[Copypasta] My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019
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Poggersception

โ „โ ฐโ ›โ ‹โข‰โฃกโฃคโฃ„โก‰โ “โขฆโฃ€โ ™โ ‰โ กโ ”โ ’โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ถโขถโฃ„โ ˜โขฟโฃทโฃคโกˆโ ปโฃง โข€โก”โ „โ „โ „โ ™โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃคโ ‰โ โก€โ โ ’โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃ„โกˆโ ณโข„โฃนโฃฟโฃฟโฃพโฃฟ โฃผโ โข โก„โ „โ „โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ „โกโ โก€โ „โ ˆโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃคโกˆโ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โขปโก€โ ˆโ „โ „โฃ€โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ƒโ „โก‡โ ˆโ ›โ „โ „โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ Ÿโ ‹โฃ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โข‰โก“โ šโ ›โ ›โ ‹โฃ‰โฃฉโฃคโฃคโฃ€โ ‘โ คโฃคโฃคโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ›โขโฃคโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โ ˆโ ™โ ›โ ‹โฃญโฃญโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฆโข โกโ ‰โ ‰โข โฃคโฃดโ šโขฉโฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โขดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฆโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃฅโฃดโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โฃดโฃถโกถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโฃฎโฃญโฃโฃ›โ ฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โ ™โฃฟโก„โ „โ „โข€โกคโ ฌโขญโฃโฃ’โข‚โ ญโฃ‰โ ปโ ฟโฃทโฃถโฃฆโฃญโก›โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โ „โ ธโฃฟโก‡โ „โ ธโฃŽโฃโฃพโ ฟโ ‰โข€โ ‡โฃธโฃฟโฃฟโข†โก‰โ นโฃฟโฃฟโขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโก‡โ „โข€โกถโ ถโ ถโ พโ ฟโ ฎโ ญโ ญโขญโฃฅโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโขธโฃฟโขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โ „โ „โฃฟโก‡โ „โ ˆโฃทโ „โ „โ „โฃญโฃ™โฃนโข™โฃฐโกŽโฃฟโขโฃกโฃพโขโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โ „โขฐโฃฟโก‡โ „โ „โขฟโ „โ „โ ˆโฃฟโ ‰โ ‰โฃปโฃฟโกทโฃฐโฃฟโกฟโฃกโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โ „โขธโฃฟโก‡โ „โ „โ ˜โ ฟโ คโ คโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโขคโฃคโฃคโกฟโฃƒโฃธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ „โ „โ ˜โขฟโฃทโฃคโฃ„โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โฃดโฃพโกฟโข‹โฃผโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ‹
ascii art
June 2021

Pepe

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020

Bender

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2021

Do you know who I am? I am a 4.0 STEM Major

twitchquotes: Do you know who the fuck you're talking to right now? I'm a 4.0 STEM major with a full ride to a top ten university. I'm in the 97th percentile of IQ intelligence (the test wouldn't go any higher). I literally tip the scales with my intelligence. I am the furthest thing from a "twitch chat idiot".
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

HELLO BLIZZARD I WANT TO REPORT A BUG

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“ž BabyRage HELLO BLIZZARD ๐Ÿ“ž BabyRage I WANT TO REPORT A BUG ๐Ÿ“ž BabyRage MY OPPONENTS ARE ALL NETDECKERS
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

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