[Copypasta] A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?"

A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?" Johnny got up and said, "Sex is a TEMPTATION which causes a SENSATION when a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl's DESTINATION which increases the POPULATION for the next GENERATION. Do you get my EXPLANATION? or do you need a DEMONSTRATION?" The teacher fainted.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What could possibly be that washed up?

twitchquotes: Hey QT, my family just got back from Hawaii. We noticed this obese life form washed up on shore. We walked over to see what could possibly be that washed up. My brother poked it with a stick and it twitched and said "wow that actually fuckin killed me" wonder what it could be?
twitch chat
June 2019
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019

So Aurateur, let’s have a talk.

twitchquotes: So Aurateur, let’s have a talk. I strongly feel that your channel would do better if you turned off TTS or at least filtered out the spam. Thing is, while I myself have never donated to you or any other streamer, and my only subs are twitch prime, I feel I know a thing or two about how to succeed as a streamer and I’m certain your channel would do better without all the spam, it’s clear nobody wants that shit and is the only thing holding you back as a fulltime streamer. Thank you.
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur

I am a Volunteer Twitch Moderator

twitchquotes: You have been reported. I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Twitch Moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge. Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you'll be seeing a lot of it.
twitch chat
December 2018

MODS

I think it’s safe to say NA is a far superior region

I think it’s safe to say NA is a far superior region. There is just such a mentality difference between the two regions. Teams from NA want to win, while teams from EU (Streamnatic, Team twitchquid) just don’t want it as much. it really shows in the way they perform. NA is far more disciplined, practicing long hours of the day while EU would rather stream. Next lan, I’m not sure EU should get any spots tbf.
May 2022

Valorant

Text-to-Speech Playing