[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

When batman beats mentally ill clowns

twitchquotes: How come when batman dons a suit of armor and beats up mentally ill clowns its "Heroic" but when I do it I'm "Committing manslaughter" and I'm "Not allowed in McDonalds again"
twitch chat
November 2019

Anime is literally the best thing ever

Anime is literally the best thing ever. All of you baka Americans who can't wrap your minds around it because you think your Hollywood films and TV shows you are just stupid and wrong and need to stop speaking. Literally nobody likes your opinions except the other baka Americans that don't understand Anime culture and the fact that Anime is truly a masterpiece of art, emotion and plot development. The characters always develop so well and so does the plot and it is just like really good. Like literally just watch it and you will understand you stupid white people. Ok, I am white but like I like anime so I'm basically Japanese at this point. Anyways, back to the subject, have you ever heard of the best anime ever, Redo of Healer...
February 2022

Anime

Weebs

The focus of a champion

twitchquotes: Sometimes I think the stream froze, but nope. Its just Michael Santana staring into the monitor and mouth breathing while remaining perfectly still. The focus of a champion.
twitch chat
July 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

My name is Shigekiyo Yangu

twitchquotes: My name is Shigekiyo Yangu. I'm a second-year at Budogaoka Middle School. I weigh 110 kilograms, and my Papa and Mama call me "Shigechi". "Shige-chan" turned into "Shigechi". My turtle I have at home is named Gonta. The other day I was wondering if the 41 yen, 62 yen and 150 yen stamps all tasted different, so I was licking them, and Mama yelled at me. This is a picture of my Mama, who yelled at me.
twitch chat
December 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing