[Copypasta] Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman

twitchquotes: Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman. After recently maxing my ultimate ironman I decided to up the ante, and forge my own journey from scratch. No banking, no trading, but this time I can't leave Morytania.
twitch chat
March 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Spam Bob Ross To Prevent A Zackray Loss

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob Spam CoolStoryBob Bob CoolStoryBob Ross CoolStoryBob to CoolStoryBob prevent CoolStoryBob a CoolStoryBob Zackray CoolStoryBob loss CoolStoryBob
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

Why do so many people watch this washed up player?

twitchquotes: Why do so many people watch this washed up player? He is so bad at this game. Why is his hair so long? Does hair length have a connection to a players skill? Is that why girls are so bad at league?
twitch chat
December 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

Your anime dreams will not happen

You will never be Japanese. You will never find the love of your life in Japan, who looks like this and is a cutiepie Japanese girl. You will never be the protagonist in an anime. You will never have superpowers that allow you to overcome your most greatest tribulations. You'll always be a loser.
February 2021

Weebs

I hate the French language

I struggle to find the right words to describe just how much I hate the French language. I'm not racist but I think the world would really be a better place if all French speakers just stopped speaking French and learned a normal language. Nothing about this language remotely makes sense, or is even internally consistent. Why are there so many silent letters? Half the words have pronunciations which somewhat resemble their spelling, and the other half seems like French people just decided to add a bunch of letters so they can act like they're better than everyone else. The language seems like it's deliberately constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. Why the hell do verbs have different conjugations for you, me, he/she, we, you(plural), and them? Even the English language doesn't have that many arbitrary conjugations. I made an honest attempt to learn French, I really did, but the language is just filled with bullshit rules for grammar and everything else. Whichever way you look at it, it's almost as if French is constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. For real, English isn't my first language but I learned it just fine; trying to learn French after that feels like bashing my head against the wall. This is somewhat irrelevant, but I've heard that some French speakers who speak some English like to pretend they don't speak it when you talk to them. Why do you have to make life difficult for everyone, I'm not going to make fun of you for speaking English poorly. That's not even mentioning how metropolitan French has a superiority complex over other variations of French, all neutral observers will agree that they are equally shit. Also I've heard that some French speakers tend to discriminate against people who speak a local dialect of French, as if one version of a language is better than all others. Sure, the same thing happens with English, but at least the English language doesn't suck.
April 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing