[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.

Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
April 2022

Holiday

Easter

In Twitch Chat they don't say I love you

twitchquotes: In Twitch Chat they don't say "I love you", instead they say "OMEGALUL" which translates to "I watch you to not laugh with you, but at you" and I think that's really beautiful.
twitch chat
February 2019

I just fired out why they call them Brokers

I just figured out why they call them β€˜Brokers’
March 2021

WallStreetBets

OH MY GOD IS THAT A RAINBOW LOGO?

‼️‼️OH MY GOD‼️‼️ IS THAT A πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆRπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆAπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆIπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆNπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆBπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆOπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆWπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ LOGO?!?!?!?!? 😍😍😍😍 OMG 🀯🀯UR SO INCLUSIVE😱😱😱😱 πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆLGBT πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈTRANS πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈRIGHTS YAAAAS!!!!!!!!!πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ UR SO PROGRESSIVE πŸ’πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸ½β€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’πŸΏβ€β™‚οΈ I WILL NOW BUY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯Ί I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOW 😫😩😩😍😍πŸ₯°πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing