[Copypasta] Awooga Awooga

twitchquotes: *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
twitch chat
February 2020
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Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Moonmoon do it for yourself

twitchquotes: Jesse, listen. We all have trials. We all have difficulties. We all have these moments where we think maybe we can't overcome the obstacle right in front of us. But we know we can. We know better. Victory is within our reach. Success is within your reach. Don't give up. You will become the boshy. Do it for Eddie. Do it for Chat. Do it for Cloud. Most of all, do it for yourself.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

And youโ€™ve been, GNOMED

twitchquotes: Ho ho ho ha ha ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚, ho ho ho he ha๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ. Hello there๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ‘‹, old chum๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต. Iโ€™m ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธ g'not ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธa g'nelf๐Ÿง๐Ÿ‘Ž. Iโ€™m ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธg'not๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธ a g'noblin๐Ÿ‘บ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘บ. Iโ€™m a g'nome๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿ˜!! And youโ€™ve been, GNOOOMED๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ!!!
twitch chat
September 2018

Emoji Pasta

fortnite should add a pregnant female skin

I think fortnite should add a pregnant female skin. Every kill she gets she slowly gives birth. When in water blood comes out. At 10 kills she gives birth and the baby can be your pet. Thoughts? Fortnite should hire me yo๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™
April 2021

Fortnite

0-10 IN GROUPS, FASTEST INTERNATIONAL B05

twitchquotes: KEKW 0-10 IN GROUPS KEKW FASTEST INTERNATIONAL B05 LOSS TO EU KEKW NEVER WON WORLDS KEKW NEVER WON MSI KEKW IRRELEVANT SINCE S1 KEKW OBSESSED WITH EU KEKW 0 TEAMS OUT OF GROUPS KEKW TSM XD KEKW NA OMEGALUL Clap
twitch chat
April 2020
LCS

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing