[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
twitch chat
November 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. 100 years from now when I'm dying on a hospital bed and I'm asked what my biggest regret was it will be that I turned on my internet and scrolled through the internet on that fateful day... I will never be able to recover from this. No amount of therapy will save me. No amount of prescription pills will let me recover. I am a shell. This memory is so bad my brain is physically rejecting it and now I have a headache every time I think about it. Why did you post this, thinking it was a good idea? You've permanently ruined my life because of this, I hope you're happy. I hope that one day this gets branded as a war crime and you get hauled off to prison, never to see the light of day again. The fact that you're already not in a psych ward for insanity is so baffling I have lost all faith in every kind of justice system. If you subscribe to any religion, you'd best spend the rest of your time atoning for this ultimate sin. Have a terrible day, I hope this creation of yours haunts you in your dreams.
January 2021

Classic

Everyone please STOP SPAMMING

twitchquotes: Everyone, please STOP SPAMMING, it is very INCONSIDERATE of the folks who are trying to have REAL CONVERSATIONS. Plz no copy pastarino Frappaccino-mochaccino-capuccino, macarino Eddie Pasterino pepperoncino kakaino poopieino peepeeino dickarino assarino skillswiperino salterino bad-luckerino Al Pacino with his dongerino in San Bernardino.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021

I have given in to the copy pasterino

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I have given in to the copy pasterino. From now on I will devote myself to replicating every text, every word so that it may live on forever and fill the hearts and souls of our fellow copy pasterino's! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing