[Copypasta] Penis Inspection Day

twitchquotes: I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat
December 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy 1/4lb Single

twitchquotes: My god, I would kill someone for a Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy 1/4lb Single right about now. I mean that bakery bun, coupled with that sexy melted American cheese, the kick of those red onions, and the salty, seasoned square of beef that is always fresh and never frozen cannot be topped anywhere. Every time I bite into a Wendy’s burger, it’s like it’s making love to my tastebuds. I don’t even like eating fast food; unless it’s Wendy’s.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

Taco did we come back?

twitchquotes: Taco: "Actually, I remember one time we were playing against Virtus Pro, Nuke, and it was 15-5 to VP. We were playing as T. VP are CT. And Fallen said, guys if you think we are good, let's prove it now." Teammate: "Did you come back?" Taco: "Of course not. 16-5."
twitch chat
November 2019

CSGO

nooooooooo emote

⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿ ⡆⠊⠈⣿⢿⡟⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⠈⠻ ⣷⣠⠁⢀⠰⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢹⣿⡑⠐⢰ ⣿⣿⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡩⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠠⠈⠊⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⠁⢀⠆⢀ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢤⣿⣿⡿⠃⠈⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣇⡆⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣦⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣷⣦⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⣾⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣠⣂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⣤⣤⣔⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2021

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

AYAYA star

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⡴⠶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠶⢦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⡟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢻⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠈⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⠁⠙⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠸⣇⠉⠻⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⠟⠉⣸⠇⠄⠄⠄⠹⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡆⠄⠄⠙⠷⣦⣴⠾⠋⠄⠄⢰⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣧⠄ ⢰⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⢀⣤⡾⠋⠙⢷⣤⡀⠄⣾⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⡆ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣷⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⣾⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⠟⠉⢻⡄⠄ AYAYA ⠄⣾⡟⠉⠻⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⡀⠄⢀⣴⠞⠋⠄⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⠁⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣦⡀⠄⠄⣿ ⠸⣧⠾⠿⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢾⣷⠶⠶⠶⠶⣾⡷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⠿⠷⣼⠇ ⠄⢻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡟⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⠄⠄⣾⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⠟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣇⣸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⠞⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠳⠶⣦⣤⣼⣧⣤⣴⠶⠞⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2020

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing