[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Everything changed when the Hearthstone nation attacked

twitchquotes: Diablo. PoE. WoW. GW2. Long ago,the four games lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Hearthstone nation attacked. Only Kripp, master of no life gaming, could stop them, but when the world needed him the most, he played ResidentSleeper stone.
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Fluttershy

β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–€β–Œβ–’β–’ β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’ β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’ β–’β–β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–’ ▒▒▐▒▒░░░░▀▀▀▀░░░░▒▒▒▐▒▒▓ ▒▒▒▐▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▐▒▒▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▐▒▒░░░░░░░▐▄░▒▐▒▓▓▓▓ β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▓▓▒▒▒▐▒▒░▓▓▓▒▒▒▐▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
November 2014

I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
May 2016

Classic

Kapp

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November 2020

How come we can't ever invade a cool country (Generation Kill)

Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
March 2021
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