[Copypasta] A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?"

A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?" Johnny got up and said, "Sex is a TEMPTATION which causes a SENSATION when a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl's DESTINATION which increases the POPULATION for the next GENERATION. Do you get my EXPLANATION? or do you need a DEMONSTRATION?" The teacher fainted.
April 2021
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Mom, twitch chat is not a documentary on Nazis!

twitchquotes: My mom just walked into my room and asked why I was watching a documentary on Hitlers top officers. I told her "No mom it's just twitch chat mods" She called me a Jew hater and burned a Swastika into my forehead.
twitch chat
August 2014
Trump

xQc juicer fanfic

twitchquotes: Felix starts to notice my eyes are welling up with tears, he sits up quickly. "Oh nyooo, why are you crying?" He rubbed my tears away. "Maybe let's sleep. Can we talk in the morning?" I went silent and hugged him tight. I agreed to talk in the morning over breakfast. I climbed off of him and told him I was going to shower, he followed to the bathroom and undressed with me. "Oh is that right?" I asked him. He smiled and kissed my neck, we both climbed into the shower and didn't really talk much. We kinda just stared at each other and smiled. He kissed me a few times wile rubbing what he kept calling my "juicers". Apparently I have some nice "juicers"? What is all this juice talk, it is killing me so bad. He is so funny.
twitch chat
September 2021
xQcOW

Gen G logo

⠄⠄⠄⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⡶⠿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⣭⣍⠄⣿⣟⣛⣛⡂⢰⣶⣄⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠰⣶⣶⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣤⣼⣿⠄⣿⣏⣉⣉⡁⢸⣿⠙⠿⣿⢠⣤⠄⣿⣧⣤⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠘⠃⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠄⠄⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣇⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢿⠄⠄⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2021

CLG is fantastic

twitchquotes: CLG is fantastic, just needs to work on communication, map awareness, laning, vision control, csing, poking, landing skillshots, objective control, early game, mid game, late game, ganking, and getting kills.
twitch chat
February 2020
LCS

League of Legends

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

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