[Copypasta] To a horse, the world is basically Candyland

Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024

Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022

TSM logo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⠟⠋⠄⣠⡄⠄⣿⣿⠄⢠⣄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⠋⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⠟⠄⣠⣾⣿⠟⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡟⢿⣿⣷⣄⠙⢻⣿⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⠋⠄⣾⣿⠟⠁⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⢻⣿⣧⠄ ⣾⣿⡟⠄⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠹⣿⣇⠈⢿⣿⣇ ⣿⣿⠁⢀⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣄⠄⢿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⠟⢀⣿⣿⠋ ⠈⣿⣿⣄⠈⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⡟⠄⣼⣿⡟⠄ ⠄⠈⣿⣿⣄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⣴⣿⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣧⡀⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⠸⠋⠄⣠⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠈⠙⠃⠄⣿⣿⠄⠈⠁⠄⣴⣾⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2020

Zhong Xina

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⢠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣦⣀⣾⣿⣟⣉⠉⠙⢛⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣗⣻⣿⣯⣥⣦⠄⣀⣾⡇⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣾⣷⠶⠆⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠚⣿⣿⡻⠿⠿⠛⠙⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠂⠄⠄⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠛⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣧⣠⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠿⢿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⣿⡿⠃⢀⡠⠄⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021
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