twitchquotes:
πͺ π roses are red πͺ π violets are blue πͺ π i'm flexing today πͺ π why aren't you?? πͺ π
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I used to be a real ad
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How I got into Harvard
Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview.
As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. 
Rick and Morty
The pasta will be that pasta that youβve spammed
twitchquotes:
I looked at this pasta originally, and I thought, you know, itβs a pasta, and you spam this pasta. The pasta will be that pasta that youβve spammed, so youβre spamming a pasta. So it is one thing to spam a pasta if your chat doesnβt really have any pasta. The pasta will screw up the pasta pretty hard, and that means itβs a pretty good pasta.
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Kripp
Canadaland
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Kripp
The Moon isn't so great?
twitchquotes:
The Moon isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw an astronomical object with such an ability and movement within the celestial plane? The Moon puts the eclipse game to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a planet with its skill and passion for moving in front of things again. The Sun breaks records. Earth breaks records. The Moon breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
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Only the chosen one can fist both asses
twitchquotes:
(βΏΛ βΏ) _(βΏΛ βΏ) only the chosen one can fist both asses. β 
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