[Copypasta] My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019
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Mimikyu

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠛⠉⢹⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠄⠠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡘⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠉⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢡⠄⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠞⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠗⠚⠉⠉⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠲⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⢠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠉⣴⣆⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣇⢰⡧⣉⡉⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣿⡷⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢻⠘⠃⠈⠻⢦⠞⠋⠙⠺⠋⠉⠉⠉⢡⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⢲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠁⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⠀⢸⣦⣴⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⡰⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠈⠋⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠰⣮⣉⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠉⠻⠥⠤⢤⣶⢄⠀⢀⣠⣄⠀⠀⢠⣶⣤⣄⠈⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠈⠋⠁⠠⠁⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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November 2020

Pokemon

It's 2094 and Jared still can't get back to challenger

twitchquotes: It's the year 2094 jared still can't get back to challenger. Qt and dom have trolled him in every promo he has played for the past 80 years. FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Trollge emote smiling

⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠰⠶⠿⢰⣿⣶⣦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⡄⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠉⣉⣉⣩⣥⡶⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⡀⠀⢠⣿⠟⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣄⠀⣤⣤⣤⢰⣿⡦⣿⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠀⠛⠛⠋⠈⠉⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⡆⣤⣤⣄⡄⢀⣀⣀⢀⣀⢀⡄⠀⢨⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠃⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⡋⣿⠏⠛⣃⣤⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣠⣤⣠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁
ascii art
June 2021

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Holy Champion: how many fingers do you see?

twitchquotes: ╭∩╮( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ How many fingers do you see? ╭∩╮ ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
October 2015
Kibler
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