[Copypasta] Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you

twitchquotes: Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you. Every morning I wake up and wash my adderall down with GFUEL™️, I have a python script that uploads my gameplay directly to reddit and I have amassed over 3 million karma. I only have TTV in my name ironically but also I have a stream PogChamp. If my ping were lower I would literally never lose, my 80% headshot percentage (op included) always carries my team. Let's be honest LUL you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
twitch chat
August 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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xqcY

⠀⢀⣤⢚⣉⣉⣹⡿⠿⠛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠳⠶⠶⠬⡙⠿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣰⠟⣡⠞⢛⣩⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣐⠳⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⠞⣰⣾⣿⣿⠟⢛⣩⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣭⣭⣭⣭⣝⣛⡻⠿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀ ⡏⣸⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠉⠻⣿⣦ ⠁⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠤⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢀⡤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣌⢿ ⡆⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡤⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⢰⡞⠀⠀⢠⠈⠛⣿⢸ ⡇⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣾⠀⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣷⣤⣤⣶⣶⡿⠃⣸ ⠃⣼⣿⡆⠀⠈⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⠀⠀⣘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣿ ⡇⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠙⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢰⣿ ⠛⡌⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⢏⣾⡟ ⡀⢳⡘⣿⣿⣆⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣡⣾⡿⠁ ⣧⠘⢷⡘⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⣠⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀ ⠋⣷⣾⣷⡌⢿⣿⣷⡀⠉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⠟⣡⣾⡄⠀ ⣿⣮⡙⢿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠿⢛⣡⣴⣾⡿⠟⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀
December 2020
xQcOW

DrDisRespect

⠄⠄⠈⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣀⣀⡀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⡄⢴⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢀⡈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠁⠄ ⢠⣿⡸⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠴⠶⠯⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⠄⣿⣷⣽⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠿⠿⠟⠉⠄⠄⢀⠎ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⣶⡄⠄⢊⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀ ⡆⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⠟⠛⠛⠃⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⡮⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⣾ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡟⢁⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠠⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠲⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢷⣶⣶⣷⣦⣼⣻⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣒⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⡯⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018
DrDisRespectLIVE

Trump nuclear ramble

Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart —you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you’re a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.
September 2021

Donald Trump

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Santana Banana Macaroni

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ Mʀ. Pɪᴇ I ᴀᴍ Mᴀʀɪᴏ Rɪɢᴀᴛᴏɴᴇ ғʀᴏᴍ Pᴀsᴛᴀʀᴏɴɪ ɪɴᴅᴜsᴛʀɪᴇs I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɴᴇᴡ ᴘᴀsᴛᴀ ɪɴsᴘɪʀᴇ ʙʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀᴅᴄ ᴘʟᴀʏ I ᴄᴀʟʟ ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀɴᴛᴀɴᴀ ʙᴀɴᴀɴᴀ ᴍᴀᴄᴀʀᴏɴɪ. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ Rᴀᴠɪᴏʟɪ ʟɪɴɢᴜɪɴɪ ᴘᴀsᴛᴀʀɪɴᴏ
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April 2014
imaqtpie
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