[Copypasta] Coke Gaming ad script

twitchquotes: Oh my god, what the hell? what's going on? What, oh my god. Coke, are you serious right now? COKE GAMING WHAT! You are invited to the Twitch Partner Program! HI, I Just got partnered. We got partnered boys. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What! Coke Gaming, what Is this? 10,000 bits? Coke Gaming, thank you so much for the 10,000 bits! Thanks. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you Coke.
twitch chat
December 2019
Script of super annoying Coke Gaming ad that was constantly played on Twitch
What happened to this ad? :(
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The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
March 2021

Therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty

twitchquotes: ༼▀̿ Ĺ̯▀̿༽ This is Blizzard, Forsen. We've detected reduced gaming time of our game, Hearth of Stone from you and therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty. ༼▀̿ Ĺ̯▀̿༽
twitch chat
May 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

Switch Hanzo's stormbow to scatter

twitchquotes: I'm new to Overwatch so sorry if I sound like a noob but... does anyone know how to switch Hanzo's stormbow to scatter? I want to use what the pros use. Thanks!
twitch chat
May 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Ban one 12 year old, get the whole 9gag

twitchquotes: :tf: BAN :tf: ONE :tf: 12 :tf: YEAR :tf: OLD :tf: AND :tf: YOU :tf: GET :tf: THE :tf: WHOLE :tf: 9GAG :tf:
twitch chat
February 2017

MODS

Classic

Ban X Get The Whole Y

Sneaky goes to town

twitchquotes: It was a hot and sultry night at the c9 gaming house. everyone was in bed except for meteos and sneaky. "we can't keep doing this, baby" says sneaky. "put that mouth to use, you dirty tramp" replies meteos. "LCS starts tmrw, and if you expect me to carry you again, i need to you to suck me to completion." sneaky grins sl*ttily, and goes to town
twitch chat
January 2015
Sneaky

League of Legends

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