[Copypasta] To a horse, the world is basically Candyland

Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
April 2022
Tweet by Emmett Shear, Twitch CEO: https://twitter.com/eshear/status/1509250979346063365
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Attention all Smash Bros Gamers, Kirby is in great danger

twitchquotes: Attention all Smash Bros Gamers, Kirby is in great danger, and he needs YOUR help to save all the innocent characters murdered and possessed by Galeem. To do this, he needs a Warp Star and a couple of Maximum Tomatoes. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three numbers on the back, and the expiration month and date. But you gotta be quick so that Kirby can secure the Spirits, and save billions of video game characters you know and love!
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

TriHard

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–„โ–‘ โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–Œ โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–“โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Ripperoni Pepperoni dude

twitchquotes: โœ“I'm just gonna shove this shit out โœ“ *I'm pretty strong right now* โœ“ *FUCK man* โœ“ *NO SMALL CAT THOSE ARE MY RIBS* โœ“ *I love it dude* โœ“ *Epic nice dude* โœ“ *Just gonna go shop* โœ“ Did that really fucking hit me? โœ“ Ripperoni Pepperoni dude โœ“.
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

I will cut off your dick if you cheat on me

(โœฟ โ—•โ€ฟโ—•) แ“„โœ‚โ•ฐUโ•ฏ
ascii art
April 2021

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

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