Bro your balls are so fucking gigantic and saggy they got their own zip code, and when you walk it sounds like two bowling balls in a pillowcase slapping against your knees — thwack thwack thwack. You don’t sit down anymore, you just collapse like a building demolition while your nuts hit the floor first and yell “TIMBERRRR!” You need a forklift just to take a piss. Your dick? That poor little thing is basically a frightened turtle hiding between two weather balloons. You can’t even wipe your own ass — your balls get in the way so you have to hire a professional ball-holder to lift them for you. Showering takes forty-five minutes because you gotta shampoo them separately, condition them, and blow-dry so they don’t get swamp ass. Your girlfriend didn’t break up with you, she filed for divorce from your balls. They got their own Instagram with more followers than you. Every time you stand up your nuts scream “we’re free!” and slap the back of your thighs like they’re applauding their own escape. You’re not a man, you’re a walking testicular support group.
Submitted by:anonymous
Bro your balls are so fucking gigantic and saggy they got their own zip code, and when you walk it sounds like two bowling balls in a pillowcase slapping against your knees — thwack thwack thwack. You don’t sit down anymore, you just collapse like a building demolition while your nuts hit the floor first and yell “TIMBERRRR!” You need a forklift just to take a piss. Your dick? That poor little thing is basically a frightened turtle hiding between two weather balloons. You can’t even wipe your own ass — your balls get in the way so you have to hire a professional ball-holder to lift them for you. Showering takes forty-five minutes because you gotta shampoo them separately, condition them, and blow-dry so they don’t get swamp ass. Your girlfriend didn’t break up with you, she filed for divorce from your balls. They got their own Instagram with more followers than you. Every time you stand up your nuts scream “we’re free!” and slap the back of your thighs like they’re applauding their own escape. You’re not a man, you’re a walking testicular support group.
I have an addiction for scratching my balls. I don't know why, but during any moment, I still scratch my balls. At some point in a day I scratch those pubes like a mosquito bite, and do it to the point my dick starts bleeding. And then it gets sore, and it gets hard for me to scratch my balls. I do not know how to stop it. I have talked to therapists about it, but they said, "nothing is wrong, you are fine." And one of the side effects to the balls scratching is ripping some skin off my ball sack because I scratch it so hard, and it leaves a mark. Another thing is, whenever I see the sexiest girl in class, my dick starts making me scratch it like five seconds later. And then scratching turns into stroking. And then cum bursts out and a little bit comes out to my underwear when I am looking at the girl, which is when she started bullying me in front of the class nonstop. I am now mentally depressed about this, and please support me on my journey.
Submitted by:anonymous
I have an addiction for scratching my balls. I don't know why, but during any moment, I still scratch my balls. At some point in a day I scratch those pubes like a mosquito bite, and do it to the point my dick starts bleeding. And then it gets sore, and it gets hard for me to scratch my balls. I do not know how to stop it. I have talked to therapists about it, but they said, "nothing is wrong, you are fine." And one of the side effects to the balls scratching is ripping some skin off my ball sack because I scratch it so hard, and it leaves a mark. Another thing is, whenever I see the sexiest girl in class, my dick starts making me scratch it like five seconds later. And then scratching turns into stroking. And then cum bursts out and a little bit comes out to my underwear when I am looking at the girl, which is when she started bullying me in front of the class nonstop. I am now mentally depressed about this, and please support me on my journey.
This is why I never talk to you or reply to any of your shit, because even if you were incompetent you would be willing to learn and be accepting that people aren't just going to give you shit for free either way. So if you wanted to kick ass why are you even here in the first place? I AM NOT YOUR PROGRAMMING SLAVE. I DO NOT CODE FOR YOU. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY I SHOULD EVER TELL YOU SHIT. IF YOU WERE ANY LESS OF AN IMBECILE YOU WOULD AT LEAST ATTEMPT SOME RUDIMENTARY PROGRAMMING. the shit isn't even hard. I REALLY do mean that. and you chose to BRING THE FUCKING BATTLESUIT ON THE SNEAKING LEVEL. I STILL DONT KNOW IF YOU WERE TROLLING BUT I FUCKING HATE YOU.
Submitted by:anonymous
This is why I never talk to you or reply to any of your shit, because even if you were incompetent you would be willing to learn and be accepting that people aren't just going to give you shit for free either way. So if you wanted to kick ass why are you even here in the first place? I AM NOT YOUR PROGRAMMING SLAVE. I DO NOT CODE FOR YOU. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY I SHOULD EVER TELL YOU SHIT. IF YOU WERE ANY LESS OF AN IMBECILE YOU WOULD AT LEAST ATTEMPT SOME RUDIMENTARY PROGRAMMING. the shit isn't even hard. I REALLY do mean that. and you chose to BRING THE FUCKING BATTLESUIT ON THE SNEAKING LEVEL. I STILL DONT KNOW IF YOU WERE TROLLING BUT I FUCKING HATE YOU.
Reddit Guy's Weird Sex Music or Cbat by Hudson Mohawke refers to reactions and memes made about a post to the /r/TIFU subreddit in which a user complains about his girlfriend's frustration with the music he prefers to play during intercourse. The story initially went viral on Twitter, before migrating to TikTok where people attempted to replicate how he would likely thrust to the beat of the song in question, "Cbat" by Hudson Mohawke. On September 1st, 2022, Redditor TylerLife submitted a post to the subreddit /r/TIFU, which stands for "Today I Fucked Up." The post read, "TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off." The post gathered over 75,000 upvotes in two days.
Reddit Guy's Weird Sex Music or Cbat by Hudson Mohawke refers to reactions and memes made about a post to the /r/TIFU subreddit in which a user complains about his girlfriend's frustration with the music he prefers to play during intercourse. The story initially went viral on Twitter, before migrating to TikTok where people attempted to replicate how he would likely thrust to the beat of the song in question, "Cbat" by Hudson Mohawke. On September 1st, 2022, Redditor TylerLife submitted a post to the subreddit /r/TIFU, which stands for "Today I Fucked Up." The post read, "TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off." The post gathered over 75,000 upvotes in two days.
Reddit Guy's Weird Sex Music or Cbat by Hudson Mohawke refers to reactions and memes made about a post to the /r/TIFU subreddit in which a user complains about his girlfriend's frustration with the music he prefers to play during intercourse. The story initially went viral on Twitter, before migrating to TikTok where people attempted to replicate how he would likely thrust to the beat of the song in question, "Cbat" by Hudson Mohawke. On September 1st, 2022, Redditor TylerLife submitted a post to the subreddit /r/TIFU, which stands for "Today I Fucked Up." The post read, "TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off." The post gathered over 75,000 upvotes in two days.
Reddit Guy's Weird Sex Music or Cbat by Hudson Mohawke refers to reactions and memes made about a post to the /r/TIFU subreddit in which a user complains about his girlfriend's frustration with the music he prefers to play during intercourse. The story initially went viral on Twitter, before migrating to TikTok where people attempted to replicate how he would likely thrust to the beat of the song in question, "Cbat" by Hudson Mohawke. On September 1st, 2022, Redditor TylerLife submitted a post to the subreddit /r/TIFU, which stands for "Today I Fucked Up." The post read, "TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off." The post gathered over 75,000 upvotes in two days.