[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said sheโ€™s going to go find a boyfriend. I donโ€™t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFTโ€™s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

NaM emote

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
October 2018

Eredar Lord of the Casual Legion

twitchquotes: ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต ๏ผฆ๏ผก๏ผฃ๏ผฅ ๏ผซ๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผฐ๏ผฐ๏ผก๏ผฒ๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผš ๏ผฅ๏ผฒ๏ผฅ๏ผค๏ผก๏ผฒ ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผฒ๏ผค ๏ผฏ๏ผฆ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผฃ๏ผก๏ผณ๏ผต๏ผก๏ผฌ ๏ผฌ๏ผฅ๏ผง๏ผฉ๏ผฏ๏ผฎ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Sodapoppin Tanner from Highschool

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Sodapoppin" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic
twitch chat
November 2018
sodapoppin

Tanner from High School

At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds

twitchquotes: Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 4Head
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

League of Legends

EU vs NA

i swear, if I hear one more time that you cant counter Viper postplant.

i swear, if I hear one more time that you cant counter Viper postplant. 1) push her (duh) 2) smoke her lineup position so she cant setup the lineup 3) molly her lineup position, as above 4) bodyblock the Snakebite (this one is hilarious) 5) Sage wall to bounce, as above
June 2021

Valorant

Text-to-Speech Playing