[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks

twitchquotes: Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks. Ever since mesa was a boy, mesa being dreamin' to be a humble servant. Boss Nass tellin' me mesa can't bein' sex slave ina Otoh Gunga, but that smells stinkowiff. Mesa meetin' a biga man at duh Naboo, he spekin' he have uh mooey mooey poopa in hesa pants. From deesa day on, mesa will be maxi sex slave on da Naboo. If yousa a bombad and you be thinkin datsa eegad, esqueeze me but yousa how wude. Mesa bein' big thankful to yousa for duh understand.
twitch chat
July 2016

Y U NO 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⠴⠶⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠤⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠚⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠉⢙⠲⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⡆⠈⡀⠀⠉⠓⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠃⠀⠘⠀⡠⠀⢀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⢍⠢⠑⣦⣀⠀⠡⡄⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⢾⡗⡀⠁⠀⢘⣀⠀⢀⠀⡐⡞⢉⣀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠐⠆⠀⠁⠄⠃⠉⠄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⢀⣤⡌⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠉⠁⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠉⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠐⡦⠄⠀⠀⠀⠠⢂⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠉⠃⠀⠀⢌⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠈⠑⡄⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣤⣴⠆⠀⠘⠓⠶⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠝⠁⠠⠄⢤⣄⡈⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⣈⣄⡐⠠⢄⢂⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠚⠉⠋⢋⡋⢷⠤⡎⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠄⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠛⠁⠈⠛⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠂⢀⡀⠈⠀⠁⠁⠒⠂⠀⠊⢃⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠋⠀⠐⢦⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢦⣄⣀⡠⠈⠀⠀⠈⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡼⠞⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠒⠒⠒⣲⠖⠒⠒⠒⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠙⠦⡀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠄⣜⡰⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⠀⠀⠀⢈⡢⣤⢤⣇⡤⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⣠⠤⠄⡴⠓⠒⠒⠂⠉⠁⠀⠈⠣⡈⠁⣈⠄⠊⠁
January 2021

Weather forecast for today, lots of salt

twitchquotes: ヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ノ☂ ʷᵉᵃᵗʰᵉʳ ᶠᵒʳᵉᶜᵃˢᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗᵒᵈᵃʸ - ˡᵒᵗˢ ᵒᶠ ˢᵃˡᵗ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ☂ ヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、`ヽ`、ヽヽ`
twitch chat
January 2019

salty

Padoru 2

PADORU PADORU ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠚⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠈⠀⢸⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⢀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⠑⣌⡉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⡆⠀ ⠀⢀⠇⠀⢸⡭⡷⡶⢤⡤⣤⣀⣀⣀⢠⡤⢤⡶⣾⢡⠀⠀⢠⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⢳⣦⣷⣇⣱⠁⢧⠟⡜⣈⣆⣦⣧⣯⢾⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⡄⠰⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡀⠀⢸⠇ ⣿⣇⠀⠀⡃⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⠀⠇⢀⣿⣦ ⢉⣿⣤⡄⣱⣄⡀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣠⡌⠀⣼⣿⠋ ⠈⠁⠠⢤⢗⡨⠽⠉⠐⣾⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣌⣿⣿⣤⡼⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠅⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2018

Coming out as morbsexual

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.
June 2022

Morbius

Text-to-Speech Playing