[Copypasta] Awooga Awooga

twitchquotes: *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
twitch chat
February 2020
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The ogrelord. Shrek.

November 2014

Shrek

Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Kripp when do you start being a sellout?

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Just wondering when you're going to start selling Nvidia™ Tshirts and Cups?, Or even better, Do you think we can get some HyperX™ ram discounts on G2A®? While you're at it, I think you should have some giveaways for Subway® Giftcards™?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

sellout

mizkif maybe if u werent such an asshole

twitchquotes: lmao mizkif maybe if u werent such an asshole with a huge ego maybe the cool streamers like mitch jones would come over and learn mario 64 speed running tricks with you. lmao but ur just depressed its actually sad ur sad, i would know i'm a hate watcher that used to make $600k a month... anyway my dad's coming downstairs gotta go
twitch chat
May 2020
Mizkif
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