[Copypasta] I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
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The Coldest Place in the Universe May Actually Be a Sussy Baka

The Boomerang Nebula, located roughly 5,000 light-years away from our solar system, has a temperature of 1 Kelvin (-272 Β°C or -460 Β°F) making it the coldest natural place in the universe humanity has discovered. First found in 1995 by astronomers in Chile, we have since learned quite a bit about it. The Boomerang Nebula is a young planetary nebula which has reached such cold temperatures due to its unusually rapid expansion. However, recently, modern online enthusiasts have raised one question science has yet been unable to answer: is it sus? The profound similarities between the Boomerang Nebula and the characters from the hit game Among Us have led many to believe that the Boomerang Nebula is, in fact, awfully sus, but science has yet to confirm, deny, or even respond to these questions. Follow for more updates on this developing story.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Start with something small like your intelligence

twitchquotes: I've heard shoving things up your ass is quite painful so you might want to start with something small like your intelligence and build up to bigger things like your ego
twitch chat
March 2020

Classic

Poop

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░▐▐░░░░░░░░░▄░▐░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░▐░▄▄▀░░░░ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–„TSM▄░░░▐▄▄▄▀░░░
June 2016
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

Just kidding, it's still Tanner

twitchquotes: H-hey Octavian, do you remember me from Biology? Freshman year? It's Laura. I just wanted to stop by since you missed the last reunion, I was looking for you. I always thought you were really smart and talented, but I could never work up the nerve to tell you. Anyway, I hope you're doing well...HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

Handsome Squidward

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β €β –β Šβ ‰β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ™β ²β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β Šβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’¦β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’’β €β €β €β €β €β’³β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ±β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β ˆβ €β‘€β €β €β €β ˆβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘°β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β‘†β‘œβ β €β €β €β €β’§β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⑂⠀⠇⠱⠀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β’‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’„β‘€β’ β£Ÿβ’­β£₯β£€β ½β‘†β €β‘Άβ£Šβ£‰β£²β£€β’€β‘žβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β£†β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β €β β ‚β ˜β „β£ˆβ£™β‘‘β‘΄β €β €β ™β£„β ™β£›β œβ ˜β£†β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’¦β‘€β €β €β €β’Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β „β Šβ €β €β €β €β‘Έβ ›β €β €β €β’Έβ †β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ “β ¦β’„β£˜β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘ β €β €β €β €β£‡β‘€β €β €β£ β Žβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ β ˆβ‘Ÿβ ’β ²β£„β €β €β‘°β ‡β –β’„β €β €β‘Ήβ‘‡β’€β Žβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘‡β €β €β‘‡β €β €β Ήβ €β‘žβ €β €β’€β €β£β ­β‘€β’±β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β£ β žβ €β €β’ β‘‡β €β €β €β €β β €β’΄β ₯β €β ¦β ¦β‘Όβ €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£€β£€β£΄β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ β €β ‹β €β €β €β’Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β£ β’€β β β €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ¬β ₯β£„β €β €β ˆβ ²β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ™β ¦β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’³β €β €β’€β£Ώβ‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ™β ’β ¦β €β’€β£„β£€β£ β €β’Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β € ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⑼⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣢⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣢⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing