[Copypasta] Kripp discovered one weird trick to look twice his age

twitchquotes: Kripp is the remarkable twenty year old that discovered one weird trick to look twice his age. It's called being VEGAN and it limits your body’s nutritional intake and makes you look and feel TWICE AS OLD. Why would anyone want to be vegan you may ask, well all vegans hate animals so they eat all the animals food so that they starve to death.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

"Only 200 Gems, are you kidding me?!"

twitchquotes: "Only 200 Gems, are you kidding me?!" screams Kripp at the struggling mobile game dev who's game he is being sponsored to play. "How am I supposed to hit rank 1 without a massive head-start over everyone else!? I have to be able to brag to my chat about being #1 in every game I play!" The developer, scared, gives in to his demands. Business as usual for the Kripp.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

sellout

Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Hey Kripp, how's it going, totemic might here

twitchquotes: ◥█̆◤ Hey Kripp, how's it going, totemic might here. I would just like to ask if you would build a totemic might deck where you use your totem and make it mighty for 0 mana. Thanks!◥█̆◤
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

The pasta will be that pasta that you’ve spammed

twitchquotes: I looked at this pasta originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a pasta, and you spam this pasta. The pasta will be that pasta that you’ve spammed, so you’re spamming a pasta. So it is one thing to spam a pasta if your chat doesn’t really have any pasta. The pasta will screw up the pasta pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good pasta.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

I’ll be in Rania’s chat from now on

twitchquotes: If you need me, I’ll be in Rania’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a salty balding vegan.
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Simps

Text-to-Speech Playing