[Copypasta] Coke Gaming ad script

twitchquotes: Oh my god, what the hell? what's going on? What, oh my god. Coke, are you serious right now? COKE GAMING WHAT! You are invited to the Twitch Partner Program! HI, I Just got partnered. We got partnered boys. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What! Coke Gaming, what Is this? 10,000 bits? Coke Gaming, thank you so much for the 10,000 bits! Thanks. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you Coke.
twitch chat
December 2019
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

zachary is no more. there is only cock

twitchquotes: sneaky's eyelids flutter open. on one side of his bed, his beloved, lynn. on the other side, his lover, meteos. he slowly awakens to his surroundings. "...cocks," he mutters as he walks to the bathroom. "cocks," he slurs as he brushes his teeth. "cocks," he says while in the shower, hands washing all over his body. "cocks," he says as he burns his food and decides to order postmates. sneaky's life is consumed by cocks. zachary is no more. there is only cock.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Among Us teaches us to punish minorities

Among Us (coloquially termed "amogus") teaches us to punish the minority and hate those who are different and unique as "impostors." Instead, I like the breath of fresh air this problem provides as a new perspective on deduction that is not "red is sus, red vented, etc." that has been dominating the jokes of my peers and the view of my feed. Yet, by trying to force this problem to conform to "amogus," you yourself are trying to crush originality and uniqueness. Among Us is a game ultimately convincing us to conform to menial labor as "tasks" and accept the deal of being just like the rest of the crewmates.
October 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Kripp please lick knee twice

twitchquotes: สœแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜แด€ส€ส€ษชษดแด แดส สŸแดแด แด‡, แด›สœษชs ษชs Rแด€ษดษชแด€. Mส แด›แดษดษขแดœแด‡ แด€สŸสŸ แด›ษชส€แด‡แด… แดแดœแด› า“ส€แดแด สŸษชแด„แด‹ษชษดษข สแดแดœส€ sแดกแด‡แด‡แด› แด‹ษดแด‡แด‡ แดŠแดœษชแด„แด‡ แด€สŸสŸ ษดษชษขสœแด›. แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ สŸษชแด„แด‹ สแดแดœส€ แด‹ษดแด‡แด‡ แด›แดกษชแด„แด‡ แด€ษดแด… ษชษด ส€แด‡แดกแด€ส€แด… ษช ส€แด€ษชsแด‡ แดœส€ แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€. แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ ษดแด แด€สŸ แด˜แด€แด„ษชษดแด.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

3-eyed face

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€(โ—)โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“(โ—)โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“(โ—)โ–ˆโ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing