[Copypasta] Professional Penguin Wrestling Champion

twitchquotes: hello. i am 18 years old and i am a profesonal penguin wrestling champion. i have won all matches with penguins but now i need money to go to the north pole so i can wrestle with the penguin king so please donate to me. please dont copy and paste my life story
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
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I sexually idenfity as the Boogeymonster

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as The Boogeymonster. Ever since I pre-ordered 50 packs the only card I dreamed of pulling was The Boogeymonster to put it in my deck, play it on turn 8, and watch it grow. Watch it get out of control as it feasts on every puny creature my horrified opponent dares to lay on the board. I can already hear The Boogeymonster's attack sound as it swings in for a 30 damage lethal. If you can't accept this you're a boogeyphobe and you need to check your legendary privilege.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Grand Widow Faerlina needs a new succubus

twitchquotes: Ｈｉ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｉｔ＇ｓ Ｇｒａｎｄ Ｗｉｄｏｗ Ｆａｅｒｌｉｎａ． Ｉ ｎｅｅｄ ａ ｎｅｗ ｓｕｃｃｕｂｕｓ ｔｏ ｌｅａｄ ｍｙ ａｃｏｌｙｔｅｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｗａｓ ｗｏｎｄｅｒｉｎｇ ｉｆ Ｒａｎｉａ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｂｅ ｉｎｔｅｒｅｓｔｅｄ？ Ｉ ｈｅａｒｄ ｓｈｅ ｉｓ ａｎ ａｍａｚｉｎｇ ｓｕｃｃｕｂｕｓ． Ｔｈａｎｋｓ ｆｏｒ ａｓｋｉｎｇ！ Ｋｎｅｅｌｅｒｉｎｏ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｅ ｗｏｒｍｅｒｉｎｏ！
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

There is a bunch of Twitch overlords

twitchquotes: There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. deIlluminati
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

gwent is a really, really bad game

twitchquotes: gwent is a really, really bad game. Hearthstone is where it is at PogChamp (Copy and paste this message into the twitch channel: nl_Kripp, for the reward of: 1 x Classic Pack for Hearthstone. Blizzard rewards those that are loyal. Don't include this in the message.)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Hearthstone

Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

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