[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
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More Copypastas

EU hearthstone expansion delayed

twitchquotes: LUL I am from EU LUL my breath smells like poo LUL Expansion delayed LUL And the server's down too LUL
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

EU vs NA

Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021

i didnt fuck my cat emojified

twitchquotes: iπŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈdidn’t 🚫 fuck πŸ†πŸ’¦my cat😾. i didnt 🚫cum πŸ†πŸ’¦on my cat😼 . i didnt❌ put πŸ‘‰ my Dick πŸ† anywhere 🌎near my catπŸ™€ . Ive never βŒπŸ™…β€β™€οΈdone anything weird ❓❓❓with my πŸ’β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜»cats. I promised🀝 myself 🀞i wasnt going to make πŸ’’πŸ’’apology 😿 videosπŸ“Ή after last yearsπŸ“… thing so im just trying to be as short and honest πŸ‘ with this πŸ‘…πŸ˜Όas possible. (1/?)
twitch chat
March 2019

Emoji Pasta

I've always been a DC fan

twitchquotes: (sponsored spam) I've always been a DC fan (I guess you could say Fanboy LOL) but after watching Kripparrian play Marvel Future Fight, I gotta say, I'm HOOKED! Featuring iconic characters like Black Panther and Thanos, I gotta say, I'm pretty damn interested in this game. Thank you Kripparrian!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Titsa me, Mario!

June 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing