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Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Facestone

twitchquotes: Important message from Blizzard® Customer Support: We recently renamed Hearthstone® to Facestone®. Please make sure not to use Hearthstone®, Skillstone® or RNGStone® since these names are obsolete. Thank you.
twitch chat
March 2015
Forsen
I used to be a real ad

Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Team Rocket Prepare For Trouble in Japanese

twitchquotes: 尸尺乇尸卂尺乇 下口尺 丅尺口凵乃乚乇! 卂𠘨刀 从卂长乇 工丅 刀口凵乃乚乇! 丅口 尸尺口丅乇匚丅 丅卄乇 山口尺乚刀 下尺口从 刀乇リ卂丂丅卂丅工口𠘨! 丅口 凵𠘨工丅乇 卂乚乚 尸乇口尸乚乇丂 山工丅卄工𠘨 口凵尺 𠘨卂丅工口𠘨! 丅口 刀乇𠘨口凵𠘨匚乇 丅卄乇 乇リ工乚丂 口下 丅尺凵丅卄 卂𠘨刀 乚口リ乇! 丅口 乇乂丅乇𠘨刀 口凵尺 尺乇卂匚卄 丅口 丅卄乇 丂丅卂尺丂 卂乃口リ乇! 丁乇丂丂工乇! 丁卂从乇丂! 丅乇卂从 尺口匚长乇丅 乃乚卂丂丅丂 口下下 卂丅 丅卄乇 丂尸乇乇刀 口下 乚工厶卄丅! 丂凵尺尺乇𠘨刀乇尺 𠘨口山, 口尺 尸尺乇尸卂尺乇 丅口 下工厶卄丅! 从乇口山丅卄! 丅卄卂丅'丂 尺工厶卄丅!
twitch chat
August 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

Obi Wan Shapiro

Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

I used to be a real ad

Sniper Guild recruiter here

twitchquotes: Sniper Guild recruiter here TheIlluminati . Our mighty organization of hundreds of Sniparrians is in need of new initiates who can infiltrate the Kripparrians stream. A minimum experience of two snipes is required. Do not worry about time delays or snitches, our buddy Drivezy has you covered. We hope you will consider joining us in our quest to defeat Kripparrian
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022

wow this chat is so immature

twitchquotes: wow this chat is so immature, i can't even imagine how you are able to live in real life. Spamming nonsense 24/7. real viewers trying to learn from the game can't focus on the players and their decisions. please stop
twitch chat
June 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece!

twitchquotes: I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece! It perfectly encapsulates the spirit of 2018 and the super funny memes we had this year such as fortnite dances, baby shark, dame tu cosita, k pop, and more! I especially like the part with everyone jumping out of the bus in the sky! That was so cool it looked so real. Thank you YouTube for making my year and reminding me of the awesome funny memes!!!
twitch chat
December 2018

My Kappa is broken

twitchquotes: My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace
twitch chat
June 2017
What happened to this ad? :(

React Andys constantly pausing the YouTube video

twitchquotes: Streamer the thing is, im just gonna be honest, i really dont care what u have to say, ur words mean nothing to me. But this video...this video means everything to me. And u keep pausing to speak, this feels like a personal attack. Please resume the video and shut the fuck up.
twitch chat
April 2021
Mizkif

I love Pokimane

A lot of people say that Pokimane is not really a talented streamer but she's famous. A lot of people say her success comes from looking good and i'd agree with them and some of these people say her success comes from her personality and all the time she's spent streaming and i'd also agree with them. The thing is I think i'm in love with Pokimane and I think she's super pretty, talented, amazing, beautifal, funny, and smart. I want to make Pokimane my wife and wake up to her next to me every morning. I want to please her in every way I can just to see the smile on her face. Every time I think about waking up next to her , it makes me so happy and so in love with her. I think she has one of the most beautiful bodies on this earth and I would like to see her with my own eyes every day. Her smile , her charm, her charisma, her laughter, her tears, her thoughts, her feelings. I want to share everything with this women that I've fallen for. I don't care that people are going to say that I have no chance with her it's fine but thinking about being with her makes me happy so why is it so wrong to have that. If you guys want to make fun of me for liking Pokimane that's fine but I'll always love her with everything I have. I want to be with Pokimane through life , through death, through thick and thin, through sadness and sorrow, and everlasting happiness, I want to be there. I know i've already said this before but I'll say it again make fun of me for falling in love with Pokimane but you'll never break the love i have for her.
January 2021
Pokimane

Simps

Windmill of Friendship

twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 📉 Um.... Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month...
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League that is often associated with very low domestic player participation (2/5). Is also ridiculed for being washed-up and it is specifically known for its obnoxious fanbase and mind-numbing throws.
October 2021

EU vs NA

I used to be a real ad

Transcript of Will Smith and his wife

Jada: Are you going to let him speak about me like that? Will: What, it was funny, you were terrible in G.I. Jane J: I wasn't in G.I. Jane, Will W: Oh, then why did he say that? J: It was a joke about my hair!! W: Girl, you ain't got no hair J: THATS THE POINT WILL!! W: Ohh. ohhhh. OH Hell No!!
March 2022

Will Smith Slap

Hey guys Saltarian here

twitchquotes: Hey guys Saltarian here, just want to let chat know that in order to survive I need to Feast upon the salt energy that kripp produces upon experiencing a long bout of bad luck. So please snipe and emote him in ways that will evoke his true salt essence. with enough salt I will take control of his scrawny vegan body and I will give chat what they have been waiting for all along...
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

America as a nation can be defined as a single word

"America as a nation can be defined as a single word: Iwasinthefootasdkjhasjckabcxdqiweywqfootuidhaksb... excuse me, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping, traveling with him, traveled 17,000 miles when I was Vice President. I don't know that for a fact." - Joe Biden
April 2022

Joe Biden

Putin had a private screening of Morbius

Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
June 2022

Morbius

I used to be a real ad

Anyone here frawum arizona?

twitchquotes: Anyone here frawum arizona ? KKona Ay recently done caught my ferst alligataw KKona gosh darn it. that there thing done had ovuurr 3 meters in lenght KKona gawd damn rascal kkona
twitch chat
April 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing