[Copypasta] How to have sex and still be a virgin

You see if you have sex with another virgin you're therefore taking their virginity and they are taking your virginity so it's a win-win and you can still use Reddit
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Copy tagliatelli vs Copy pasta

twitchquotes: This is a campaign from Tagliatelli. We have been noticing sales drops as a result of people's choice of regular pasta rather than the much more tasty tagliatelli. Would you all please stop spreading copy pasta and start copy tagliatelli?
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

LeBlanc

⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠒⠲⠿⣿⣯⣭⣍⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⢲⣦⢮⡐⠊⠉⢱⣮⠀⠈⠃⢔⣢⣼⣿⣷⡦⠾⠦⠲⣶⣶⣉⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣤⣤⣍⣙⠻⢿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠘⣿⡻⣿⣿⡟⠛⠙⠀⢀⣴⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠨⡙⠿⣿⣶⣄⣿⣷⣿⠀⣮⠀⡀⢰⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⢀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⣬⡻⢿⣿⣿⠃⣀⡼⠷⡽⣿⡟⠀⢀⡀⠀⢠⣥⣴⣶⣶⣦⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⣰⡟⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢷⣽⣿⣜⢿⡇⠀⢰⡟⢀⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣰⡿⢡⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⢻⣷⣕⢠⡿⠑⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢹⣿⢱⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡌⡠⠁⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⠻⣿⢃⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠈⠙⠿⣗⡀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⡧⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢰⠃⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⢄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡑⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠄⠀⡀⠀⠉ ⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠓⠐⠒⣸⣄⣠⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⡇⠑⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠄⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠦⣤⣑⠄⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠑⠂ ⡡⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠉⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠈⠙⠲⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠀⠀⢤⣬⣤⠀⠀⣈⠍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠑⠲⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠈⠉⠈⠀⠐⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢹⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣶ ⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⢆⣠⣴⣾⠿⠟⠛⢛⣿⣿ ⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣶⡿⣫⠾⠛⠉⢁⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⠿
September 2021

League of Legends

SYMMETRA ACTIVATED

twitchquotes: Jebaited BASTION OVERRATED Jebaited TORB OUTDATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited SYMMETRA ACTIVATED Jebaited
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing