I used to be a real ad
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Having trouble climbing the ladder this season

twitchquotes: Hey Andrew, it's your mother. I have noticed that you are having trouble climbing the ladder this season and wanted to let you know that there is this website called Tempostorm.com that will help you get to legend. The nice man in the video said that you could stay ahead of the meta and becsome legendary.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

I'm going all in boys!

twitchquotes: ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ IM GOING ALL IN B O Y S! ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ Yᵒᵘ Oᶰˡʸ Lᶤᵛᵉ Oᶰᶜᵉ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth ~•　　　　 ~•　　　　　　　　~•　　　　　　　~•　　　　~• 　　　~•　　　　　　~•　　　　~•　　　　　　　 　~• ~• 　 　　~•　　　　　　~•　　　　~•　　　 ~• 　　　　~•　　　　　　~•　　　　~• 　　　　　　　　~• 　　　　　~•　　　　　　~•　 　　　~•　　　　　　　　~•
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Which Rogue card should I pick?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, I'm drafting a Rogue Arena and I'm 29 cards in. Should I pick Backstab (like you backstabbed Paparrian ) Betrayal (like you betrayed Paparrian ) or Vanish (like you vanished from Paparrian)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hey raynad im a 11 year old boy named Dan

twitchquotes: Hey raynad im a 11 year old boy named Dan and i watched your stream. My mom walked in on my watching you and she saw you drinking the beers. She beat me with a shoe and made me sleep outside in the dog house becsuse of you
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Nairo Quesadilla stop bullying kids

twitchquotes: Alright, Nario Quesadilla. You had your fun bullying kids on quickplay and making them salty. Hope you feel proud, you’re not making ult online any better, personally I’m going back at watching VoiD.
twitch chat
April 2021

Kripp. It's Morpheus from future talking to you

twitchquotes: Hello ĸrιpp, ιт’ѕ мorpнeυѕ ғroм ғυтυre тalĸιng тo yoυ. ι нave 2 cнoιceѕ ғor yoυ, вlυe pιll or red pιll. вlυe pιll вrιngѕ yoυ lιғe, woмen, cнιleттe, dog, caт, cнιld, caѕυalιтy and no vιewerѕ. red pιll вrιngѕ yoυ nolιғe, oj, no dιѕтracтιonѕ ғroм oυтѕιde world, pro ѕтaтυѕ and vιewerѕ. cнooѕe wιѕely мιѕтer ĸrιpperѕon.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Flame imp is a bad card

twitchquotes: Wow. Wanna know how I know that this guy doesn't know what he is doing? He plays Flame Imp, a card that does 3 damage to the guy that plays it. Clearly he doesn't understand that if you run out of health you lose.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Today is the day I copypasta

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

American Freedom speaking to Kripp

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ғʀᴇᴇᴅᴏᴍ. ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ғɪʟᴛᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ʀᴜɪɴɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ sᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ғɪx ɪᴛ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ɪᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴏᴠᴇʀ. sɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇʟʏ *** ****. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ ***ɪɴᴏ ****ʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

BREAKING NEWS

twitchquotes: ＢＲＥＡＫＩＮＧ ＮＥＷＳ： Ａｆｔｅｒ ｂｒｕｔａｌ ａｎａｌ ｆｉｓｔｉｎｇ ｐｅｒｆｏｒｍｅｄ ｂｙ Ｒｏｍａｎｉａｎ ｇｙｐｓｙ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ， Ｓａｎｄｏｗｎ＇ｓ ａｎｕｓ ｈａｄ ａｎ ｅｍｏｔｉｏｎａｌ ｂｒｅａｋｄｏｗｎ ａｎｄ ｃｒｉｅｄ ｆｏｒ ａｔｔｅｎｔｉｏｎ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｓｔｒｅａｍ ｏｆ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ．
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Yamas! This is Mr OpieOP's Greek Restaurant

twitchquotes: Yᴀᴍᴀs! ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴍʀ. OpieOP 's ɢʀᴇᴇᴋ ʀᴇsᴛᴀᴜʀᴀɴᴛ. Fᴏʀ ᴀ ʟɪᴍɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏɴʟy, yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ʟᴀʀɢᴇ ᴛᴢᴀᴛᴢɪᴋɪ ᴩɪᴢᴢᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴜᴍ sᴇʀᴠɪɴɢ ᴏF ᴏᴜᴢᴏ Fᴏʀ ᴏɴʟy 4.20 $! ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴇʟɪɢɪʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪs ᴏFFᴇʀ, ᴛyᴩᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ "Opie OP" (ɴᴏ sᴩᴀᴄᴇ) ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ. sᴇᴇ yᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ᴍy ʀᴇsᴛᴀᴜʀᴀɴᴛ!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

If PLTR hits 35 today

If PLTR hits 35 today I will wipe with quarter ply toilet paper and accidentally discover myself
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad

If I only get one message ,I'll make it sweet and sharp

twitchquotes: I only get one message in slow mode huh? well, if i only get one message, i'll make it sweet and sharp. These authoritarian mods will not be tolerated. Hearthstone was based on the premise of the free market, and it has been corrupted by N A Z I mods in chat who are power hungry. Don't ruin the Hearthstone and twitch chat experience. Thanks
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

United Chat of Kripperica

twitchquotes: Wᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴀᴍᴍᴇʀs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ɪɴ Oʀᴅᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴘᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛ Dᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜ sᴘᴀᴍ, ɪɴsᴜʀᴇ ɴᴏ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ʟᴇᴛʜᴀʟ, ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ OJ, ᴘʀᴏᴍᴏᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴇᴄᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟᴇssɪɴɢs ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ sᴀᴠɪᴏʀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ʏᴏᴜɴɢᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs, ᴅᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴀɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜ ᴛʜɪs Kʀɪᴘᴘsᴛɪᴛᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ Uɴɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴏғ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪᴄᴀ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Aspirations and dreams

twitchquotes: Press 1 if you once had aspirations and dreams but have now given up all hope and devolved into mindless shitposting.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep. In my dream I was playing prismata and fell asleep. The same thing happened in my dream's dream. It was the worst nightmare ever and I woke up in a cold sweat. Please don't play prismata anymore I don't want to go through that again. Pls no copy pastrami.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

I meet Nigerian Princess on Internet

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp. You say you welly unlucky last few days. I've been unlucky last few years. But ever since i start watch your stream last week my luck improve. I meet nigerian princess on internet who promise me 100 billion usd and a full golden Ragnaros
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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