[Copypasta] Penis Inspection Day

twitchquotes: I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat
December 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Grey face man

twitchquotes: ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ ᴍᴀɴ. ᴍʏ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ɢʀᴇᴇɴʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀs ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ sʜᴇ sᴀᴡ sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ sᴄᴀʀʏ ғᴀᴄᴇs ɪɴ ᴄʜᴀᴛ sʜᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴘɪᴛᴀʟ. sᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ, ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴋᴇ ᴏғ ᴏʟᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ, ɴᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɢʀᴇʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Hi Kripp, Google again here

twitchquotes: Kripp, Google again here. We've noticed that you've been away from Twitch for at least 2 minutes in the past. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still the merchandise? We're serious about raising the price if it's a problem to you. We just want you to have fun, and to of course buy more Twitch merchandise. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you (mostly us) much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Viewbots

Warrior vs Warrior ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: See Kripp streaming PogChamp , see Kripp playing constructed Kappa , See it's Warrior vs Warrior ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Riot games made 5 Dominable League of Legends player

twitchquotes: "Riot games made 5 Dominable League of Legends players who strove to be the best, Imaqtpie, Faker, EU Sucks, and 3 others" - Imaqtpie....
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

EU vs NA

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