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I love watching QT games

twitchquotes: I love watching QT games. It always shows me that no matter how far behind a team is, they can come back and stomp QT; truly inspiring.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Stop saying the word cum

Stop saying the word cum so much are you fucking retarded? What's so funny about semen? AHAHAHAHA CUM COOM CAM CAM HAHAHA LOOK AT ME. SEXSEXSEXX AAAHHAAHAH!!!!!!SHUT THE FUCK UP MAKE IT STOP. Me (M18) and my gf (F19) were doing the good sexy sex when I decided to browse Reddit and then I see it: CUM!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYY??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????? THATS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING AND IMMATURE AND MY GF LEFT ME AFTER SHE READ THAT! THATS SO FUNNY FOR YOU ISN'T IT???? ISNT IT WHAT YOU WANTED??? NOONE RUINS MY SEX SEXY SEX SEX WITH MY FEMALE COMPANION. Sincerely, FUCK YOU
April 2022
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PADORUPADORU

twitchquotes: PADORUPADORU Hashire sori yo PADORUPADORU Kaze no you nii PADORUPADORU Tsukimihara wo PADORUPADORU Padoru padoruuu! PADORUPADORU
twitch chat
December 2018

I regret to inform you, there is no cock left

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“œ โœ๏ธ ๐ผ ๐“‡๐‘’๐‘”๐“‡๐‘’๐“‰ ๐“‰๐‘œ ๐’พ๐“ƒ๐’ป๐‘œ๐“‡๐“‚ ๐“Ž๐‘œ๐“Š, ๐“‰๐’ฝ๐‘’๐“‡๐‘’ ๐’พ๐“ˆ ๐“ƒ๐‘œ ๐’ธ๐‘œ๐’ธ๐“€ ๐“๐‘’๐’ป๐“‰.
twitch chat
February 2021

I love Pokimane

A lot of people say that Pokimane is not really a talented streamer but she's famous. A lot of people say her success comes from looking good and i'd agree with them and some of these people say her success comes from her personality and all the time she's spent streaming and i'd also agree with them. The thing is I think i'm in love with Pokimane and I think she's super pretty, talented, amazing, beautifal, funny, and smart. I want to make Pokimane my wife and wake up to her next to me every morning. I want to please her in every way I can just to see the smile on her face. Every time I think about waking up next to her , it makes me so happy and so in love with her. I think she has one of the most beautiful bodies on this earth and I would like to see her with my own eyes every day. Her smile , her charm, her charisma, her laughter, her tears, her thoughts, her feelings. I want to share everything with this women that I've fallen for. I don't care that people are going to say that I have no chance with her it's fine but thinking about being with her makes me happy so why is it so wrong to have that. If you guys want to make fun of me for liking Pokimane that's fine but I'll always love her with everything I have. I want to be with Pokimane through life , through death, through thick and thin, through sadness and sorrow, and everlasting happiness, I want to be there. I know i've already said this before but I'll say it again make fun of me for falling in love with Pokimane but you'll never break the love i have for her.
January 2021
Pokimane

Simps

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I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West

I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
August 2021

Kanye West

imaqtpie think he is popular

twitchquotes: imaqtpie think he is popular but the truth is i am watching his stream with all my 20k accounts for proof i will copy and paste this on all my accounts
twitch chat
August 2017
imaqtpie

Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 1

So today in school, my English teacher was having us do presentation in front of our class. For my presentation, I decided to troll my entire class by making my entire slideshow about the popular game, Among Us. I started off the presentation by showing the class the picture of the Among Us imposter wearing sneakers (it's a meme on google if you want to search for it). For some reason, no one laughed at the meme. My teacher told me "this isn't what your presentation is supposed to be about." I responded by yelling "THE TEACHER IS SUS I SAW HER VENT" and then naruto running around the room. Again, no one even giggled. I assume it's because it was forst bell and everyone was tired. My teacher said "Please sit down." But I wasn't about to give up. I made a last ditch effort to make everyone laugh. I started to beatbox the Among Us theme song trap remix. I was beatboxing it so well (i had practiced it at home), i was certain that everyone would burst out in laughter. Unfortunately, not a single person laughed. Everyone was staring at me, so I said "You guys are all sussy, I'm gonna eject you". Long story short, I ended up getting a bad grade on my presentation and I got a detention. However, it was worth it because I totally got to troll my entire class.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2

It's Cinco de mayo... ๐Ÿ‘€๐ŸŒฎ๐ŸŽ‰ but all I want ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป is cinco DICKS ๐ŸŒฏ in my May-OUTH ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ Today the SEXicans ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ beat the French ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท at the Battle of Puebla ๐Ÿ”ซโ˜  and now you're gonna get your piรฑata beat ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ฉ with a huge stick ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐ŸŽ‰ but โ—๏ธONLYโ—๏ธ if you send ๐Ÿ“ฒ this to 5๏ธโƒฃ amigos ๐Ÿ‘ฌ you'd cross borders โžก๏ธ for ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ฏ Get 5๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿ”™ and you'll find the Juan for you tonight โค๏ธโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

This is the shittiest reply ever

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Fortnite requires movement, editing, building, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not โ€œpositionsโ€ in Fortnite. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Fortnite

What happened to this ad? :(

Roe v. Wade Emoji Pasta

HEY ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ˜ฉ there comrade ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ชcummy! the ๐Ÿ‘น supreme ๐Ÿ† cock๐Ÿ› has ๐Ÿ—ณvoted to strike ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš–๏ธโŒ›๏ธdown the ๐ŸŒˆ sexy ๐Ÿคง๐Ÿคฐ๐Ÿปroe v. wade decision ๐Ÿ˜according ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿฆถ๐Ÿปto a opinion ๐Ÿ–Šwrittenโœ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ธ by daddy ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™ˆ sammy ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ aLITo. ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ’จ the opinion is a ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐ŸŒ FULL THROATED ๐Ÿ“ฒโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅGIRTHY ๐Ÿ† contraDICKtion ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ‘ of the 1973 ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘Ždecision that ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ guaranteed federal ๐Ÿ˜ค cocks-titutuinal ๐Ÿ˜ณ protection ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’„of abortion rights!!! โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿซกeveryone who ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’ฆ woke remember ๐Ÿ™‹โœŠ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค” to fund ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿฅต planned parenthood and ๐ŸŒช๐Ÿ‘ผ donate to ๐Ÿง‘๐Ÿผโ€๐Ÿผ๐Ÿค‘abortion funds! get yo ๐Ÿ“ธuturuses ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ‘ turnt you ๐Ÿ’ƒwhore! ๐ŸŒญevery whore knows ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿผthat everyone ๐Ÿ”œshould have ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿฅaccess to safe ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒŽabortions โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜ if they choose ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘€ to have one. ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘นsend to ten ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ™of your closest ๐Ÿšฑ๐Ÿ…พ๏ธWHORES to secure abortion ๐Ÿ“ซ๐Ÿคrights in ameriCUM ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธif you get five โœ‹ back abortion ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’‹rights will be codified ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš–๏ธ๐Ÿคคin law ๐Ÿ“ธ๐Ÿ‘ 
May 2022

Emoji Pasta

Politics

TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre", is a myth propogated by Western governments to destabilize China. The hoax supposedly involved military suppression of democracy protesters using troops and tanks in June of 1989.
twitch chat
November 2019

What ever happened to innovative and original copy pastas?

twitchquotes: Wow guys, enabling bttv gif emotes was by far the worst decision of my life. Is spamming chat with these annoying gachiBASS emotes really the only thing that kids these days do? Am I just out of touch, or is this what chat has devolved to these days? What ever happened to innovative and original copy pastas?
twitch chat
January 2018

hey xqc are you lying about my mom?

twitchquotes: hey xqc are you lying about fucking my mom? if so my dad will beat you up, hes a retired navy seal. I have never seen you in my house which is quite odd, but if i saw you i would beat you up on god.
twitch chat
June 2020
xQcOW

Having a son might be more cucked than a daughter

Atleast by having a daughter you can guarantee your bloodline. Plus its a fact that daughters are more biologically inclined to love and respect their fathers. Those whores you see on the internet all suffer from daddy issues aka absent father. A daughter with a present father usually turns out ok. I say its more cucked because biologically mothers are closest to their sons. Now imagine this. You and your wife are older and she thinks you can't satisfy her anymore, then she views pretty much a younger healthier version of you in their son. Now imagine being cucked by your own son, that shit has to be insanely brutal. Atleast wiith your daughter you can get some action, but with your son you cant plus you risk being cucked. Daughters in their younger years always prefer being around their dads. Which is why i say daughter>son. Plus daughters are usually more agreeable with their fathers unlike sons who want to bash heads to show who is the alpha in the household.
June 2021

NSFW

What happened to this ad? :(

FEELS TEST

twitchquotes: FEELS TEST FeelsBadMan IF YOU TOUCH THE FEELS, YOU'RE DEPRESSED โŽ FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
August 2017

Chat Test

Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

How I got into Harvard

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)
December 2020

Rick and Morty

Eminem is great but...

twitchquotes: Eminem is great but I listen to 3Pac, M&Ms, 3 Chainz, Big Wayne, Small Sean, 60 Cent, Snoop Catt, Mr. Dre, Ice Cubed, Old Jeezy, Jay-Y, Soulja Girl, Jizz Khalifa, Anna Kendrick Lamar, Hard-E, Andre 2999, Big B, Weak Mill, Semi-Automatic Kelly, Adult Cudi, Wu-Tang Tag Team, KRS-Two, and Kanye East instead.
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen
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NFT Navy Seal Copypasta

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little pirate? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at Full Sail University, and I've been involved in numerous secret Photoshop files, and I have over 300 confirmed NFTs. I am trained in gorilla artwork and I'm the top artist in the entire US armed artists. You are nothing to me but just another pirate. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of discord servers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can turn you into an NFT in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed brushstrokes, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States NFT Corps and I will use it to its full extent to stomp your miserable ass directly into the blockchain, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit paint all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
December 2021

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

Navy Seal

Text-to-Speech Playing