[Copypasta] How to have sex and still be a virgin

You see if you have sex with another virgin you're therefore taking their virginity and they are taking your virginity so it's a win-win and you can still use Reddit
March 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS

twitchquotes: Greetings Kripp, it is I, John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS. It has come to my attention that children are using my invention for malicious reasons. Please send me your address, phone number, credit card and social security numbers so I can help you fix this problem.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant

twitchquotes: PogChamp only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant RNCelephant
twitch chat
August 2016
Reynad

Stonks only go up. But you don't.

You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you. She turns. β€œWhat do you want for Christmas?” You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. β€œNothing, really.” β€œNothing?” She crawls into bed and touches your leg. β€œAre you sure?” Again, you wonder why this person chose you. As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, β€œWhat’s wrong?” Stonks only go up. But you don’t.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Toucan

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€
November 2014

QTPie's journal

twitchquotes: QTPies Journal; These streamers are afraid of me. I've seen their true face. Diamond 2 is an extended gutter and the gutter is full of trash. And when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin, like Dom and Jared will drown. The accumulated filth of all their missed flashes and low mechanic champions will foam up around their waists and all the annie mains and boosted monkeys will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "No."
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing