[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

It’s Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)

It’s Morbin time! # FAQ ## What does this mean? It’s time for Morbin. ## Why did I do this? There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to: I am very Morby I see you being morbin-able You morbed me first ## Is Morbius THE movie of all time? Yes ## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct. Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
June 2022

N-word pass

⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢰⣄⠀⠻⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣿⣦⡀⠈⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⠁⢀⡈⠉⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⡟⠁⢀⣀⣀⠈⠹⡇⠀⣶⣤⡄⠈⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⠀⢻ ⣿⡇⠀⠟⢀⠈⢻⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⡇⠀⠉⠉⢀⣰⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠀⣸ ⣿⡇⠀⣠⣾⣷⡀⠀⢸⣦⡀⠈⠉⠉⢀⣰⡇⠀⣷⣤⡀⠙⣿⠀⢸⣿⠿⠁⢠⣿ ⣿⣷⠾⠛⠛⠻⠿⣷⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢷⣴⣿⣿⡿⠶⠛⠤⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢰⣶⣦⠀⢸⡿⠁⠀⢹⣿⡏⢀⣤⣀⣿⣿⡟⠀⣠⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠘⠋⠁⣠⣾⠃⢠⡇⠀⢻⣧⣀⠉⠙⠛⢿⣧⣀⣀⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢰⣾⣿⣿⠇⢀⣠⣤⡄⠈⣿⣿⢿⣷⡆⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠆⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣀⣼⣿⣿⣯⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣄⣸⣧⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿⡉⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019

Inappropriate humor

twitchquotes: All of this “dick humor” is highly Inappropriate, my dick is 2.462 feet long and still growing, all of you twitch “charters” can’t even compensate the size
twitch chat
April 2019

Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter?

Yeah I read that too. Are you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Is that your thing? You come into a thread, you copy some obscure passage and then paste it off as your own idea just to impress some of your "crew" and downvote my friend? See the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life One, you are a talentless and unoriginal hack. And two, you wasted time trying to post other people's thoughts as your own while you could've been honing your skills to be actually creative instead of a thoughtless loser with a paste fetish.
August 2021

NOT ANOTHER CHILDREN'S CARD GAME

twitchquotes: Kripp sighs sitting at the dinner table. “I have to play hearthstone again, FUCK!” Rania consoles him, “It’s okay sweetheart. I love you.” Kripp responds in tears “I have been having fun playing POE but I only got 6k viewers last night, how will we eat if I don’t play that goddamned Hearthstone for these morons!” Rania wraps her arms around Kripp’s neck, “It’s okay baby, it’ll be different, when Artifact comes out!” Kripp lets out a scream, “NOT ANOTHER FUCKING CHILDREN’S CARD GAME!”
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Artifact

Text-to-Speech Playing