Bank to the west. It is also one of the world's saltiest bodies of water. It is 9.6 times as salty as the ocean.[6] This salinity makes for a harsh environment in which all but one animal can flourish, hence its name. The only creature that can live in such high salinity levels is Reynard. He is also the reason for the dead seas high salinity.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing