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Reynad is like a pigeon

twitchquotes: Reynad is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between reynad and a pigeon is that reynad intends to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Dadnad and Momnad

twitchquotes: hello son, Dadnad here. Please don't waste your life away in front of that computer playing some card game. Text that girl, Lea, and play that guitar for her. Did I ever tell you that's how I woo'd Momnad? Kids these days, don't let me down, son.
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad
I used to be a real ad

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Aspirations and dreams

twitchquotes: Press 1 if you once had aspirations and dreams but have now given up all hope and devolved into mindless shitposting.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

If I only get one message ,I'll make it sweet and sharp

twitchquotes: I only get one message in slow mode huh? well, if i only get one message, i'll make it sweet and sharp. These authoritarian mods will not be tolerated. Hearthstone was based on the premise of the free market, and it has been corrupted by N A Z I mods in chat who are power hungry. Don't ruin the Hearthstone and twitch chat experience. Thanks
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

If PLTR hits 35 today

If PLTR hits 35 today I will wipe with quarter ply toilet paper and accidentally discover myself
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Which Rogue card should I pick?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, I'm drafting a Rogue Arena and I'm 29 cards in. Should I pick Backstab (like you backstabbed Paparrian ) Betrayal (like you betrayed Paparrian ) or Vanish (like you vanished from Paparrian)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Meeting Kripp at the urinals

twitchquotes: hey "kripp" we met at the urinals at the taco bell in LA..i asked you if i could shake your donger and you never responded...please confirm and we can meet again thanks
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

I am going to donate this big bunch of salt to you!

twitchquotes: This is a very interesting stream Kripp, you always makes me feel better everyday when watching with your oh so sweet voice, i am therefore going to donate this big bunch of salt i saved for you! PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt PJSalt
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Harvest Jack Raid Shadow Legends ad

SPOOKY, you don’t wanna run into this pumpkin, harvest jack is one scary champion if you wanna see him shine put him in the arena, his fear ability turns good to bad and bad to worse. With his sythe and glowing eyes, harvest jack is scary, you want him on your side in RAID SHADOW LEGENDS, download now and play for free
May 2022

PETA must be alerted

twitchquotes: Last night at Greece's most prominent Red Light District, Kripp was seen pimping out Catarrian for very cheap. PETA must be alerted of this horrid cat prostitution ring hidden under this "Twitch streaming"
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Can you guys stop typing 'misplay'?

twitchquotes: Can you guys stop typing 'misplay'? We know Kripp is not the best player and he might be a bit slow in the head, but stop pointing out the obvious by typing 'misplay' over and over.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Life is good

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Stay positiveヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Kripp is excellent (◕‿◕✿) Chat is excellent ヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Kitty is soft (◕‿◕✿) ヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Life is good (◕‿◕✿_)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Teta

twitchquotes: (ง'̀-'́)ง ᴠᴀɪ ᴅɪɢɪᴛᴀʀ ᴄᴏᴍ ᴀ ᴛᴇᴛᴀ (ง'̀-'́)ง
twitch chat
August 2014
EtrnlWait
I used to be a real ad

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Kripp, this is an intervention

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is an intervention. We are very worried about you. Ever since you started playing Hearthstone, you have been becoming more and more casual. We care about you very much, but we can't just sit back and watch you torture yourself. Perhaps religion may help, have you heard of your lord and savior, RNGesus?
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kripp whines some more...

twitchquotes: ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴏᴏʀ, Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡʜɪsᴘᴇʀᴇᴅ, "Hᴇ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇᴀᴛ... ᴍᴇ...
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep. In my dream I was playing prismata and fell asleep. The same thing happened in my dream's dream. It was the worst nightmare ever and I woke up in a cold sweat. Please don't play prismata anymore I don't want to go through that again. Pls no copy pastrami.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

I meet Nigerian Princess on Internet

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp. You say you welly unlucky last few days. I've been unlucky last few years. But ever since i start watch your stream last week my luck improve. I meet nigerian princess on internet who promise me 100 billion usd and a full golden Ragnaros
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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