I used to be a real ad
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Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripp, on behalf of the entire Greek country, I would like to thank you for single handedly restoring our economy with your endless supplies of salt. Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export. Most excellent, all hail Kripperino!
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Artosis is glad Kripp is joining the way of the sellout

twitchquotes: WELL MET KRIPP, IT'S ME ARTOSIS. I'M GLAD YOU'RE JOINING THE WAY OF THE SELLOUT.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum

twitchquotes: Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum i bet you can't even afford a real fedora like mine or treat a fine gal to a meal you smelly hobo *walks away turns around tips fedora and continues walking*
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hi Kripp, Google again here

twitchquotes: Kripp, Google again here. We've noticed that you've been away from Twitch for at least 2 minutes in the past. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still the merchandise? We're serious about raising the price if it's a problem to you. We just want you to have fun, and to of course buy more Twitch merchandise. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you (mostly us) much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Viewbots

HI FORSEN, IT'S YOUR FRIEND TRUMP HERE

twitchquotes: HI FORSEN, ITS YOUR FRIEND TRUMP HERE. I NOTICE THAT YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO GET LEGENDARY ON HEARTHSTONE. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT FOR A LITTLE FEE OF $4.99 PER MONTH, YOU COULD LEARN TO BE GOOD AT HEARTHSTONE LIKE ME.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Kripp, this is the value-police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Kripp, this is the value-police. We are under the impression that you have 1 too many Priestesses of Elune in your deck, please fix this or come with us.(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I can’t escape Fortnite

twitchquotes: I can’t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, “Do you play Fortnite?”. At first I couldn’t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. “Dude, do you play Fortnite?” Then I heard someone respond behind me. “Fortnite?” Then another. “Yeah, that game.” I couldn’t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with “where we droppin' boys?”. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say “Tilted Towers!”
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

I challenge you to “Turtle King”

Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks. I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead. We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings. The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴. Dual me, I’m 4-0.
October 2021

WallStreetBets

Story of Felipe

twitchquotes: Let me tell you about Felipe. Felipe is good boy from Guadalajara. He wake at 6:00 to make food for white man. He eat his chipotle like a good boy, and clean the taco like a good boy. When he finish burrito he play stonehearth, but Felipe is sad. Felipe say he no win because of Kripp, and Felipe want retribution. Beware your taco kripp, it may have jalapeno poison...
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast

twitchquotes: Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast. Oliver and I have some smashing news for you! Your casual playstyle, and ability to endure childrens videogames makes you a proper candidate for the splendid world of Minecraft commentary! Tally ho!
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Graham Stephen is stingy

Graham Stephen the kind of guy that suck his own pp and cum in his own mouth to save tissue
December 2020

WallStreetBets

RETARD WAVE

twitchquotes: ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ:・゚ RETARD WAVE!!:„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤KEEP THE RETARDNESS GOING ¸„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤øº LETS GO RETARDS !¤¤º°¨¨°º¤øº¤ø„¸¸ø¤º°¨„ ø¤º°¨¨°º
twitch chat
November 2014

Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room

twitchquotes: Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room. "The canvas needed to topdeck exactly that color to win!" he yells. Dex brings Kripp his paintbrush and Kripp tries again. He tries to paint a happy tree but paints a sad cactus. "The canvas is obviously sniping. How else could it know I was painting a happy tree?" Dex barks. "Quiet, Dex!" screams Kripp as he paints the bottom right of the canvas and concedes.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Sneaky goes 8th in TFT 8 times in a row

twitchquotes: After going 8th 8 times in a row, "Patient 8" hits his head on the wall 8 times in quick succession. The patient only communicates to his "chat"; a bunch of random sentences strung together to find out what will make the patient communicate. The word "Meteos" seems to trigger some sort of erotic response in the patient.
twitch chat
May 2021
Sneaky

Teamfight Tactics

Kripp show us THE decks

twitchquotes: Enough with the bullshit Kripp. We all know you've hid away the best decks for this expansion to be showing off to the ladies, and we in chat find that really weird. All we want is to watch you win, and yet you play some bullshit hunter for some bullshit reason and all you do is lose. Show us the decks Kripp. Show us THE decks.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

can you say something fun so that i can LOL

twitchquotes: hey @imaqtpie ! can you say something fun so that i can LOL (laugh out loud)! Thanks in advance :D
twitch chat
June 2019
imaqtpie

mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun

twitchquotes: Hi guys, please be careful - if you keep writing the same message, mods will time you out from the chat faster than TSM's 0-6 any% airport speedrun last year at World's. This is your last warning. I am a Twitch moderator.
twitch chat
June 2021

Copypasta being funny is just incomprehensible

twitchquotes: I always thought comedy was something I could never lose my grasp on, but "Copypasta" being funny to anybody is just incomprehensible.
twitch chat
April 2019

Kripp discovered one weird trick to look twice his age

twitchquotes: Kripp is the remarkable twenty year old that discovered one weird trick to look twice his age. It's called being VEGAN and it limits your body’s nutritional intake and makes you look and feel TWICE AS OLD. Why would anyone want to be vegan you may ask, well all vegans hate animals so they eat all the animals food so that they starve to death.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

How to have sex and still be a virgin

You see if you have sex with another virgin you're therefore taking their virginity and they are taking your virginity so it's a win-win and you can still use Reddit
March 2021
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