[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

regarding your status as a zoomer

twitchquotes: Hey dear Michael Santana, we’re reaching to you regarding your status as a zoomer. We might feel threatened by your recent choice of facial hair style, remember to stay within a zoomer’s spectrum.

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August 2019

imaqtpie

We recommend that you use the "suggested card" feature

twitchquotes: Greetings, Kripparrian. This is an automated message from Blizzard™ Entertianment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstone AI has flagged your account due to an unusal number of arena losses. We recommend that you use the "suggested card" feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzard™ Team.

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October 2014

Kripp

Summon GiG

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May 2014

GoodIdeaGaming

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.

July 2022

Confessions

Jacking Off Emoji

November 2021

NSFW

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[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

regarding your status as a zoomer

We recommend that you use the "suggested card" feature

Summon GiG

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

Confessions

Jacking Off Emoji

NSFW

Emoji Pasta

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