[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

Kappa

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ascii art

November 2014

Classic

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.

March 2021

Fortnite

Who is Octavian Morosan

twitch chat

December 2014

Kripp

Drama Popcorn

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠟⠛⠛⠻⣦⣠⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠋⠁⠀⠙⣿⠶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡾⠿⠀⢠⣶⠟⠻⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠁⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣟⠀⠀⢀⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢿⠟⠛⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠛⠋⠀⢰⡟⠉⢻⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠟⠛⢷⡄⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⣧⣄⡀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⢿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠟⠀⣀⣾⠇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡻⢿⣷⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣿⠿⣿⡷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣇⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢰⣿⠇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠙⠻⢿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡇⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⡏⠀⢠⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣤⣀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢰⣿⣿⡇⠀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⠈⣻⡿⠿⢷⣦⡀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⢀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⡿⠄⠀⠀⢰⡟⠁⠀⠀⢹⣷⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡏⢀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⡇⠀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⣷⣄⣀⣠⣴⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣷⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠁⠻⠷⠶⢿⣦⣤⣴⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

ascii art

April 2022

Mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games

twitchquotes: Using footage of Octavian "Kripp" Morosan's mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games, a landmark sleep study at Cologne University has successfully replicated the brain patterns produced in a comatose state. Lead researcher Don Pepporoni had hopes that this research will be able to cure the thousands of mentally invalid children who have, of late, been reduced to perpetual shitposting on video game streams.

twitch chat

January 2015

Kripp

[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

Kappa

Classic

The Tomato Town Incident

Fortnite

Who is Octavian Morosan

Drama Popcorn

Mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games

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