[Copypasta] Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos create Biff Gatezos

Rub dicks together until cum, then swirl the cum into a frothy mix and inject frothy cum mixture into various surrogate mothers who are on fertility drugs, creating a high chance for twins, triplets, quintuplets, etc. Randomly transplant hearts and other organs between all babies to ensure no baby is 100% descendant of either Bill or Jeff. Let babies fight to the death until only one is left. He shall be named Biff Gatezos, overlord of Microzon. Using the combined financial prowess of his fathers, he shall be trained and upgraded to become superhuman in all aspects imaginable. There will never be another Biff Gatezos because Biff Gatezos is eternal. South-Korean baby foreskins will be used to ensure he never ages and therefore never dies. All the gods that have ever been will come down from their heavenly thrones to challenge Biff Gatezos but Biff Gatezos only need drop his trousers and reveal his mighty p***s to strike fear in the hearts of the gods and Satan himself. With a single swing of his mighty staff, Biff Gatezos will catapult the gods out of the universe and claim his rightful throne as Eternal God of Everything. Hope this clears things up.
May 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

The giant salt monster known as Kripp

twitchquotes: All this salt has formed into the giant salt monster known as Kripp. For all the salt of the ocean can not keep him at bay. Blame RNG and lose! Then go to cast another player cause you can't play. The salt is real, the salt is kripp, and thats why he losses.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Blessings to you, Oh Salty One

twitchquotes: Blessings to you, Oh Salty One. This is Pope Francis, leader of the Catholic Church. My son, why do you avoid choosing Priest for your arena runs? Are you so afraid of attaining Salvation? It worries me that you prefer playing the murderous rogue or the destructive mage to the humble priest. You have sinned much already through your veganism, but atonement can be reached through more Priest runs. Thank you and God Bless.
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Full Doge

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β– ░░░░░░░▐▄▀▒▒▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▐ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β– β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–Œ β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ β–Œβ–’β–€β–β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β– β–β–’β–’β–β–€β–β–€β–’β–‘β–„β–„β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ ▐▒▒▒▀▀▄▄▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▐ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–Œ ░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▄▒▒▐ β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€
November 2016

In a forest in Canada a young boy named Kripp was born

twitchquotes: (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) In a forest in Canada a young boy named Kripp was born. Every day he would dream of a better life, one with Spreadsheets and all the OJ he could drink. One day a magical Succubus came and whisked him away, she promised him glory, cats and best of all... Boobs. Now Kripp is dead. The End (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Big Chungus

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December 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing