[Copypasta] Have you heard about Twitch Prime?

twitchquotes: Hey guys, have you heard about Twitch Prime? Did you know you can link your Amazon Prime account to your Twitch account, and subscriber to your favorite streamer FOREVER... for 30 days.. FOR FREE!
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Mitch is the type of dude who...

Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal. Mitch the kinda guy to leave β€œsmile more” on the tip section of a receipt Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Papparian returns from a business trip

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I met a man named madlife

twitchquotes: Back when I was in korea, I met a man named madlife, and he came up to me and said "this is how you play thresh you young wippersnapper" and I stood up out of my chair and said "okay" and that, is how the american madlife, machinegunnerusmc was made.
twitch chat
November 2014
machinegunnerusmc

πŸ‘»BOO! Srry did I scare you?

twitchquotes: πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»BOO! Srry did I scare you???πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ it's October πŸŽƒπŸ‘»πŸ’€πŸ‘½πŸ˜ˆπŸŒ‘ you know what that means 😏😏 SLUT-O-WEEN πŸ‘― send this to 10 of your 10 sluttiest ghost bitches 😝😝 if you get 5 back you're a slutty witch but if you get 10 ur the spookiest bitch on the blockπŸŽƒπŸ‘―πŸ”₯πŸ’€πŸ‘»
twitch chat
September 2017

Emoji Pasta

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