[Copypasta] Bad at video games. Get good.

twitchquotes: Hello Streamer. I would like to tell you a story. I am a 44 year old women from Colombia. My babby is 14 yaer old and has ligma so he cannot play vidya games. Everi day he must roll his wheelchair to school where he is bullied because of his condition. When he comes home he has no friends to play with, so the only thing he can do is to watch your stream. Because at least then he will feel good about his life since you are so fucking bad at video games. Fucking loser. Get good.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

MOM I NEED V-BUCKS

twitchquotes: ❗️✋ OK MOM ✋❗️WE NEED TO TALK 😡😤 I NEED V-BUCKS 😜💵 I'VE MADE STRAIGHT A'S 😎🤨 I'VE CLEANED MY ROOM 😫🤬 I'VE TAKEN OUT THE TRASH 🗑️🔫 I CUT THE CATS ASSHOLE HAIR 😏👏 NOW I NEED YOU 🧐👉 TO BUY ME V-BUCKS 😎🔥 I'VE GOTTA SHOW 🤯🤬 MY CLOUT ON FORTNITE 🔥😎💯 NOW I'LL BE IN BED 😴💤 BY NINE BECAUSE IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT 😔📚🚸
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

This reddit sub is not funny

I have been in this shitty sub for almost a year and the humour here almost didn’t change at all. All of you here are so fucking unfunny it hurts to even open Reddit and see your “jokes” on my home page. The word 69 is not funny at ALL. 420 is also not funny. I know they are the sex and weed number but how is that funny at all? Do you just say “oh I’m almost about to get 69 karma haha funny”????? You’re not. Saying “penis” or when asked to say a joke “my life” isn’t fucking funny in any way. How is a whole group of teenagers SO UNFUNNY???? I used to have this type of “humour” for a bit (not that long so thank god) and after I realized how much it was being repeated I realized that you guys are embarrassing. No one out of Reddit likes or respects ANY of you. TIK TOK is funnier then here AND ALWAYS WILL BE. “So leave the sub” that won’t fix the sub though, will it? It hurts to see your “jokes”. Develop a sense of humor or just get out😐
May 2021

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 2)

When I went into the office the next day everybody ignored me. So I walked up to a coworker and said "Hey, why are you ignoring me, you're a bit sussy!" He reached for the red phone and I was reminded it looked like the Among us character. So I said "When the phone is sus hahahahhah" and I did the Linus tech tips disappointed face. "Get it? Do you use reddit?" He was talking to management when I cut the phone cord and threw it across the office. I said "Red was the imposter! hahahah!" And I did the among us drip song. "Ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding!" He wasn't smiling and he punched me but I said "You're sus! You're the imposter I saw you vent!" He was angry and he tried to punch me again but I grabbed his fist and said "Omae wa mo shinderu." He tried to punch me again he is a loser! He didn't even get my anime reference. So I took off my pants and shoved them on my his head. "You just got pantsed! HAhahahah" and I did the pepe smile and ran out of the office. Who wants to talk to an IMPOSTER? Stupid bitch
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Flex Tape

twitchquotes: To show you the power of Flex Tape, I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF and repaired it with only Flex Tape. Not only does Flex Tape's powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong, water-tight seal so the inside is completely dry. YEE DOGGIE! Just cut, peel, stick, and seal. Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
twitch chat
August 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing