[Copypasta] To a horse, the world is basically Candyland

Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
April 2022
Tweet by Emmett Shear, Twitch CEO: https://twitter.com/eshear/status/1509250979346063365
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My e-girl e-cheated on me

twitchquotes: My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
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March 2019

Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
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November 2018

OwO trend is the worst thing

twitchquotes: I've been posting copypastas since before 2016, and I can say without a doubt that this "OwO" trend is by far the worst thing to ever happen to copypasta. I can recite the Navy Seals speech by heart, and yet you think you know better than me. Phrases like "penis-kun" have bastardized the medium and have no place in what used to be a noble hobby. If I see one more OwO I'm going to have no choice but to report you.
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February 2019

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Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Dance party

โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ•”โ•กโ–โ–โ•žโ•โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ•”โ•กโ–โ–โ•žโ•โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•กโ–Œโ–Œโ•žโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ DANCE PARTY โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ•”โ•กXXโ•žโ•โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ•”โ•กXXโ•žโ•โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•กXXโ•žโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014
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