[Copypasta] i graduated top of my class from burger king

twitchquotes: you fucking vegan, ill have you know i graduated top of my class from burger king university in burger flipping and have flipped over 9000 burgers in my day you dumb vegan, but you wouldn't know that would you you soy muncher? If you said that to my face I would be flipping patties all over your vegan face and you'd be full of my meat before you even knew what was happening.
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Octavian Morosan. I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA. Recent reports say that you are playing a children's card game and spilling PJSalt everywhere. The PJSalt is clogging our network and blocking our abilities to spy on you and the rest of Canadaland. I am going to have to ask you to stop the salt as it is a threat to national security. Please don't copy paste this official document. This is serious.
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

salty

Dex barks at Kripp

twitchquotes: OhMyDog "Alright, bark at Kripp, I guess" OhMyDog "Haven't barked at Kripp in a while, let's go bark" OhMyDog "Barking at Kripp isn't that good, but alright" OhMyDog
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Kripp ignores chat draft

twitchquotes: As a young boy, Kripp lived with his family in a chateau in Romania. Kripp had a younger sister who was born frail and prone to illness. The family always took special care to make sure she was never too cold or hot. One day Kripp's parents were late and told Kripp to put his sister to bed. Kripp accidentally left the window of the chateau open, his sister contracted pneumonia and died. At the funeral, his father sobbed and said "My son, why did you ignore the chat draft?"
twitch chat
November 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Marketing Director for Doritos messages Kripp

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴍᴀʀᴋᴇᴛɪɴɢ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏs, ᴄʜᴜᴄᴋ ᴏʀᴡᴇʟʟ ᴘʏʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀᴋᴀ ᴄ.ᴏ. ᴘʏʀɪɴᴏ. sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ sᴇʟʟᴏᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴏɴsᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ! ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇʀᴄɪᴀʟ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴛᴏsɪs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ғʀɪᴛᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ғʀɪᴛᴏʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ᴅᴏʀɪᴛᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
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