[Copypasta] Bad at video games. Get good.

twitchquotes: Hello Streamer. I would like to tell you a story. I am a 44 year old women from Colombia. My babby is 14 yaer old and has ligma so he cannot play vidya games. Everi day he must roll his wheelchair to school where he is bullied because of his condition. When he comes home he has no friends to play with, so the only thing he can do is to watch your stream. Because at least then he will feel good about his life since you are so fucking bad at video games. Fucking loser. Get good.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019

Grim Reaper

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡾⠿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣦⣴⣿⡋⠀⠀⠈⢳⡄⠀⢠⣾⣿⠁⠈⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠹⡄⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣏⢻⣿⣿⡆⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣷⠀⢘⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⠋⠉⠛⠂⠹⠿⣲⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡇⢀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀ ⠰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣷⡈⠿⢿⣿⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠁⢙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⡿⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣶⣤⣉⣛⠻⠇⢠⣿⣾⣿⡄⢻⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀🈵⠀YOUR TIME HAS COME 🈵⠀
June 2021

Anime girl 8

⣿⠟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⠟⠋⡜⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⣬⢁⠠⠁⣤⠄⢰⠄⠇⢻⢸ ⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⣟⢁⡴⡀⡜⣠⣶⢸⣿⣿⢃⡇⠂⢁⣶⣦⣅⠈⠇⠄⢸⢸ ⣹⣿⣿⣿⡗⣾⡟⡜⣵⠃⣴⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢸⠘⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢱⠄⠨⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⢁⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⡎⠐⠒⠚⠛⠛⠿⢧⠄⠄⢠⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠿⢸⡿⠭⠭⢽⣿⣿⣿⢂⣿⠃⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡾ ⣼⠏⣿⡏⠄⠄⢠⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣟⣾⣾⣼⣿⠒⠄⠄⠄⡠⣴⡄⢠⣿⣵ ⣳⠄⣿⠄⠄⢣⠸⣹⣿⡟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡻⡖⠦⢤⣔⣯⡅⣼⡿⣹ ⡿⣼⢸⠄⠄⣷⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣕⡜⡌⡝⡸⠙⣼⠟⢱⠏ ⡇⣿⣧⡰⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣋⣪⣥⢠⠏⠄ ⣧⢻⣿⣷⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⣀⣀⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠄⠄ ⢹⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⣿⣿⣇⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⠄⠄⠄ ⣼⡟⡟⣿⢸⣿⣿⣝⢿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⢟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⡀⡀ ⣿⢰⣿⢹⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⣸⢰⡇ ⣿⣾⣹⣏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣍⡻⣛⣛⣛⡉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢇⡏⠄
May 2019

Weebs

Blockchain NFT Gaming

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Auto-Pay feature

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing