Kermit the frog caused 9/11. In the 2002 TV film "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie", there's a part where an angel shows Kermit an alternate reality where he was never born. For whatever reason, the editors didn't really think about it, and continued to use footage with the twin towers still standing for this scene, however they aren't there in his original universe. Therefore, something that Kermit did in his life, did in fact cause 9/11 in Muppet lore.
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If the human body is 75% water...
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If the human body is 75% water, how can you be 100% salt? 
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C9 THIS C9 THAT
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C9 THIS C9 THAT YOU GUESSED IT IM PLAT
C9 THIS C9 THAT YOU GUESSED IT IM PLAT
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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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F to pay McRespects
Ma'am, you may want to McSit⢠down for this. We are deeply McSorry⢠to inform you your husband has McPerished⢠in the McLine⢠of duty. He bravely led a McCharge⢠against the Burger Emperor's Armyâ˘, and through his McBravery⢠we were able to hold the McLine⢠long enough for McReinforcements⢠to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor⢠for his McServiceâ˘, and for his McBravery⢠we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal⢠as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine⢠Corps will never be forgotten.
I sexually identify as a Minecraft creeper
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I sexually identify as a Minecraft creeper. Ever since I was a child I dreamed of stalking people in the dead of the night, making an erotic hissing noise, and then spewing my particles all over them. People say to me that a person being a monster in a dying Swedish pixel game is impossible and Iâm more autistic than a Fortnite default, but I donât care, Iâm beautiful. Iâm having a doctor fill me with gunpowder and implementing green and black pigments into my skin. From now on I want you guys to call me "Creepus Explodusâ and respect my right to appear on retarded children's backpacks and sweaters. If you canât accept me youâre a mob-phobe and need to check your entity privilege. Thank you all for being so understanding.
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