[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

FORSEN TAKE THE WHEEL

twitchquotes: (β—‰β—‘β—”)οΎ‰βœ‡ FORSEN TAKE THE WHEEL (β—‰β—‘β—”)οΎ‰βœ‡, βœ‡οΎ‰(β—”β—‘β—‰) ןǝǝΙ₯ʍ ǝΙ₯Κ‡ ʞooΚ‡ uǝsΙΉoɟ βœ‡οΎ‰(β—”β—‘β—‰)\
twitch chat
March 2016
Forsen

What if we make Firelands Portal a common?

twitchquotes: "How did Kripp get 12 wins?" Ben Brode demanded at the board meeting. "You were supposed to be monitoring him, Charlie." "Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. He was streaming some boring action-RPG earlier today." Ben Brode frowned. "The salt shortage is cutting into our profits. We're going to need a solution, quick." Sarah raised her hand. "What if we make Firelands Portal a common?"
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Keanu Reeves you're breathtaking

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β£°β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β’€β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‹β €β €β €β €β €β ™β €β ™β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β’³β’€β €β €β € β €β €β£ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’€ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⠸⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠒⠐⠀⠀Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⑿⠀⠒⣋⣙⑒⒰⠀⠀⣖⠒Ⓘ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ Ⓔ⣿⣿⣿⣿⒀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠸⠀⑇⠉⠉⠀Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀ β €β ™β£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β’»β €β €β €β €β €β  β €β °β €β €β €β£Έβ Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ °β € β €β €β €β Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β €β‘ β ™β£²β£”β£…β’‘β£°β£·β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β €β €β € β €β €β €β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ €β‘Ώβ ­β ­β ­β ­β’Ώβ €β£Ώβ’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ €β €β € β €β €β €β ™β ›β£Ώβ’»β Ήβ£Ώβ β ™β ›β Ÿβ ‰β’€β£΄β‘Ÿβ’Ώβ£Ώβ‘β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘Ÿβ €β €β »β£¦β£€β£Άβ Ύβ ‹β €β €β β‘¦β’„β’€β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀①⠁⑇⠑⒄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁ β €β ”β Šβ β €β €β£‡β €β €β €β ‘β‘€β €β’Žβ β €β €β‘˜β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’’β  β €β‘ β’†β €β €β‘ β ™β’„β €β‘Έβ €β €β €β €β €β € You're breathtaking
July 2019

A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says β€œSorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
February 2021

Rooster

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β—β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€ ░░░░▐░░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▄░░▀▄▄▄░▄ ░░░░▐░░░░▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄░▄▄▀▀ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–„β–Œβ–Œ
February 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing