[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I once had sleep paralysis

twitchquotes: i once had sleep paralysis and i imagined Kripparian slowly slithering up to me and i felt the brush of his wirey beard press against my chest and his boulder-like face was a miillimeter away from mine and he whispered "..He had the perfect cerds" then drained all my RNG power right out of my chest. I cried for days.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Fail Whale

β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–Œ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–Œβ–„β–β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–Œβ–„β–β–β–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–Œ β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
December 2017

Cybrix and Head Chef of Dominos

twitchquotes: OpieOP OpieOPγ€€οΌ¨ο½…ο½Œο½Œο½γ€€οΌ£ο½™ο½‚ο½’ο½‰ο½˜οΌŒγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€οΌ¨ο½…ο½ο½„γ€€οΌ£ο½ˆο½…ο½†γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€οΌ€ο½ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½ο½“β„’γ€€ο½—ο½…γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½Žο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½…ο½„γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½…ο½Žβ€™ο½”γ€€ο½ο½’ο½„ο½…ο½’ο½…ο½„γ€€ο½†ο½ο½’γ€€οΌ’γ€€ο½„ο½ο½™ο½“οΌŒγ€€ο½—ο½…β€™ο½’ο½…γ€€ο½Šο½•ο½“ο½”γ€€ο½ƒο½ˆο½…ο½ƒο½‹ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ο½…ο½…γ€€ο½‰ο½†γ€€ο½…ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½ο½‹ο½ο½™γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½—ο½…β€™ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½ο½’ο½…ο½ο½ο½’ο½…ο½„γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½ο½ο½Œο½…ο½ο½…ο½Žο½”ο½ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½šο½šο½γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•ο½’γ€€ο½†ο½ο½–ο½ο½•ο½’ο½‰ο½”ο½…γ€€ο½”ο½™ο½ο½…γ€€οΌˆοΌΈοΌΈοΌ¬γ€€ο½ο½Œο½ŒοΌο½”ο½ο½ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ο½“γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½šο½šο½οΌο½”ο½ο½ο½ο½…ο½„γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½šο½šο½γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½šο½šο½οΌο½“ο½”ο½•ο½†ο½†ο½…ο½„γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½šο½šο½γ€€ο½ƒο½’ο½•ο½“ο½”οΌ‰οΌŽγ€€οΌ³ο½…ο½…γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½“ο½ο½ο½ŽοΌγ€€OpieOP OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Need a STEM mind for Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: Teenagers and man children according to who? You? What is your standard? I'm a fan of Rick and Morty, and I've been watching since episode one. Most of my friends who are scientists love the show, because it has a sense of humor and plot lines that you need a STEM mind simply to follow, let alone interpret and appreciate. Most of the people who diss the show are standard literature, philosophy, sociology a business majors who would rather watch shit like The Office or How I Met Your Mother and other shit-tier shows. Get off your high horse
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Think, Mark! Think! (Invincible show meme script)

WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?! YOU'RE FIGHTING SO YOU CAN SEE EVERYONE AROUND YOU DIE! THINK, MARK! YOULL OUTLAST EVERY FRAGILE INSIGNIFICANT BEING ON THIS PLANET! YOU'LL LIVE TO SEE THIS PLANET CRUMBLE TO DUST AND BLOW AWAY! EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WILL BE GONE. WHAT WILL YOU HAVE AFTER 500 YEARS?!
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing