[Copypasta] Awooga Awooga

twitchquotes: *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Elder Scrolls developer messages Kripp

twitchquotes: (The Elder Scrolls: Legends™ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to wear your TES:L shirt and don't forget our little 'arrangement' later tonight at the motel. ;)
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

sellout

The Manny Will Not Be Televised

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠸⡆⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢉⣹⣿⠧⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⣠⠴⠶⠶⠆⠀⠟⣉⣍⡛⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⡏⠰⢇⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⠷⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⡞⠋⠉⠙⠗⠀⠰⠽⠿⠅⠀⠀⠘⠒⠚⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⣆⠀ ⢸⡇⠛⠙⠃⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡿⠀ ⠀⠙⠒⠒⢺⡇⠙⣝⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⢻⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⣶⣶⣶⢶⡶⠶⠶⠤⢤⠤⢤⠤⠤⠤⢴⠶⠚⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠋⣀⣉⢙⣇⣀⣀⣀⣼⠀⠸⣄⣀⣀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⢠⡞⠿⣽⡿⢉⡿⠋⣀⠉⡉⠻⣄⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⢦⡀⠷⢿⠀⣾⠁⣸⠃⡶⢘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⡈⠉⠉⢋⣙⣻⠵⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Oop gotta sign a petition
ascii art
July 2020

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021

You're just typing in twitch chat

twitchquotes: My beautiful Hafu turns to me in bed and kisses me. Her cute smile fills me with happiness. Hafu holds me close as she whispers in my ear: "You know this isn't real. You're just typing in twitch chat. You're alone." "10/10 body." I miss lethal.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Reacting to content takes skill

twitchquotes: Reaction when done right is a true artform. The sheer effort, persistence and dedication it takes for someone to master the craft is astounding. The skill and talent of the contestants on masterchef pales in comparison to the skill and talent of the true master watching them, pausing at the precise moment to achieve the pinnacle of comedy by releasing gas audibly from his colon. It is truly exhilarating, even a little arousing, to witness a true master of reacting at work.
twitch chat
December 2021
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