[Copypasta] To a horse, the world is basically Candyland

Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
April 2022
Tweet by Emmett Shear, Twitch CEO: https://twitter.com/eshear/status/1509250979346063365
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we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

The Ghost of Gaming Future

twitchquotes: The Ghost of Gaming Future shows Kripp a nice house in the Toronto suburbs. Inside, Kripp, Rania and their sons are happily gaming as a family. "This isn't so bad," says Kripp. "Look closer," speaks the Ghost. Kripp looks in horror to see his sons are using tablets and playing browser cash-shop games. "This is your future Casualarrian."
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Only the chosen one can stack 7 Doritos chips

Only the chosen o DoritosChip ne can stack the doritoes one by one can you st DoritosChip ack the doritoes like a man or cry like a little baby DoritosChip scrub. Three doritoes is for pussies, chosen one DoritosChip PogChamp wants to stack higher. Is four to little for yo DoritosChip u how about five. NO Way PogChamp wants six No no DoritosChip no PogChamp wants SEVEN of it. The real and only chos DoritosChip en one is always me.
twitch chat
February 2017

Lost to EU at Worlds

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at Worlds FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at MSI FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at Rift Rivals FeelsBadMan EU lul... I guess... FeelsBadMan at least I can laugh at H2K FeelsGoodMan Nvm still more semis than us FeelsBadMan ๐Ÿ”ซ
twitch chat
August 2018

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Donger

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014
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