Ok, so today I was talking to my friend over text. I asked him what's his favorite anime but then he told me that he doesn't watch it and thinks it's boring. I was confused as to why he didn't watch anime. I told him about how much I like to watch anime "for the plot" but he didn't really show much interest. I then asked him if we could play Among Us later but then he said he has to go to church this afternoon. I never knew he was a Christian. I was asking him why he believed in God and he didn't reply so I told him he's intellectually inferior to me and that his parents indoctrinated him into believing in God. I was sending him scientific studies that show proof that atheists are more intellectually superior to people who believe in religion. I later found out that he was attending a funeral at the church.
What happened to this ad? :(
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I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and Iβm fucking retarded but I donβt care, Iβm beautiful. Iβm having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me βWindows Update 10.0.10586β and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you canβt accept me youβre a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West
I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
Kanye West
krippO
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Kripp
Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth
According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
POV: you get approached by the weaboo kid
πΆββοΈare you theπππnew girlπhehβΊοΈ i thought soπiβve never seenπ you beforeπ€ cone e chee wah βπ» iβm david-kunπitβs so niceπto finally meet youπ€ͺyou look just likeπ³my waifuπ₯΅HEHπΉHEHπΉHEHπΉHEHπΉHEHπΉHEHπΉanywaysπiβm so sorryπabout the jerksπ‘in classπ€theyre allππ»BAKAππ»they only wantπone thingπ«not meπ₯΄i just likeπ€to watchπΊmy favourite animeπjiu jitsu kaisenπand read mangaπmmmalsoππ»ππ»ithinkyourereallycoolπ
kawaee desu neighπ³π΄HEHπΉHEHπΉHEHπΉHEHπΉHEHπΉHEHπΉnghuuhπ£iβm sorryπ€iβm just nervousπokayπ‘itβs justπwellπitβs justπ₯΅mm I JUST WANT TO KNOWπ€IF I CAN SUCKπ
ON YOUR NIPPLETSπ€OKAYβwellπ°what do you ππ»ππ»NNGGGHπ΅