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Catch ya in the gym... not

twitchquotes: moon2EZ sup nerds DrinkPurple *sips Monster Energy Drink*. Name's Kyle, and you losers wish you were me. All I need in this world is my sick JUUL Vape pen, a 12 pack of Monsters, and some drywall to punch. I only wear the finest Tapout and Affliction T-shirts and I'm the best fry cook Applebee's has ever had. While you waste away your day on this fucking bald guy's nerd chat, I'll be talking to tons of hot babes on my MetroPCS iPhone. Anyways, stay mad losers, I'm outta here moon2EZ Catch ya in the gym... not
twitch chat
June 2019
MOONMOON

hey xqc are you lying about my mom?

twitchquotes: hey xqc are you lying about fucking my mom? if so my dad will beat you up, hes a retired navy seal. I have never seen you in my house which is quite odd, but if i saw you i would beat you up on god.
twitch chat
June 2020
xQcOW
I used to be a real ad

what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022

Facestone

twitchquotes: Important message from Blizzard® Customer Support: We recently renamed Hearthstone® to Facestone®. Please make sure not to use Hearthstone®, Skillstone® or RNGStone® since these names are obsolete. Thank you.
twitch chat
March 2015
Forsen

Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

xQc toxic twat

twitchquotes: I mean, it’s XQC. We expected anything different? Did any of ya’lll watch him as an OW pro? Let’s be honest here, was only a matter a time. and his channel won’t die, it’s filled with toxic twats just like him. he gets banned from twitch, he’ll go to FB or YT and continue to make bank.
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Team Rocket Prepare For Trouble in Japanese

twitchquotes: 尸尺乇尸卂尺乇 下口尺 丅尺口凵乃乚乇! 卂𠘨刀 从卂长乇 工丅 刀口凵乃乚乇! 丅口 尸尺口丅乇匚丅 丅卄乇 山口尺乚刀 下尺口从 刀乇リ卂丂丅卂丅工口𠘨! 丅口 凵𠘨工丅乇 卂乚乚 尸乇口尸乚乇丂 山工丅卄工𠘨 口凵尺 𠘨卂丅工口𠘨! 丅口 刀乇𠘨口凵𠘨匚乇 丅卄乇 乇リ工乚丂 口下 丅尺凵丅卄 卂𠘨刀 乚口リ乇! 丅口 乇乂丅乇𠘨刀 口凵尺 尺乇卂匚卄 丅口 丅卄乇 丂丅卂尺丂 卂乃口リ乇! 丁乇丂丂工乇! 丁卂从乇丂! 丅乇卂从 尺口匚长乇丅 乃乚卂丂丅丂 口下下 卂丅 丅卄乇 丂尸乇乇刀 口下 乚工厶卄丅! 丂凵尺尺乇𠘨刀乇尺 𠘨口山, 口尺 尸尺乇尸卂尺乇 丅口 下工厶卄丅! 从乇口山丅卄! 丅卄卂丅'丂 尺工厶卄丅!
twitch chat
August 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

Sniper Guild recruiter here

twitchquotes: Sniper Guild recruiter here TheIlluminati . Our mighty organization of hundreds of Sniparrians is in need of new initiates who can infiltrate the Kripparrians stream. A minimum experience of two snipes is required. Do not worry about time delays or snitches, our buddy Drivezy has you covered. We hope you will consider joining us in our quest to defeat Kripparrian
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Navy Seals Copypasta in Yoda Language

You just fucking say about me what the fuck did, you little bitch? Graduated top of my class in the navy seals I have, and involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda I've been, over 300 confirmed kills and I have. Trained in gorilla warfare and the top sniper in the entire us armed forces I am. Hing to me but just another target you are not. Never been seen before on this earth. Wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has, I will, mark my fucking words. You can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet you think? Again think, fucker. Contacting my secret network of spies across the USA I am, and being traced right now your IP is. So prepare for the storm as we speak, you better ,maggot. Your life the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call. Fucking dead, you are, kid. Anywhere I can be, anytime, and kill you in over seven hundred ways, I can , and with my bare hands ,that's just . Extensively trained in unarmed combat not only am I, access to the entire arsenal of the united states marine corps, I also have, and use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, I will, you little shit. Known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you if only you could have. Held your fucking tongue maybe you would have. But you couldn't, you didn't, the price and now you're paying, you goddamn idiot. shit fury all over you, I will and drown in it, you will. Fucking dead, you are kiddo.
December 2020

Navy Seal

I used to be a real ad

wow this chat is so immature

twitchquotes: wow this chat is so immature, i can't even imagine how you are able to live in real life. Spamming nonsense 24/7. real viewers trying to learn from the game can't focus on the players and their decisions. please stop
twitch chat
June 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

Hey guys Saltarian here

twitchquotes: Hey guys Saltarian here, just want to let chat know that in order to survive I need to Feast upon the salt energy that kripp produces upon experiencing a long bout of bad luck. So please snipe and emote him in ways that will evoke his true salt essence. with enough salt I will take control of his scrawny vegan body and I will give chat what they have been waiting for all along...
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

My Kappa is broken

twitchquotes: My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace
twitch chat
June 2017

find yourself a man that respects you

twitchquotes: Poor [female streamer name here], she always has to deal with these idiots. if I was her boyfriend she would get treated like the queen she is. I would never embarass her especially not in front of other people. This is disgusting. [female streamer name here] if you are reading this just get away from these morons and find yourself a man that respects you.
twitch chat
October 2020

Simps

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League that is often associated with very low domestic player participation (2/5). Is also ridiculed for being washed-up and it is specifically known for its obnoxious fanbase and mind-numbing throws.
October 2021

EU vs NA

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Genuine Kripp Smile

twitchquotes: Look at him, look at that smile. That's a genuine Kripp Smile™ there if I ever saw one. Now chat, if you pay close attention you'll realize that these rare, genuine demonstrations of happiness only actually happen when Kripp is playing Hearthstone. Not Artifact, not Magic, not anything else. Hearthstone is where Kripp's heart really is at. We just have to understand and support that, no matter what.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 📉 Um.... Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month...
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Transcript of Will Smith and his wife

Jada: Are you going to let him speak about me like that? Will: What, it was funny, you were terrible in G.I. Jane J: I wasn't in G.I. Jane, Will W: Oh, then why did he say that? J: It was a joke about my hair!! W: Girl, you ain't got no hair J: THATS THE POINT WILL!! W: Ohh. ohhhh. OH Hell No!!
March 2022

Will Smith Slap

I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece!

twitchquotes: I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece! It perfectly encapsulates the spirit of 2018 and the super funny memes we had this year such as fortnite dances, baby shark, dame tu cosita, k pop, and more! I especially like the part with everyone jumping out of the bus in the sky! That was so cool it looked so real. Thank you YouTube for making my year and reminding me of the awesome funny memes!!!
twitch chat
December 2018
What happened to this ad? :(

I am a TSLA bull

twitchquotes: If TSLA has million number of bulls I am one of them. If TSLA has ten bulls I am one of them. If TSLA has no bulls, that means I am no more on the earth. If world is against TSLA, I am against the world. I love TSLA till my last breath.
twitch chat
July 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing