I used to be a real ad
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Why won't my sister french kiss me?

Why won't my sister french kiss me? I have a date this weekend and I have never kissed a girl. Anyways I asked my sister nicely if shed let me practice french kissing with her. She slapped me and locked herself in her room. I screamed that she was the only girl I could practice with and she was being selfish. She got scared and called the cops. Plus she told her boyfriend and he wants to kick my ass. WTF is wrong with my sister. I hate her so much
July 2022

Confessions

John Xina needs your credit card info

๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจCALLING ALL TENCENT GAMERS๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ JOHN XINA ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐ŸฆLOST HIS SOCIAL CREDIT ๐Ÿคฏ ๐ŸคญAND NEEDS YOUR HELP TO GET IT BACK ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ ALL HE NEEDS IS THE 1๏ธโƒฃ2๏ธโƒฃ DIGITS ON YOUR SOCIAL CREDIT CARD ๐Ÿ’ณ ALONG WITH THE EXPIRATION DATE ๐Ÿ“… AND THOSE 3๏ธโƒฃ WACKY DIGITS ON THE BACK ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿฆ
November 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica

twitchquotes: LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica, having been lost at sea due to his lack of geographical knowledge as well as his lack of map awareness and ending up in the region known for their excellent ARAM skills and elderly pro players. He is specifically known for his knowledge about "freezing" and one-tricking Volibear in level 25 draft pick. He states: "I had to shove the wave and ended up in NA. If we hadn't anchored I wouldn't be hardstuck in the fucking atlantic sea" and "No, my pathing wasn't bad, if the captain had listened to me we could've denied 3 waves". He can be found sailing the bottom of solo-queue just like he almost sailed the bottom of the sea.
twitch chat
September 2020
imls

League of Legends

SYMMETRA ACTIVATED

twitchquotes: Jebaited BASTION OVERRATED Jebaited TORB OUTDATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited SYMMETRA ACTIVATED Jebaited
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Ahsoka Tano

twitchquotes: Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your fatherโ€™s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while weโ€™d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi โ€œtrainingโ€ of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics youโ€™d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as sheโ€™d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
November 2020
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Can I mod your chat?

twitchquotes: Can I mod your chat? I graduated top of my class in the US Navy kappaโ€™s, Iโ€™ve been involved in numerous raids on Kripparrianโ€™s chat with over 300 confirmed bans. Iโ€™m trained in copy pasta warfare and Iโ€™m the top mod on Twitch.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

MODS

I like the chat clean of copypasta messages

twitchquotes: I like the fact that this chat doesn't create extremely long copy pasta messages that nobody wants to read. Mods really do a good job making sure that chat is clear of any senseless spam that distracts from the actual content put out by the talented streamer.
twitch chat
January 2020

I will become the Fiora master

twitchquotes: As the pain of hunger overtook the people of Africa they began to feel hope. "I will become the Fiora master!" said Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana. The people of Africa cheered.
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

When will C9 play at Worlds?

twitchquotes: Hi guys, I'm a 12 year old from Uganda. I sold my 6 kids just to be able to afford internet to watch C9 play at worlds. When will they play?
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

I think Kogmaw would be perfect for your playstyle

twitchquotes: Hey imaqtpie, there's a new champ named kogmaw who I think would be perfect for your playstyle. Kogmaw is capable of doing damage after he's been killed and I think you could really benefit from that passive ability. Hope this helps!
twitch chat
August 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I used to be a real ad

TSM Oriental

twitchquotes: Am I seriously the only one offended by Samsung White? They would be ranting and raving if we had a team TSM Oriental or something. Jeez
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games

League of Legends

Simping for Pokimane is a lifestyle

twitchquotes: Simping for Pokimane isn't just a moment, itโ€™s a lifestyle ๐Ÿ’ซ a reason to breathe ๐Ÿคฒ an escape from this evil world filled with thieves ๐ŸŒ Itโ€™s art ๐Ÿ–ผ the first gift you open on Xmas ๐ŸŽ a hug from a loved one ๐Ÿค— everything youโ€™ve ever wanted love ๐Ÿ’— everything you need ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿฅบ
twitch chat
August 2020
Pokimane

Simps

TES, also known as Throw E-Sports

TES, also known as Throw E-Sports is a professional league of legends team known for throwing consistently at the highest level. Well known for losing despite having massive gold leads, they have inspired various teams around the world like G2 to do the same
May 2022

League of Legends

๐Ÿ“ž HELLO CHIPS? ๐Ÿ“ž THE SPAWN HERE

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head HELLO CHIPS? ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head THE SPAWN HERE ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head YOU HAVEN'T DIED IN 10 SECONDS....YOU'RE OVERDUE
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

LULW pointing at WeirdChamp

twitchquotes: LULW LULW ๐Ÿ‘‡ โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € LULW ๐Ÿ‘‰ WeirdChamp ๐Ÿ‘ˆ LULW โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € ๐Ÿ‘† LULW LULW
twitch chat
September 2019
I used to be a real ad

Nice hack QVC!

twitchquotes: Nice hack QVC! We all know you are hacking there is no way you would be able to guess all this! Thanks for everything im unfollowing. I hope you mommy never bakes you cookies again. 5up 4 life! HAHA ZOOMERS MALDING!
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

Among Us / Amogus

COCKtober emojipasta v4

October 2021

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Halloween

NSFW

Holiday

who is pokimane?

twitchquotes: who is pokimane? ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿ˜ฐ in math: my solution โž—๐Ÿ˜Š in history: my queen ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ˜ฃ in art: my canvas ๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿฅณ in science: my oxygen ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜ in geography: my world ๐ŸŒŽ๐Ÿคฏ
twitch chat
February 2020
Pokimane

PowerUpL DarkMode PowerUpR

twitchquotes: PowerUpL DarkMode PowerUpR
twitch chat
September 2017
I used to be a real ad

Moishe from Hebrew School

twitchquotes: So you're going by Reckful now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Moishe from Hebrew School. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in Torah class. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Ziva the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now according to the customs of HaShem. I make over 200k a year and am an accomplished Rabbi. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
July 2019
Reckful

Tanner from High School

Text-to-Speech Playing