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262 copypastas found.

Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian. Its Becky from the Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department. Although "E-Sports" has indeed become mainstream, we unfortunately have declined your application to be on an episode of Sesame Street. We have already filmed the episode where "K" is the letter of the day. Thank you for your interest.
twitch chat
October 2015
Kripp

Stream snipers

twitchquotes: One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, “Alright, but catch and release only – I’m vegan.” They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, “Get down!”. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, “Fucking stream snipers.”
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

You need a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Classic

Shane Dawson tweet - i didnt fuck my cat

i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible. (1/?)
March 2019

Classic

Bongo cat 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣶⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⣀⡀⣠⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣶⣿⣦⣜⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⡏⣴⣺⣦⣙⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣯⡇⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣬⣥⣭⣽⣿⣿⣧⣼⡇⣯⣇⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀
April 2021

Your "Twitch Viewer Bot" subscription will soon expire

twitchquotes: nl_Kripp your "Twitch Viewer Bot" subscription will soon expire to continue using our services please renew your account by logging into your account and from the home page go to: My account > Viewbot Status > Renew subscription. This message will repeat until the end of your subscription in 72 hours. Thank you for your dedicated service.
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Viewbots

Classic

Why is your cat at school today Kripp?

twitchquotes: The teacher asked Kripp, "Why is your cat at school today Kripp?" Kripp replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Kripp leaves for school today!'
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Because it's a cool cat

twitchquotes: CoolCat FORCED CoolCat TO CoolCat SPAM CoolCat THIS CoolCat EMOTE CoolCat BECAUSE CoolCat ITS CoolCat A CoolCat COOL CoolCat CAT CoolCat
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Bongo cat 1

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣦⣀⡀⠀⢀⣴⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣯⣭⣬⣉⣽⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁ ⠘⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2021

Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

Cute / Satisfied cat

⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣩⣉⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣶⣕⣈⠹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣛⢋⣰⠣⣿⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⡝⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⢏⣿⣿⣋⣀⣈⣻⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣿⡐⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢩⣝⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠿⠦⠀⠸⠿⣻⣿⡄⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⣿⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

This player is fantastic

twitchquotes: This [insert CSGO team or player here] is fantastic. Just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting a kill.
twitch chat
July 2020

Classic

CSGO

Mango Bay CoolCat

twitchquotes: CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat
twitch chat
January 2017

Dota 2

Hello Michael, this is your cat, "small cat"

twitchquotes: Hello Michael, this is your cat, "small cat", since you don't listen to my cries I decided to contact you on this twitch chat. If you don't feed me right now im going to shit in your shoes tonight, fuccboi. Your loving "small cat"
twitch chat
May 2015
imaqtpie

The Bible is an amazing manga

The Bible is an amazing manga. Chapters 1-5 were written by this guy named Moses but for some reason the author changed around. Abram is definitely my favorite character although for some reason they retconned his name to be Abraham, and in some regional publications his name is Ibrahim. The best ship is Abram x Sarah. Also, they totally nailed the new testament chapter, with some great character development. I never expected Judas' betrayal either.
April 2020

Weebs

CoolCat

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⡏⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⠤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣇⢋⠟⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⢧⣤⣀⣀⠀ ⢠⡖⠉⠴⢾⣿⡿⠋⠐⠈⢹⣿⣇⠢⡎⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⣿⣿⡇ ⢸⠁⠀⣃⣀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀ ⠈⡇⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⢰⡀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠚⣠⣔⣶⠀⢀⡘⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⢿⡆⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠐⠲⠶⠒⠋⠁⢾⡎⠻⠉⠡⠾⠋⣀⡈⠙⢒⣒⠠⠤⣤⣖⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⡀⠀⢋⠉⠀⠁⠀⠐⠐⠲⣶⣶⣿⠧⠁⢀⠶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⣙⢿⣷⣼⣛⠿⡷⠶⢶⣶⡾⢟⡋⢅⠀⠀⠀⢈⣁⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⣠⣿⣿⣯⣭⣽⣿⡿⠛⠻⢿⣿⣯⣧⡨⣮⡶⡤⠢⠽⠽⠿⣿⣿⣷⣿ ⠀⠀⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣤⠉⢹⣯⣿⣜⣟⠊⠁⠀⣰⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢼⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢹⣿⡿⡵⣴⡌⠋⡟⠿⠎⡓⠞⠏⠙⠉⣉⣄⣼⣶
October 2020

Cursed Cat

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⠿⣿⣿⡿⣷⡀⠸⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣆⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣶⣿⠁⠀⣠⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣁⣤⣴⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢿⠁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2021

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING 😱😎 Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff ☺️ to my impostor body pillow, 😱 but when I came, 👻 I started floating, 😱 and think I got teleported into the skeld. 😮 I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.🤤 🍑 🍑 I immediately was transported back to earth, 😭 and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, 🤪 as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter 💪 “IM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTER” I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me 🤤 but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. 😔😒🙁☹️ She then said I was going to a magical place called the “mental asylum” 🤔 I’m not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC 😮
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Dr DisRespect's speech

twitchquotes: let's talk about about me, let's talk about the 6'8 frame the 37 in verticle leap...the black steel that drapes down my back aka the bullet proof mullet, the google prototype scopes with built in LCD LED 1080p 3D sony technology. The Ethiopian poisonous catapillar aka SLICK DADDY. lets talk about the cabinets right behind me that go 40ft deep that house the other 95% of my trophies, the awards, the certificates, all claiming first place, right? Let me give you a little inside glimpse into the hotshot, video game life style of the two time of the international video game superstar. because thats what the channels about, thats what this domain is about, that is what society is about. you are looking at the new face of twitch and GODDAMN is twitch lucky... thats just off the top of my head
twitch chat
November 2018
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