[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp and Hafu

twitchquotes: KRIPP THIS IS HAFU. YOU ARE IN TROUBLE MISTER. You are not gay! You talk to me on the phone every night, and who can forget our nights of endless nipple play? Stop the charade and come back to your Hafu baby. Plz no copy pasterino ching chong changerino noodlerino bok choy kung paorino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

​​I've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor

twitchquotes: ​​I've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes. His spray control is otherworldly, his crosshair erratically jolting across the screen as his wrist muscles perfectly predict the next bullet's location. Time literally stops as he peeks, sunlight curving as his trigger finger impacts his left mouse button, sending enemies to a digital shadow realm before they even know what happened. He is un-killable. He is undefeatable. This "man" is the epitome of eternal.
twitch chat
June 2021
TenZ

Valorant

VI VON ZULUL

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠄⠐⠠⢀⠄⠄⠄⢀⡘⢦⡀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣤⣦⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⡄⠄⠑⠄⠄⠐⠑⠄⣽⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠈⡀⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⢗⡀⠄⣠⡀⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⠄⠄⠄⣠⡀⡄⠄⠄⢎⣿⡶⢶⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠁⠁⠈⠉⠉⢚⣍⣩⡀⠄⢀⠄⠺⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⢒⡛⡛⠛⠛⢿⡁⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⣠⡄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠉⢉⡉⡉⠁⠄⠁⢠⡎⠄⣀⢰⣿⠁⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⡇⢢⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠁⢠⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⣿⣿ ⣏⢀⠄⠄⢈⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠛⠛⢛⣟⡛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⢈⠉⠁⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣟⣿
November 2018
Forsen

lethal

twitchquotes: Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. “Pepperoni” Kripp whispered into Amaz’s elvish ear, as they started making out. “Do…do I win?” Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. “Your deck is crazy” Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. “It’s lethal guys” Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Creepy NaM smile

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣉⡉⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣉⢭⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣠⣶⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⡳⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢣⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⠄⠙⠻⣞⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢡⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠙⣞⠼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢼⣿⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠻⡀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣸⡿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠄⢀⣾⣿⡇⠄⢠⠄⠄⣹⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⠄⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠻⣿⠄⣠⣄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⡀⢸⣿⣦⡀⣤⣉⡛⠛⠛⡛⠛⠉⠠⠐⢰⣿⢠⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣿⣿⣷⣄⠛⠁⢹⢗⡿⢉⠁⠄⣠⣿⣣⣿⣿⡟⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣼⣬⣧⣥⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing