[Copypasta] Bad at video games. Get good.

twitchquotes: Hello Streamer. I would like to tell you a story. I am a 44 year old women from Colombia. My babby is 14 yaer old and has ligma so he cannot play vidya games. Everi day he must roll his wheelchair to school where he is bullied because of his condition. When he comes home he has no friends to play with, so the only thing he can do is to watch your stream. Because at least then he will feel good about his life since you are so fucking bad at video games. Fucking loser. Get good.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Minecraft creeper head

β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
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TSM will come back, kill SHRC and wonnered worlds

twitchquotes: Hi, im form future, and i can tell ou that TSM will come back, kill SHRC and wonnered wolrds Kappa
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games

League of Legends

AMOGUS (youtube video) v3

β €β €β €β €- β£ β €β –β šβ ›β ‰β ›β ’β ’β ¦β’€ β €β €β €β €β£ β žβ β €β €β  β ’β ‚β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β ³β‘„ β €β €β €β’Έβ ‡β €β €β €β’€β‘„β €β’€β£€β£€β‘€β’€β£€β£€β£€β£Ήβ‘„ β €β €β €β ˜β’§β €β €β €β €β£™β£’β šβ ›β ‹β β‘ˆβ “β ΄β’Ώβ‘Ώβ  ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠒⠀⒀⠛⠻⠿⠿⣖⣒⣁⠀⠒⠋ β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β Όβ €β ˆβ£»β ‹β ‰β  β €β €β €β‘΄β šβ ‰β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ €β β’¦ ⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⑴⠋⠉⠀⒄⣀⠀⒴⠄⠀⑇ ⠀⒀⑏⠀⠀⠹⠢⒀⑔⠉⠀⠀⣼⠀⠀⑇ β €β£Όβ β €β ™β ¦β£„β‘€β£€β‘€β Άβ£‰β£β£€β ˜ β’€β‘Ÿβ €β €β €β €β €β β €β €β €β €β£½ β’Έβ ‡β €β €β €β’€β‘€β ¦β’€β‘„β €β €β‘Ÿ Ⓒ⠀⠀⠀⠀⑾⠀⠀⠀⑿⠀⠀⣇⣀⣀ β’Έβ €β €β ˆβ ‰β “β’¦β‘€β’°β£‡β‘€β €β ‰β €β €β£‰β ‡ β ˆβ “β ’β ’β €β β šβ ƒβ €β ˆβ ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β 
December 2021

Among Us / Amogus

nature has molded females to become a holy being

nature has molded females to become a holy being. they must be worshipped at all costs. since they lack the barbaric y chromosome and testosterone, they are unaggressive and thus good people. they are prophets, they are guides. questioning them is foolish and expecting πŸ’¦ for free is blasphemy. i will protect women at all costs and sacrifice everything for them because even their motherhood is a natural wonder. simping is a way of life. it is worship. would you make fun of a muslim for praying? then don't make fun of me either
October 2021

Simps

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

Text-to-Speech Playing