[Copypasta] Roses are red, I'm flexing today

twitchquotes: 💪 😂 roses are red 💪 😂 violets are blue 💪 😂 i'm flexing today 💪 😂 why aren't you?? 💪 😂
twitch chat
September 2017
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January 2021

Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019

Subs vs non-subs

twitchquotes: The best part about being a non-sub is that the chat spam seems real. If a sub is spamming it’s obvious they are just spamming for fun or to troll, because who would give money to a streamer they don’t like? By being a non-sub the possible genuine confusion and disinterest is actually there. And that’s something subs can’t get.
twitch chat
July 2020

A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015

hafu you keep calling your boyfriend dog

twitchquotes: hey hafu i saw that u keep calling your boyfriend "dog". as a new viewer this is kinda off putting and gives the vibe that u hate men. is it possible to call him david instead
twitch chat
June 2019
Hafu
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