[Copypasta] Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you

twitchquotes: Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you. Every morning I wake up and wash my adderall down with GFUEL™️, I have a python script that uploads my gameplay directly to reddit and I have amassed over 3 million karma. I only have TTV in my name ironically but also I have a stream PogChamp. If my ping were lower I would literally never lose, my 80% headshot percentage (op included) always carries my team. Let's be honest LUL you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
twitch chat
August 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Magnus Carlsen has the most braindead viewership

twitchquotes: It’s funny how arguably the smartest person on this platform also has the most braindead viewership. What the hell even is a copypasta? Grow up.
twitch chat
April 2021
maskenissen

Fortnite default dance 6

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣶⣀⠿⠶⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⣿⠿⠿⠿
ascii art
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Putin had a private screening of Morbius

Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
June 2022

Morbius

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Kripp and the Hardcore Police

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ Kripp, this is the hardcore police, it has come to our attention that you RIP in peace above the allowed average hardcore limit. We are here to inform you that your channel prefix must be changed into cl (casual-life) as a repercussion to better represent your current lifestyle. This will be the last warning. ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ ᴊ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
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