[Copypasta] My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane

twitchquotes: I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane, I topdecked the exact cards I needed for lethal, actually Kripp played it perfectly, there was nothing he could do, it was such a joke.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019

Having to call a judge “your honor” is so cringey (found on /r/unpopularopinion)

“Your Honor”. I mean gimmie a fuckin’ break, dude. What else do you want me to call you? Your highness? Do you want me to fondle your nuts while I blow you, too? I’ve seriously seen courtrooms where they’ll say “Sir” and the judge will be like “It’s “Your Honor” young man!!” Fuck off. How much of an egotist you gotta be to care about some medieval-ass title? Use “Sir” like everybody else. It’s some LARPING I’d expect kids to do. “Oh Billy you have to call me supreme ruler snorlax the magical wizard!!1!” Shut up. EDIT: I’m literally 22 and have never been in front of a judge, y’all, please relax and slow down with the theory crafting/ story writing. EDIT 2: A lot of people are saying “it’s just a title, like Doctor!”. Judges have a title like “Doctor”, it’s called “Judge” - Doctors don’t expect us to call them “Thy Healer” or some crap like that.
August 2021

I sexually identify as a centipede

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a centipede. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dropping dank memes on cucks everywhere. People say to me that a person being a centipede is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install 100 legs and two hollow fangs on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Nimble Navigator” and respect my right to meme everywhere and trigger endlessly.
twitch chat
November 2016

2016 US Election

I sexually Identify as

Great Thermo-War

twitchquotes: It is the year 2134. I am one of the last people on the planet. Nearly everyone was wiped out in the Great Thermo-War. Now there is no reason to live. I open my holodeck-transponder and go to "Twitch tv". I turn on Kripp's stream and see that he has made it to Rank 10. I succumb to my radiation poisoning.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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