[Copypasta] A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?"

A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?" Johnny got up and said, "Sex is a TEMPTATION which causes a SENSATION when a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl's DESTINATION which increases the POPULATION for the next GENERATION. Do you get my EXPLANATION? or do you need a DEMONSTRATION?" The teacher fainted.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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If Harambe and my girl both drowning

twitchquotes: If harambe 🐒 and my girl 👧 😍 both drowning 😱 👋 and I can only save one 😤 😬 Catch me at my girl funeral 😔 👻 🌹 with my dick out 😏 💯 😎 🍆
twitch chat
August 2016

Emoji Pasta

Harambe

NA, aka 'No Achievements'

twitchquotes: NA, aka 'No Achievements' is the weakest region in the professional League of Legends scene. They are specifically known for their clown fiestas and never winning anything worthwhile in the history of League of Legends.
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle

twitchquotes: I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
twitch chat
April 2020

Anime girl 7

⢰⡟⣡⡟⣱⣿⡿⠡⢛⣋⣥⣴⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠏⢼⡿⣰⡿⠿⠡⠿⠿⢯⣉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣦⣍⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣼⣷⢠⠀⠀⢠⣴⡖⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣯⣝⣻⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣿⡷⠂⠈⡉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⡤⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⠉⠛⠿ ⣿⢸⣿⡅⣠⣬⣥⣤⣴⣴⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡭⡄⣀⣉⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣈⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶ ⡧⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿ ⡇⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⢫⣿⣿⣻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⡇⣿⠘⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⠏⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⡾⢁ ⡇⣿⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢠⣤⠀⡤⢀⣠⣀⣀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣁⠉ ⣧⢻⠀⡄⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣾⡆⣿⣿⣿⠿⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠐⢡⣶ ⣿⡘⠈⣷⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⣎⠐⠿⢟⣋⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣩⠖⢠⡬⠈⠀ ⣿⣧⠁⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⢀⠈⢀⡴⠈⠁⠀⠀ ⠻⣿⣆⠘⣿⠀⠀⣀⡁⠀⠈⠙⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠤⠚⠁⠄⣠
ascii art
April 2019

Weebs

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