[Copypasta] Kermit the frog caused 9/11

Kermit the frog caused 9/11. In the 2002 TV film "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie", there's a part where an angel shows Kermit an alternate reality where he was never born. For whatever reason, the editors didn't really think about it, and continued to use footage with the twin towers still standing for this scene, however they aren't there in his original universe. Therefore, something that Kermit did in his life, did in fact cause 9/11 in Muppet lore.
February 2021
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More Copypastas

Qtpie wears a blue shirt

twitchquotes: QT, after a long time of watching your mediocre gameplay, and biting cats tails. We have always seen you in your white shirt, the only other time being black tshirt to your wedding. Why is your shirt blue? Are you trying to tell us something? Do you need help? Is this a cry of attention? We need to know QT ... Sincerely, a concerned chatter.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

I wore a mask at Target today

I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their masks and threw them on the ground, chanting "down with communism!" God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped.
June 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

I am a silent guardian, I am the Dark Knight

twitchquotes: ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴋɪᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ, ᴡʜᴏ ʜᴏᴘᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴɢ's ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ. ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʜɪᴍ "ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ, ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏs". ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴡɪᴇʟᴅᴇᴅ ʜɪs sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏs ᴄʜᴇsᴛs. <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ "ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ sɪʟᴇɴᴛ ɢᴜᴀʀᴅɪᴀɴ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ".
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Thanks for backseating

On behalf of the Streamer and whole chat I would like to extend our greatest gratitude for your invaluable care about this hardstuck challenger players mental state, since after 10 years of streaming he is not able to control his anger and tilt. Your contribution to helping him get over his weak mentality and becoming an untiltable champion of the top lane will never be forgotten!
July 2022

League of Legends

Anime girl wink

⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⣴⣿⡿⠿⠧⠹⠿⠘⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢹⡇⣿⣿⣿⠄⣞⣯⣷⣾⣿⣿⣧⡹⡆⡀⠉⢹⡌⠐⢿⣿⣿⣿⡞⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⡇⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢻⣦⡀⠁⢸⡌⠻⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⠹⣿⡇⡟⠛⣉⠁⠉⠉⠻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡉⠂⠈⠙⢿⣿⣝⣿ ⠤⢿⡄⠹⣧⣷⣸⡇⠄⠄⠲⢰⣌⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⡀⠄⠈⠻⢮ ⠄⢸⣧⠄⢘⢻⣿⡇⢀⣀⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⢀ ⠄⠈⣿⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣬⣭⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠝⠛⠛⠙⢿⡿⠃⠄⢸ ⠄⠄⢿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⠁⢠⡇⢀ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣫⣻⡟⢀⠄⣿⣷⣾ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠊⢀⡇⣿⣿ ⠒⠤⠄⣿⡇⢀⡲⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠁⣰⠇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⢬⡻⡇⡄⠄⠄⠄⡰⢖⠔⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠏⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠙⢌⢷⣆⡀⡾⡣⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿
March 2019

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing