A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?" Johnny got up and said, "Sex is a TEMPTATION which causes a SENSATION when a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl's DESTINATION which increases the POPULATION for the next GENERATION. Do you get my EXPLANATION? or do you need a DEMONSTRATION?"
The teacher fainted.
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Ahsoka Tano
twitchquotes:
Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
Brofist
twitchquotes:
( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey Kripp, here's a "brofist" for you. ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
Kripp
Poggersception
⠄⠰⠛⠋⢉⣡⣤⣄⡉⠓⢦⣀⠙⠉⠡⠔⠒⠛⠛⠛⠶⢶⣄⠘⢿⣷⣤⡈⠻⣧
⢀⡔⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠉⠁⡀⠐⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡈⠳⢄⣹⣿⣿⣾⣿
⣼⠁⢠⡄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⡐⠁⡀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢻⡀⠈⠄⠄⣀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⡇⠈⠛⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿
⠄⢉⡓⠚⠛⠛⠋⣉⣩⣤⣤⣀⠑⠤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢁⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠈⠙⠛⠋⣭⣭⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢠⡍⠉⠉⢠⣤⣴⠚⢩⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣭⣭⣥⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⣴⣶⡶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣮⣭⣝⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠙⣿⡄⠄⠄⢀⡤⠬⢭⣝⣒⢂⠭⣉⠻⠿⣷⣶⣦⣭⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠸⣿⡇⠄⠸⣎⣁⣾⠿⠉⢀⠇⣸⣿⣿⢆⡉⠹⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⢀⡶⠶⠶⠾⠿⠮⠭⠭⢭⣥⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠈⣷⠄⠄⠄⣭⣙⣹⢙⣰⡎⣿⢏⣡⣾⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⢰⣿⡇⠄⠄⢿⠄⠄⠈⣿⠉⠉⣻⣿⡷⣰⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠘⠿⠤⠤⠿⠿⠿⢤⣤⣤⡿⣃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠘⢿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⣾⡿⢋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
Pepe
Hey! I noticed you are fucking retarded
In Japan, heart surgeon
Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!