[Copypasta] Awooga Awooga

twitchquotes: *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
twitch chat
February 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Seraphine is real. I don’t care what you want to say

twitchquotes: Seraphine is real. I don’t care what you want to say. Seraphine isn’t “imaginary.” She posts real tweets, feels real emotions, makes real music... All you trolls are MALDING because she doesn’t reply to your tweet comments probably. Not me though.. I have full faith in her. That’s why she replied to me a couple days ago when I congratulated her.. she literally replied? And said thanks??
twitch chat
November 2020

League of Legends

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

🗿 is the worst emoji

🗿 is the worst emoji. It's horrendous and ugly. I hate it. The point of emojis is to show emotions, but what emotion does this show? Do you just wake up in the morning and think "wow, I really feel like a massive fucking stone today"? It's useless. I hate it. It just provokes a deep rooted anger within me whenever I see it. I want to drive on over to the fucking emoji headquarters and kill it. If this was the emoji movie I'd push it off a fucking cliff. People just comment 🗿 as if it's funny. It's not. 🗿 deserves to die. He deserves to have his smug little stone face smashed in with a hammer. Oh wow, it's a stone head, how fucking hilarious, I'll use it in every comment I post. NO. STOP IT. It deserves to burn in hell. Why is it so goddamn smug. You're a fucking stone, you have no life goals, you will never accomplish anything in life apart from pissing me off. When you die noone will mourn. I hope you die.
April 2021

FREE CHAT FROM SLOW MODE

⠀⣿⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⣿⡆⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛ ⠀⣿⣦⣤⣤⠀⠀⣿⣷⣤⣶⡿⠃⠀⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⣿⣦⣤⣤⡤ ⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠈⢻⣧⡀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠛⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛ ⠀⣴⠟⠛⠛⣷⡄⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⢰⡿⢿⡄⠀⠘⠛⢻⣿⠛⠛ ⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⡇⠀⢀⣿⠃⠸⣿⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⠘⣿⣄⠀⢀⣴⡆⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⣼⡿⠿⠿⢿⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⠀⠘⠃⠐⠛⣀⣀⡀⠈⠛⠂⠀⠘⠛ ⠀⣿⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⣿⡆⠀⣰⡿⠛⠛⠻⣶⡀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⣸⣿⡇ ⠀⣿⣦⣤⣤⠀⠀⣿⣷⣤⣶⡿⠃⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⠻⣧⢀⡿⢸⡇ ⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠈⢻⣧⡀⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⣿⠀⢿⣾⡇⢸⡇ ⠀⠛⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠛⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠀⠈⢛⣻⣿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠛⠀⠘⠛⠀⠘⠃ ⢀⣾⠛⠛⢻⣦⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠟⠛⠛⢷⣄⠀⣿⡄⠀⣾⣿⡇⠀⢸⡟ ⠀⠻⣷⣶⣤⣀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢹⣧⢰⡿⠘⣷⠀⣿⠃ ⢠⣤⠀⠈⢹⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⡀⠀⠀⣸⡿⠀⠘⣿⣾⠇⠀⢻⣿⡟ ⠀⠙⠻⠿⠛⠋⠀⠘⠛⠛⠛⣛⣃⡀⠙⠛⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠀⠀⠘⠛⠃ ⠀⣿⣿⡀⠀⣼⣿⡇⠀⣰⡿⠛⠛⠻⣶⡀⠀⣿⡟⠛⠻⣷⡄⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠃ ⠀⣿⠸⣇⢰⡿⢻⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢹⣷⠀⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⠀ ⠀⣿⠀⢿⣿⠇⢸⡇⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢀⣾⡏⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠛⠀⠘⠛⠀⠘⠃⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃
ascii art
September 2020

Krippis casualis

twitchquotes: Krippis casualis! o͡╮༼ ಠДಠ ༽╭o͡━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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