[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Me and you know the real struggle

twitchquotes: Reynaldo, I have consistently around ten viewers, and its so annoying whenever I stream because I constantly get sniped, these plebs wouldn't understand, me and you know the real struggle. I have an 100% win rate when im not streaming and only a 5% when I am, just like you.
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forsenX WutFace

⣿⡉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠓⠄⢁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⠙⣿ ⣷⣿⣷⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠱⠮⠽⡍⣙⡿⣟⠋⠥⠄⠄⠸ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⣀⠈⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣾⣿⡿⢿⠧⢸⣶⣄⠠⠄⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡖⣧⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠶⠄⢿⡿⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⡟⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡄⠙⣿⣏⣀⣠⡀⠄⣸⠇⠄⢠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⡀⠛⠿⠿⠿⠃⠄⠏⠄⣤⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣠⣀⠄⡀⡂⣠⠄⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿
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Forsen

Emote

Kripp reviews a card

twitchquotes: ☐ I got the beast in my sights ☐ Hoot hoot ☐ That belongs in a museum ☐ Let me change your mind ☑ I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that you’ve played, so you’re playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesn’t really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good card.
twitch chat
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Kripp

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An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022

Who let the dongs out?!

twitchquotes: ヽ༼◕ل͜◕༽ノ Who let the dongs out?! Woof ╰( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)╯ Woof woof woof woof ╰( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)╯
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing