[Copypasta] To a horse, the world is basically Candyland

Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
April 2022
Tweet by Emmett Shear, Twitch CEO: https://twitter.com/eshear/status/1509250979346063365
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Yao Ming Face / Bitch Please

░░░░░░░░███████████████░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░█████████████████████░░░░░ ░░░░████████████████████████░░░ ░░░██████████████████████████░░ ░░█████████████████████████████ ░░███████████▀░░░░░░░░░████████ ░░███████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░███ ░████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██ ░█░░███████░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄░░░░░██ █░░░░█████░░░░░░▄███████░░██░░█ █░░█░░░███░░░░░██▀▀░░░░░░░░██░█ █░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░▄██▄░░░░░░░███ █░░▄█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀▀█▄░██ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░██░ ░███░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░█░░ ░░█░█░░░░░░░█░░░░░██▀▄░▄██░░░█░ ░░█░█░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░ ░░░██░░░░░░█░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░█░░ ░░░██░░░░░░░█░░█▄▄▄▄░▀▀██░░█░░░ ░░░██░░░░░░░█░░▀████████░░█░░░░ ░░█░░█░░░░░░░█░░▀▄▄▄▄██░░█░░░░░ ░░█░░░█░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░ ░█░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░████████░░░░░░░
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July 2015

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

I am not a simp.

twitchquotes: And I want to say this to the kings in the audience. I’ve made my mistakes in my chase for coochie. But in all of my years of chad life, I have never simped– never simped for a girl. I’ve earned every bit of cooch. And in all of my years of chad life, I have never paid for the meal. Because people have got to know whether or not I’m a simp. Well, I’m not a simp. I’ve never simped for any girl I’ve got. I am not a simp.
twitch chat
July 2020

Simps

Magnus Carlsen has the most braindead viewership

twitchquotes: It’s funny how arguably the smartest person on this platform also has the most braindead viewership. What the hell even is a copypasta? Grow up.
twitch chat
April 2021
maskenissen
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