I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity.
What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Γbernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra.
It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
ASCENDED invisible spam
twitchquotes:
ASCENDED invisible spam ββ ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β 
twitch chat
Classic
Response to "go fuck yourself"
What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
Classic
Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.
Classic
SLEEP TEST
twitchquotes:
SLEEP TEST π IF YOU TOUCH THE BED , GO TO SLEEP β 
twitch chat
Classic
Chat Test
YUGIOH KEEPS INTERRUPTING MY AD MARATHON
twitchquotes:
π π 
HELLO TWITCH? π THIS YUGIOH THINGY π KEEPS INTERRUPTING π MY AD MARATHON π
HELLO TWITCH? π THIS YUGIOH THINGY π KEEPS INTERRUPTING π MY AD MARATHON π
twitch chat
TwitchPresents