[Copypasta] Bad at video games. Get good.

twitchquotes: Hello Streamer. I would like to tell you a story. I am a 44 year old women from Colombia. My babby is 14 yaer old and has ligma so he cannot play vidya games. Everi day he must roll his wheelchair to school where he is bullied because of his condition. When he comes home he has no friends to play with, so the only thing he can do is to watch your stream. Because at least then he will feel good about his life since you are so fucking bad at video games. Fucking loser. Get good.
twitch chat
August 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

WHAT DID GEODUDE SAY TO THE BARBER

twitchquotes: WHAT DID GEODUDE SAY TO THE BARBER 🤔 THANKS MOM
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

This is shit

twitchquotes: ▀█▀ █▬█ █ ▄█▀ █ ▄█▀ ▄█▀ █▬█ █ ▀█▀
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Diablo 2 was great Kripp

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Diablo 2 was great Kripp, I especially loved the part where you mindlessly clicked in an endless, ball-numbing drone for hours on end as the screen flooded with indiscernible ***. (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

If you ever need a man to be the kiwi to your pie...

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʏ ɢɪʀʟ, ɪ ʜᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇs, sᴏ ʜᴏᴡ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs? ɪ'ᴅ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴇʀᴏɴɪ ᴀɴʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅɪɢɴɪᴛASS (ʜᴇʜᴇ). ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀ ᴍᴀɴ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪᴡɪ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘɪᴇ, ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍʏ ғᴇᴅᴏʀᴀ ᴀʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴄʀᴜᴢɪɴ' ᴀɴᴅ ʙʀᴜᴢɪɴ' ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ʀᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ғɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ɢʟᴜᴇ. ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʙᴀʀᴏɴ, ᴏʀ ɪ'ʟʟ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴜᴛ ᴄʀᴜᴍʙᴢ
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie
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