I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg.
So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
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Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitchquotes:
"Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
Kripp
My dong strong and hard as diamond
twitchquotes:
No one believed in my dong, but when I raised it, QTpie saw it and found a shred of potential in it. Then he believed. And all the others did as well. QTpie believes, and now so do I. I shall climb these mountains of Gold, destroy those Platinum plebs, and then, and only then, my dong will be strong and hard. As a diamond.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
im such a nice guy, i deserve a girlfriend
twitchquotes:
im such a nice guy, i deserve a girlfriend, yesterday i always commented how nice poki looked instead of making weird sexual comments like the weridos there
twitch chat
Simps
Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Easter emoji pasta
HEY ALL U EASTER BUNNY๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ HOES!!! Today is ๐๐Easter!! You know what that means๐ค๐ค๐ค??? Itโs time to HOP over to DADDYS house so he can FUCK๐ซ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ u like a rabbit!! Gotta get those Easter day cummies!! After u and daddy FUCK ๐ซ๐ฆ then itโs time for โช๏ธchurchโช๏ธ!!! Get ready for that HOLY DICK๐๐๐๐ because jesus is CUMMING๐ฉ๐๐๐ฆ back from the dead today to FUCK THAT EASTER BUNNY PUSSY๐๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐. Then itโs time for the egg hunt ๐ต๐ต๐ต!!! U better find an egg!! Search in every HOLE๐๐ฉ CRACK ๐ซ๐ and CREVICE ๐ค๐๐ for the GRAND PRIZE ๐ค๐ getting that ๐ต๐ธ๐บPASTEL PUSSY๐๐ฃ๐ฎ RODE ๐๐๐ into the Easter sunset! Send this to all ur other EASTER BUNNY๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ HOES๐๐ซ๐๐ฆ. If u get 5๏ธโฃ back ur a ROTTEN COLORED EGG!!! If u get ๐ back ur a LOADED ๐๐
๐๐ป๐๐๐ฆ๐ฆ EASTER BASKET. If you get 2๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ back? UR GETTIN FUCKED ๐ฑ๐๐๐ฆ๐ฆIN UR RABBIT ๐ฐ๐๐ฐHOLE TONIGHT!!!!