[Copypasta] Twitch staff Golden Kappa

twitchquotes: ItsBoshyTime Twitch Staff here, one person in this channel will be randomly given golden Kappa in the next few minutes minutes but only if you type Kappa, good luck! ItsBoshyTime
twitch chat
August 2016
What happened to this ad? :(
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RNGesus pounds Reynad's sweet, supple orifice relentlessly

twitchquotes: Hello fair maiden Reynad, this is the valiant knight Sir Coppus Pastaronus. I have come to rescue you from the mystical Tower of Salt, where the cruel innkeeper RNGesus has pounded your sweet, supple orifice relentlessly to the beat of Lord Kappa Please no paste.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Bikini Shrek

ascii art
May 2020

Classic

Shrek

NSFW

You better wear the TSM T-Shirt

twitchquotes: Hello TSM_Kripp, TSM manager here. We can see that you aren't wearing our TSM T-shirt. Remember that it is a vital part of our contract. If you want the fuckmaster-vol7ron you better wear the damn shirt.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

FeelsStrongMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠁⠈⠉⠙⠻⢿⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠠⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠪⡖⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠶⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢔⡢⠍⠉⠉⠩⠭⢑⣤⣔⠲⠤⠭⠭⠤⠴⢊⡻⣿ ⡿⠁⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⣤⠭⠓⠊⣁⣤⠂⠠⢀⡈⠱⣶⣆⣠⣴⡖⠁⠂⣀⠈⢷⣮⣹ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⢳⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣿⡿⢿⣿⣇⣀⣥⣤⠤⢼⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠑⠚⢹⡟⠉⣑⠒⢺⡇⡀⠀⡹⠀⠀⣀⣴⣽⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠒⠉⠀⠀⢠⠃⠈⠙⠻⣍⠙⢻⡻⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣘⡄⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⢱⢸⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠾⣟⣻⣛⠷⣶⣼⣥⣀⣀⣀⠀⢧⠀⠀⠀⠠⣧⣀⣼⣴⢽⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠹⡙⠛⠷⣿⣭⣯⣭⣟⣛⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣿⣭⣭⣾⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠉⠉⠉⡏⠉⠙⠛⠛⡿⣻⣯⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡸⠁⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣷⣤⣄⣈⣆⣤⣤⣧⣶⣷⣿⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

Pepe

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen. When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place. There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise. And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work. Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable. And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts. And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
September 2021
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