[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

When a stream sniper looks at a stream, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun

twitchquotes: When a Stream Sniper looks at a stream, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when Kripp orders a 420YoloQuickSc0peR MLG 5000 Stream Sniper Rifle with a 10/10 BM magazine, orange juice holder, Cattarian reticle, with custom well met rounds, and an optional built in asshurt detection system, he's a casual.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

This is the world we have wrought

twitchquotes: The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: ███ 10 stroke dick ff ☑ EKT ☾ ☆ ¸. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ HA ʙᴏʟᴀ ヽ༼ಢ_ ♌ ❛ั∗)◞ TUCK F (◡‿◡✿)". This is the world we have wrought.
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Ubuntu logo

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣆⠸⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣷⡈⠻⠿⠟⠻⠿⢿⣷⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹ ⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⡘⢿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣉⣉⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⢡⣾⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸ ⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⡿⢁⣴⣶⣦⣴⣶⣾⡿⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⠿⢿⡿⠿⠏⢰⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2022

Disappointed with Giant Enemy Crabgot

twitchquotes: I was INSANELY disappointed once I loaded into summoner's rift on my favourite champion, Urgot, to find that Giant Enemy Crabgot did NOT have a female resting on his left shoulder ingame. This is a HUGE deal as it was one of the main factors of which I purchased the skin. I sincerely ask that you recoup my losses or change the skin to have a female resting on his manly shoulder
twitch chat
January 2017

League of Legends

I am Admiral Akbar, commander of the Somalian Piraterinos

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing