I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity.
What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Γbernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra.
It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena
twitchquotes:
Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena and i'm 29 cards in. Should I pick backstab (like you got backstabbed by your fellow brothers), betrayal (like how they betrayed you) or shiv (like how you got shived multiple times).
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Classic
Hearthstone
Spooky skeleton
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Classic
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Classic
Kog'Maw's passive
twitchquotes:
Hi Imaqtpie. I noticed that in your games you utilize KogβMaws passive A LOT, but when I watch LCS players I see them go an ENTIRE teamfight without using their passive even ONCE. Are they playing the champion to its full potential or are you?
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imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
This is the world we have wrought
twitchquotes:
The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: βββ 10 ο½ο½ο½ο½ο½ο½
ο½ο½ο½ο½ ff β EKT βΎ β ΒΈ. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ΰΊΩΝΩΝΰΊΰΊΰΌ½ΰΌ½οΎοΎ HA Κα΄Κα΄ γ½ΰΌΌΰ²’_ β βΰΈ±β)β TUCK F (β‘βΏβ‘βΏ)". This is the world we have wrought.
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