I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity.
What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my รbernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra.
It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
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How do I get my husband to stop going โGoblin Modeโ during sex?
How do I get my husband to stop going โGoblin Modeโ during sex?
TLDR; My husband says โGoblin Mode activatedโ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says โGoblin Mode offโ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward.
I really love my husband and heโs always been great in bed. But recently heโs been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in โGoblin Modeโ. We didnโt really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. Heโs an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time Iโve ever seen him cry. I think since then, heโs been a little emotionally unwell. Iโve heard him muttering, โGoblinโ repeatedly when he didnโt notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said โGoblin Mode activatedโ, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex Iโve ever had, but Iโm worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice?
Edit: The problem isnโt the โGoblin Modeโ, itโs that he could be ill
Confessions
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Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE
twitchquotes:
Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE ๐๐ถ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ CONGA LINE ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ CONGA LINE ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ CONGA LINE ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ CONGA LINE ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ
twitch chat
Classic
Greggnog
First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.
I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.
Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up."
I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight.
He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
Classic
Hey subs, it's me walking with my $5, don't mind me
twitchquotes:
Hey subs! [ฬฒฬ
$ฬฒฬ
(ฬฒฬ
5)ฬฒฬ
$ฬฒฬ
]ใฝเผผเบูอเบเผฝเธ It's me walking with my $5, don't mind me.
twitch chat
Classic
plebs vs subs
I want to become a walrus
twitchquotes:
Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
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