[Copypasta] My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019
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Please don't copy paste or I might get fired

twitchquotes: Hey guys, Im a blizzard employee and I wanted to give all you fellow kripparians a sneak peak at one of our new GvG cards. It's called the coin- 0 mana and if you play it turn 1 as the first player, it randomly selects a player and they automatically win. Hope you are all excited for the new expansion, please don't copy paste or I might get fired.
twitch chat
November 2014
TidesOfTime

voting booth inspection is not required

twitchquotes: So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!
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November 2020

2020 US Election

the unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's chess game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but I just keep lowrolling and going eif!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
September 2021
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Sing2x this is your girlfriend

twitch chat
January 2015
SingSing

Sniperino

twitchquotes: ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽_•︻̷̿┻̿═━一 Sniperino
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
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