A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?" Johnny got up and said, "Sex is a TEMPTATION which causes a SENSATION when a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl's DESTINATION which increases the POPULATION for the next GENERATION. Do you get my EXPLANATION? or do you need a DEMONSTRATION?"
The teacher fainted.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Babe im breaking up with u
twitchquotes:
babe, i'm breaking up with you. it's not you, you were poggers. it's me, i'm omegalul. im sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i've just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it's time to end it, no kappa.
twitch chat
Classic
What is a GOAT?
twitchquotes:
The domestic goat or simply goat (Capra aegagrus hircus) is a subspecies of C. aegagrus domesticated from the wild goat of Southwest Asia and Eastern Europe.
twitch chat
Overwatch
HEY ADVERTISERS YOU'RE ONLY PROMOTING TO ONE PERSON
twitchquotes:
HEY ADVERTISERS YOU'RE ONLY PROMOTING TO ONE PERSON NEED PROOF? I'LL POST THIS ON MY OTHER ACCOUNTS
HEY ADVERTISERS YOU'RE ONLY PROMOTING TO ONE PERSON NEED PROOF? I'LL POST THIS ON MY OTHER ACCOUNTS
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TwitchPresents
YuGiOh Ad Marathon
And for a moment the two felt unsalted
twitchquotes:
I love salt too.” Reynad confessed, as he slipped his feminine hand into Kripp’s and smirked. “Are you trying to top-deck me?” protests Kripparroni, as Saltnad blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Kripp. “Weak tempo play, Reynad.” The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and for a moment the two felt unsalted.
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Kripp
salty
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."