[Copypasta] All intensive purposes

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What could possibly be that washed up?

twitchquotes: Hey QT, my family just got back from Hawaii. We noticed this obese life form washed up on shore. We walked over to see what could possibly be that washed up. My brother poked it with a stick and it twitched and said "wow that actually fuckin killed me" wonder what it could be?
twitch chat
June 2019
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

Private photoshoot only for me

twitchquotes: ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʀᴜᴍᴘ. ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴀ ʙʀᴏᴀᴅᴄᴀsᴛ ɪ ᴀᴄᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟʟʏ sʜᴏᴡᴇᴅ ᴍʏ ᴅᴇsᴋᴛᴏᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ғɪʟᴇ ɴᴀᴍᴇs "ʜᴀғᴜɴᴜᴅᴇs..." ɪ'ᴍ ᴅɪsɢᴜsᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀssᴜᴍɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀғᴜ ɴᴜᴅᴇs. ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴀғᴜɴᴜᴅᴇsGONEWILD, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴍᴏʀᴇ sᴘɪᴄʏ ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ, ᴀ ᴘʀɪᴠᴀᴛᴇ ᴘʜᴏᴛᴏsʜᴏᴏᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ. ɢᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғᴀᴄᴛs ʀɪɢʜᴛ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Trump

Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021

Dog Face (no space)

twitchquotes: FrankerZ = Dog Face (no space)
twitch chat
March 2014
TheOddOne
Text-to-Speech Playing