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YAYO was first found in America in the year 1070

twitchquotes: Did You Know? YAYO was first found in America in the year 1070. The native Dongers sang it to please their God. One day they didn't sing YAYO, a NACHO TORPEDO destroyed their whole culture. Ripperino Dongerino, all you knew was YAYO..
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Upside-dong

twitchquotes: ( ͜o ͡ʖ ͜o) im upside-dong ( ͜o ͡ʖ ͜o)
twitch chat
August 2014
MushIsGosu

Deathrattle is "Lose the game"

twitchquotes: Guys what if Acidic swamp ooze was a 30/30, but its deathrattle was "Lose the game"? Would this be balanced? Should I contact bilbarzard??
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Ebolus enchantus

twitchquotes: (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆゚. * ・ 。゚ Ebolus enchantus(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆゚. * ・ 。゚ Ebolus enchantus(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆゚. * ・ 。゚ Ebolus enchantus
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Having trouble climbing the ladder this season

twitchquotes: Hey Andrew, it's your mother. I have noticed that you are having trouble climbing the ladder this season and wanted to let you know that there is this website called Tempostorm.com that will help you get to legend. The nice man in the video said that you could stay ahead of the meta and becsome legendary.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

PETA must be alerted

twitchquotes: Last night at Greece's most prominent Red Light District, Kripp was seen pimping out Catarrian for very cheap. PETA must be alerted of this horrid cat prostitution ring hidden under this "Twitch streaming"
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth ~•     ~•        ~•       ~•    ~•    ~•      ~•    ~•         ~• ~•     ~•      ~•    ~•    ~•     ~•      ~•    ~•         ~•      ~•      ~•     ~•        ~•
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I am going to donate this big bunch of salt to you!

twitchquotes: This is a very interesting stream Kripp, you always makes me feel better everyday when watching with your oh so sweet voice, i am therefore going to donate this big bunch of salt i saved for you! PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

When chat spam my kripp stream crashes

twitchquotes: Hey guys. I am living in poor family with low interneting and very cheap pc barely handle kripp stream at 5 fps and when chat spam my kripp stream crashes so please dont spam the chat thank you.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

BREAKING NEWS

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS: After brutal anal fisting performed by Romanian gypsy Kripparian, Sandown's anus had an emotional breakdown and cried for attention on the stream of Kripparian.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Spam is a brand of several canned precooked meat products

twitchquotes: Spam is a brand of several canned precooked meat products made by the Hormel Foods Corporation. It was first introduced in 1937 and gained popularity worldwide after its use during World War 2
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Super dong to the rescue

twitchquotes: ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢ to the rescue
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Life is good

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Stay positiveヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ノ Kripp is excellent (◕‿◕✿) Chat is excellent ヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ノ Kitty is soft (◕‿◕✿) ヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ノ Life is good (◕‿◕✿_)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Aspirations and dreams

twitchquotes: Press 1 if you once had aspirations and dreams but have now given up all hope and devolved into mindless shitposting.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Imqtpie losing his farmer's license for poor cs

twitchquotes: Hey, qtPie this is the NSA (National Service of Agriculture). If you do not start getting some cs soon, we will have to revoke your farmer license
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Kripp, this is an intervention

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is an intervention. We are very worried about you. Ever since you started playing Hearthstone, you have been becoming more and more casual. We care about you very much, but we can't just sit back and watch you torture yourself. Perhaps religion may help, have you heard of your lord and savior, RNGesus?
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

MIC VOLUME TOO LOW

twitchquotes: when sub mode off, i apply cancer directly to chat. i stare at the chat and say the MIC VOLUME IS TOO LOW all making reynad
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing