[Copypasta] Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store

twitchquotes: I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
twitch chat
November 2019

My fifth sudoku this week

twitchquotes: Well I regret to inform you Kripp that your choice to return to Path of Poe has confirmed my suicide tonight. It had been a fun ride, but I simply cannot afford to live any longer. Please bless me that I may rip in paparolies, as this will be my fifth suicide this week.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

xqcY

⠀⢀⣤⢚⣉⣉⣹⡿⠿⠛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠳⠶⠶⠬⡙⠿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣰⠟⣡⠞⢛⣩⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣐⠳⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⠞⣰⣾⣿⣿⠟⢛⣩⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣭⣭⣭⣭⣝⣛⡻⠿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀ ⡏⣸⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠉⠻⣿⣦ ⠁⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠤⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢀⡤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣌⢿ ⡆⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡤⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⢰⡞⠀⠀⢠⠈⠛⣿⢸ ⡇⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣾⠀⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣷⣤⣤⣶⣶⡿⠃⣸ ⠃⣼⣿⡆⠀⠈⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⠀⠀⣘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣿ ⡇⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠙⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢰⣿ ⠛⡌⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⢏⣾⡟ ⡀⢳⡘⣿⣿⣆⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣡⣾⡿⠁ ⣧⠘⢷⡘⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⣠⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀ ⠋⣷⣾⣷⡌⢿⣿⣷⡀⠉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⠟⣡⣾⡄⠀ ⣿⣮⡙⢿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠿⢛⣡⣴⣾⡿⠟⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀
December 2020
xQcOW

Kripp finally picks Pogo

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Kripparian, thank you so much for finally picking Pogo! Ever since you picked Pogo, his grades have gone up, he finally got a girlfriend, and he's stopped masturbating all day in his bedroom. I was certain my little Pogo was going to end up a lifeless virgin loser for his entire life, but your kind actions have put Pogo on a path for success. Thank you, thank you, you have my sincerest gratitude. Much love, Pogo's mom.
twitch chat
June 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
twitch chat
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing