[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
twitch chat
November 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

xQc is bad at RP

twitchquotes: i've been watching xQc since pog champs 3 but after watching this disgusting attempt at "RP" i cannot support this streamer anymore, i am unfollowing and sending clips to NoPixel Staff Immediately
twitch chat
February 2021
xQcOW

Imaqtpie is becoming... mainstream & idk how to feel

twitchquotes: Imaqtpie is becoming... mainstream & idk how to feel. remember when people asked who your favorite streamer was and u had to say "imaqtpie idk if you know who that is though"
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

Lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army. It has come to our attention that you've been 'BroFisting' many of our citizens against their will. If you continue this, I have full authority to launch a nuclear attack against you and your evil 5 dollar club. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.ᕙ໒(˵ ̄ᴥ ̄˵)७ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing